Comments | elodie21: Random musings

elodie21

Random musings

Feb 22, 2013 09:46

I don't like pretending that I believe in rituals and prayers, which I have to in front of his family. I don't mind another person's faith but I don't like having to pretend I have faith! Visiting temples and all, people tell me I should bow before God (and in my own way I like to think there is a God out there, I don't believe in the divide of ( Read more... )

Comments 9

d4b February 22 2013, 12:08:44 UTC

I feel guilty, like am a criminal for not wanting kids....

Hardly! The world has enough people.

[M]aybe once we start living together and have a home, things might change.... I am tired of living with a suitcase, not having a home set up....

Huh?

Maybe I need a break, but from what and to where?

Umm... this isn't obvious?

elodie21 March 3 2013, 15:30:19 UTC

Yes I agree, we have enough people already!
And well my husband is in the army so right now he has a non-family posting, which means we cannot live together so I stayed back at my parents' place. Now he has a new posting from April where he can have his family, ie me. His job his such that every 1.5-2 years, he will go away to a non-family posting for 1-2 years. Maybe thats a good thing for a marriage!!!

d4b March 4 2013, 04:24:57 UTC

I'm not so sure I agree, but I do respect you and your culture.

elodie21 March 7 2013, 02:50:17 UTC

Well I have lived too long in Europe to actually follow my culture. My thinking is pretty simple, be a good person and thats all the religion and culture you need.

Thread 5

smittenbyu February 23 2013, 21:09:58 UTC

same here with the rituals and all. However, my in-laws are somewhat understanding. I do go to the temples with them but I don't do any of the rituals unless I somehow feel the need/urge to. I pray, but none of the rituals. God doesn't care. Additionally, my hubby doesn't care about doing the rituals at home and thinking living in a different continent does help. All they expect from me is to at least light up the lamp. It's more the importance of learning the lesson/meaning of the festival than the rituals is important...or so they say! I am fortunate that I have an understanding FIL, and MIL who knows I will do whatever I want to ( ... )

smittenbyu February 23 2013, 21:13:10 UTC

the more I think of it... in our case it was the opposite. My husband wanted to know everything about me. He pushed me to share my stories, my feelings. Oh he tried so hard! In fact too hard. I didn't want to divulge everything. Just because we got married doesn't mean I feel 100% comfortable sharing everything about my past. That trust takes time....maybe your hubby is similar?

elodie21 March 3 2013, 15:41:59 UTC

Yes true, trust takes time to build! But in his case its different, see he pushes me to write, to get published someday and that is something I want but just don't do anymore. I have become so caught up with work and to be honest, juggling multiple jobs so I can earn more that I left feeling exhausted, sometimes its an effort to even get up in the morning! My husband is very moody, some days he wants to know whats happening and other times, he feels am a gossip! I sometimes think he wants to know about the good things I experienced in life or maybe its just a mood thing, its just not nice that when I want to talk, at some times he doesn't and especially with the distance and his mobile not receiving signals most days, I feel there is lots I want to share but have to keep thinking about his mood ( ... )

elodie21 March 3 2013, 15:43:34 UTC

And yes I really need to talk about a family, from what I can make out, he wants children a lot. And I don't like some of his family telling me to plan etc, it really irritates me. Sometimes I wonder, was this a sensible marriage for me... Not because anyone is bad, just that I am too different from their expectations and feel alienated.