Being a direct quote from my grandmother's mouth this past Saturday. Elephants folks. Elephants are not an animal native to North America. Imagine me, sitting down to paint and watch TV. Grandma, as usual, comes along and sits down and start up a conversation. Not really a conversation so much as she'll talk about things happening on TV as if she ( Read more... )

Man I loved Altered Beast back in the day ( Read more... )

Well, I'm not dead. The only thing that happened was that I got the movie I order from Amazon.com on the 13th. Yeah, that was a good suprise, but I was hoping for something alittle dramatic or life changing. Fires, floods, hit and run. That kinda stuff ( Read more... )

I'd have to say that yesterday I had about *the* most depressing birthday of my entire life. You know, the 25th one where you wake up and realize you still live at home, have a job only because calling it "going somewhere else to sit for 8 hours" would reveal to everyone that I'm literaly not making any money, and rank on a scale of loserness (1 ( Read more... )

If life were CounterStrike, Death would be greeted the delight of hearing "HEAD SHOT" "KILLING SPREE" through his PC speakers made from rib cages of small children. Then he'd call someone a fag ( Read more... )

Oh boy. Guess whos back in the house? Grandma, again. Fucking hell. My great aunt has a tiny little stroke, and now grandma is back again for who knows how long. Another weekend? I get worn out just thinking about it. How many more times can I hear "whorehouse"? Four more days of listening to her talk about Mammie, the WTC, the Pope, whorehouses, ( Read more... )

Yes, its been a month or so. I've been really busy. Busy waiting to die. Because, really, what better use of my time is there? Getting a better job? Getting laid? Pfft... being dead is where its at son. Look at Jesus. Hes dead, and EVERYBODY just loooooooooooooooooves the fuck out of him ( Read more... )

In the post-apocalyptic future, penguins will harvest and eat seahorses for food. From even further in yet another post-post-apocalyptic future one orangutang will travel back in time to this post-pre-apocalypse with only one chance to save seahorses from total extinction. Coming to you, summer of 2005 ( Read more... )

By and large I would have to give the past nine days a negative Ebay rating of :F--------------------- "Would not revolve around the sun again". Then again thats the rating I would give to most weeks, so I guess its nothing special ( Read more... )

For hiding drugs and transporting them across the U.S./Mexico border, you silly dolphin fucker ( Read more... )