[fic] State of Mind - Chapter Fourteen

[elric_ward]

Fons sucked on his thumb where the berry spines had pierced it and scowled ferociously. This wasn’t how he had planned his day. Ward was supposed to leave the pack and come back to the Heiderich’s den. Fons wasn’t meant to join the pack and help gather berries. He could hear Ward and the Mustang - predator - playing around as they practiced their

Comments

[deepgreen18]

Very fun chapter! I liked too many things to list, almost.

I was surprised that the original pack...respected? Ward and Fons' way of doing things. It made me happy.

You did give us some hot threesome action after all! I wasn't thinking of Havo or Flash as mating material, for some reason, but I'm delighted with their inclusion in Sting's demonstration.

Thanks for including Fons' POV at the beginning. It clarified a few things we've been discussing. Also, Ward and Sting's discussion of hunting, mating, and courting was very fun. I was pleasantly surprised that they used, well, pack hunting techniques to take down a deer. I would've assumed a more individual approach, but Mustang's are very smart. The contrasts that Flash and Sting drew between the pack's way of doing things and normal Elric/Heiderich behavior was interesting.

This made me laugh, oddly:
’You can teach me how to hunt and what Fons wants with me. You’re a [commander] by doing that.’> He nearly strangled himself on the gunbu word.I don't know why I enjoy seeing

[elric_ward]

I am glad you liked it :D I've had the chapter written out for a couple of weeks now and it was so tempting to just, post everything at once.

Ward is still a bit on the young side, so I'm glad it comes across. So easily confused and not yet ready to be a dad C:

(and really, the pack may respect Fons' wants for now...but in the future oho who knows)

Fix'd bits so they will hopefully be more clarified! I'm off to bed now. It's 3am and my laptop only has 5 minutes of battery left. (I'm only awake because I was writing 04 of the sequel~ Oh this story has grasped me tightly in its clutches. )

[deepgreen18]

Goodness, woman! Never mind a six hour difference. It's 1pm here. That's...14 hours ahead or 10 hours behind. Gah. (I realize I could just use Google to find out, but whatever)

I'm excited to read the last chapter and the sequel, but don't overdo it! It would be very sad if you ran yourself ragged over a story that, for me, is just for fun!

I do the same thing, though... We fanficcer's are a strange, obsessive lot.

[elric_ward]

I can't help it! Somewhere along the line it became just as much fun to write this as it is to read others!

Such great fun :D