Comments | elric_ward: [fic] Our Environment

elric_ward

[fic] Our Environment - Chapter Four

Oct 02, 2010 21:07

Hushed chatters and a giggle registered faintly in his hearing but it was the sharp jab into his ribs that brought Ward out of his peaceful sleep. What was it now? Reluctantly, he unrolled himself to look tiredly over Fons’ stiff - too stiff - body and at their den’s entryway.

Tiny little humans with big eyes were watching them.

Ward ( Read more... )

[fic] our environment

Comments 3

deepgreen18 October 3 2010, 00:04:19 UTC

Good to hear from you again! I hope your busy period went well, or is it not over yet?

I liked this chapter, but I think I like all your chapters, so that lowers the impact of the statement.

It was so strange to have to re-read the end of chapter 3 so I could remember where they were and what they were eating. That poor dog; it makes me want to call PETA, except it's not animal cruelty when it's an animal doing the killing. Also: "giant rat-squirrel"! Insert inappropriate laughter here.

Anyway, you left me laughing in this chapter with Ward's rejection of the milk (anime reference ftw!), and one-finger salutes. (Does Edward gesture like that in the anime or is this a Ward-ism? It suits his personality oh so well.)

Three cheers for books! I would bet a lot of money that the "good-smelling ones" are the old books with dried glue in the bindings. He really does have a lot of cat-like behaviors when you come down to it.

My usual comments:
There was still no affect as the kit-humans fumbled a bit more and one of them started to ( ... )

Oh, the almost-sex! deepgreen18 October 3 2010, 00:11:28 UTC

I got lost in the beta-ing and forgot to give encouragement on the grooming scene! I enjoyed it greatly. It was intimate and cozy. I thought the characters had a good fanon balance of...power is the wrong word. Fons is in charge and the more experienced one, but Ward is coming into his own as an Edward. It just read well, in general. I can only hope that this will lead to more (and more than) on-screen grooming...

Re: Oh, the almost-sex! elric_ward October 4 2010, 13:17:21 UTC

Thaaaanks for all the help. Alas I am still uber busy and these are all the chapters I ...forgot... to upload. Just posted 5, so you're all up to date now. n_n;

So. much. to. do. ._____. I'm hoping to start working on the story again sometime after October 15th. /crossed fingers/

(and maybe, if I can, in the future. Ahahahaha so awkward to write)