The Real LJ Idol // Season 10, Week 4

[ellison]

This is an entry for therealljidol, and I hope you enjoy it! ~M.

Prompt: “I don't skate to where the puck is. I skate to where the puck is going to be. "
~Wayne Gretzky"Sometimes I think I could just live here forever," he mused that late afternoon. The waves gently shushed back and forth across the shore

Comments

[uselesstinrelic]

I'm really glad you had Rick wanting to be bad at Danny. I think it's really common that people have a lot of resentment when it comes to providing care where one person does more/is more there for someone. And often when they die, there's a lot of blame there and I feel like it could have been too idealistic if he hadn't had complex thoughts

[ellison]

Dang dude, you have such cool insights and ask amazing questions! I felt a little torn on how they thought of their mom. I did mean to make it sound more loving than I think it came off. I imagined it being complex though, like there was some tumultuous stuff going on, or she and a stepdad had been too hard on them or something. But the line about "this" woman, I maybe could have edited better. I was trying to convey (succinctly, which as you know is not easy for me, ;P ) that whenever anyone mourns someone, it's unique, and that only these two brothers could share a mutual sense of loss, because they both loved their mother, they both felt this particular loss, and no one else would quite understand the way they did. Or something like that. Then again, I kind of like the open endedness of it, the multiple ways it could be interpreted. It is really cool hearing your thoughts/reactions to this - thanks for that!! :D

[adoptedwriter]

Awwww... This reminds me of what my hub and his bro go through dealing w their mother and her Alzheimers issues. BIL goes gallivanting off...Hub is here dealing w reality...

[ellison]

Oh man, sorry your hubs is dealing with that. Not an easy situation by any means.

[bleodswean]

Great job setting this up! I loved that Rick knew where to find his brother!

[ellison]

Thank you!

[morettaallstar]

I really feel for Rick here. As the oldest child, he feels the duty to his mother a lot more than Danny, who is clearly used to getting his was and not having to help (I'm projecting, yes).
The ending is freeing for both of them, but I feel it will come back to bite Rick especially. Neither of them are going to be able to go home without being dragged down by it, and Danny will spend the rest of his life escaping.
(Angry angsty comment, check. Sorry! The story is a good use of the prompt, and you can tell it affected me, so good job!)

[ellison]

Hehe, being affected is a good thing! I'm kind of excited that Danny is real enough to anger a real-live-person reader, in addition to his fictional brother. ;D

Also I imagine that what you said is definitely spot-on, too!

Thanks for reading and commenting!!

[penpusher]

Bittersweet and gut wrenching. But siblings don't always behave the same - they are different people, and have different abilities and capabilities to handle specific circumstances. It's a good tale.

[ellison]

Oh yes I've known quite a lot of siblings to be extremely different from one another!

Thanks so much! :)