that i needed to tough it out and survive. that this was my first real job out of college and i needed to just do it. That things would get better. and that i would go through this with any job i applied for.
oh yeah, i told her i was ready to walk out the door and that i was thinking of just doing that. And she said well, if you do that we cannot rehire you and we cannot give you a good recommendation.
You know I always support you and care about you. Here is my wife's story. She graduated with honors from college and taught in a very poor 9th ward school in New Orleans. She was the only white person in the school that lasted the entire year. Every afternoon when she came home from school she fell on the bed face down and cried for 45 minutes. Like you, she felt her feelings and survived. IMHO your supervisor is right that you need to just experience your emotions and set a time that you will stay. Like 6 months or a year then review your situation. With intermediate goals you might be able to survive. I remember when you were working on your masters you had this I am going to quit attitude but you toughed it out and graduated. Unlike others who post here. I only know you on the internet so take my comments here with a grain of salt so to speak. Anyway have a big ((((HUG)))). I am proud of you.
i've been trying to just last 4 months... but i dont know that i can handle it.
I havent quit yet, but i'm seriously about to explode with all this crap in my head. and if i could go home and actually not be on call or worrying about the kids i'd be ok i think...
Too bad I can't talk to you face to face. I would take an inventory of what makes you cry specifically. If it is the condition of the children you need to realize you are in a helping position and you need to trust the system. I have co-dependency issues and I always try to fix the world by myself. Slowly but surely I am working on this issue. Most jobs with responsibility have a call issue. Every job I have had since college has been of that type. What happens is you find out that there are certain issues that routinely come up and you will devise routine answers. You have the heart to care and that is why they made the investment in you to hire and train you. So trust the system, feel your emotions, and know you are qualified otherwise they would not have hired you.
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I havent quit yet, but i'm seriously about to explode with all this crap in my head. and if i could go home and actually not be on call or worrying about the kids i'd be ok i think...
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