Story Chapter One

[elmlorough]

Well here is my story. I only put it on here because I'm too lazy to send it to people. Also anything that needs to be fixed or anything, feel free to tell me. This is only the first draft so it probably has lots of mistakes. Thanks for your time. (Now edited

Comments

[kachan]

You didn't specify if you wanted comments/constructive criticism/telling of things that need to be fixed. Cause I noticed things that made me cringe, but eh, just meh.

[elmlorough]

What do you think needs to be fixed? I encourage comments/constructive/and the pointing out of things that need to be fixed a bit.