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[ellj1017]

I went back into New Orleans Sunday. It was the most surreal experience of my life. Lakeview is disgusting. Its just this oppressive dust, wet, hot, smell, thing and its so bad. The dust, it was everywhere. You hate to breathe. I won't go into too much specifics. I took pictures. I need to buy a cord for my camera because I want to upload

Comments

[mille52]

I didn't think you were detatched...

...I just thought you were trying to not make us feel so bad about having our houses not as bad as yours...which was greatly appreciated.

I know this must be so hard for you. And I'm not kidding that you come live in my house. Your mom too if she wants. And Colin. You could stay in our attic. It's hot...but there's a dysfunctional TV and a bathroom.

[ellj1017]

Thanks for not assuming that I lack emotions (you know, the detached thing). Your attic sounds awesome, camille. I would hate to impose on people by living with them though. I can probably invade my dad's apartment if he gets one. All I know is that if franklin opens I'm there. I will find distant relatives and impose on them for extended periods of time. I'll do whatever it takes, but you know I'll be the second one in, after you of course.

[dana8688]

Ellie, i'm so sorry. I cry just thinking about your house and what you must feel like. I loved your house, it was so fun and comfy. It'll all be okay again some day ellie, don't worry. And believe me, you can live with me, you can borrow any of my stuff you want, you can have my stuff, you can call me whenever you want, anything to make you feel better. I miss you so much and i can't believe this has happened. Seriously, you can count on me for anything, and not just now, anytime in your lifetime. I know you wouldn't want to but you could live with me here in st. louis, you can stay at my house in new orleans (whether i'm there or not), you can live with my family in jefferson parish, you and your whole family, can stay with me anywhere. I love you, and don't worry everything will be okay again soon, i promise.

[ellj1017]

I know, I get upset thinking about everyone's houses. Thanks for offering up your house. I think my dad might rent an apartment in New Orleans so I guess I'd live with him. I'm so sad that your house is fucked up too. Your house was probably my favorite because it reminded me of my house. Seriously, I was hoping it would be ok because...i don't know, it just makes me think of my house.

I miss you so unbelievably much dana. If its at all possible move to lafayette now. Please. I'm serious, you could live with me. If I don't make plans to see you soon I'm going to loose it.

[juniper427]

I know what you mean about the detachment. I think.

The first few weeks after it happened I was overly logical. In my own way I accepted everything and whenever I'd talk about the situation I'd be so calm.. I'm sure it freaked people out, but that's how my body decided to deal with it. It makes me feel less human, but it helps more than uncontrollable emotions. Not that I wouldn't lapse into the occasional crying fit..

The image of you walking up to a violin laid out on a bed and having it fall apart in your hands is beautiful. Awful, but you know what I mean. Your loss is horrific..

[ellj1017]

Yeah, I kinda figured it was either one extreme or the other in terms of attitude, you either completely loose control or maintain an eerie amount of composure. I too lapse into the occaisional crying fit when I start thinking about everyone. By now I'm probably just repeating myself though and I'm sure its getting old.

I miss you sarah and I loved your house too. You had the best hammock chair in the world. And your posters were awesome. I was so jealous of your awesome beatles poster and the johnny depp temple meredith made for you. I miss watching the biographies of serial killers on A&E in your living room. Ah! I need to see you so badly!

[phuong_thanh]

Hey Ellen,
This is thanh. i'm sorry for just randomly pop up in your journal and commenting.. your description was so poignant. i was very sad to hear about your violin. i'm not sure if you want to, and it's not the best, but you can have my violin whenever you want. i hope you'll feel better. i'm sorry to hear about your house.. things will get better. i miss having orchestra with you..hope to see you soon again. thanh.

[ellj1017]

Hey Thanh,
It was so nice to hear from you! I miss orchestra so much, it was going to be so awesome this year. I hope that you're doing ok wherever you are. Thanks for offering your violin, thats too sweet of you. I hope all of your instruments fared better than mine. I feel so stupid for leaving my violin at home, oh well. I wish that there was some way we could all still go on the orchestra trip, but who knows franklin might maybe possibly be open by then. I miss you thanh, I hope everything will work out for you!

[kiwielfqueen]

I'm so sorry Ellie. But I know that when I go back to see my house (whenever that is) it will be the same as yours. Us people with Lakeview houses are all in the same boat. Once I go back (b/c I just have to, to make things more real), I'll probably have a story like yours. I try to think about how my room looks now but all I can think of is the way it looked before Katrina. I'm pretty damn sure my house is uninhabitable too. But I have relatives that will go back and I'm sure you could come live with me (even though I'm like the 3rd person to offer you a place to live). I just really want as many ppl as possible to go back to Franklin.

[ellj1017]

We lakeview people need to stick together. At least we can all bitch about how completely awful it (being lakeview and I guess the whole situation) is. Haha, and thanks for the third offer of a place to live, its really too nice of everyone. It'll all work out though. I just really miss everyone, but I'm sure all of us feel the same way.