Fic: It's Always Open Season On Princesses 2/?
Title: It's Always Open Season On Princesses 2/?
Spoilers: Through 'For A Few Paintballs More'
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Dan Harmon owns all of it.
Summary: How Jeff & Annie Spend Their Summer Vacation
AN: Annie's POV again.
Annie pulled the door open with a hard tug and walked slowly into the restaurant. Her brain was trying so hard to wrap around all the information she’d just been given that she was worried about it over-heating and shutting down. She continued, zombie-like, through the crowded restaurant. The restaurant that was filled with her Greendale classmates celebrating their victory. Everyone but the person who had actually won for them.
Pierce.
She dropped heavily into the booth next to Britta, causing the blonde to bounce slightly, turning wide eyes on Annie. “Annie, what-” She stopped when she took in the expression on Annie’s face and the younger woman felt a small cold hand drop onto hers. “Annie, what’s wrong?”
Annie shook her head, not trusting her voice to say anything at the moment. Her eyes moved without her permission to Jeff’s face. He was staring at her with narrowed eyes, concern in his countenance. Annie shook it off quickly. Of course he seemed concerned. She’d just shuffled in without speaking.
“What did Pierce say?” Abed asked, turning questioning eyes on Annie and she met his gaze. His eyes changed for a second in a way that Annie couldn’t pinpoint and then he was chewing his waffles again.
“He…” Annie shook her head, running the words over in her own mind before saying them aloud. When they hit her, she felt a crazy giggle bubble up from her stomach and then the brunette was swallowing it back down, trying to adopt the same somber face she’d had a minute earlier. The idea was absurd really. But it was real. “He gave me a free trip to Italy.”
“What?” Jeff was the first to say, his voice going up an octave. His eyebrows rose incredulously.
Britta turned her head toward Annie. “Seriously, Annie?”
Annie felt herself nod quickly before meeting Abed’s gaze again. He nodded slightly, as if this all made perfect sense to him. At least it made sense to someone.
She would need to buy an outlet adapter for her hair dryer.
And get a passport.
“No he didn’t,” Jeff announced before picking at his egg whites.
Annie frowned at him. “Yes, he did.” With a flourish, she pulled the tickets out of the borrowed basketball shorts she was wearing and slapped them onto the table.
Jeff pulled them toward him and flipped one open to stare at it. Annie glowered in silence, waiting for a response from him. She was rewarded three seconds later when Jeff’s attention turned back to her. “So, you’re going to Europe with Pierce? You kids have a good time.”
“Ew,” Annie noted, wrinkling her nose. “Jeff, don’t be gross.” She pulled the tickets back quickly. “He said that despite how he feels about all of us as a group, he still thinks I’m a good kid and…I deserve to be a kid.” At this, she shot Jeff a pointed look which he deflected easily.
“So, what’s the catch?” he asked.
Annie huffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Come on, Annie.” Britta was facing Annie, but kept her eyes on Jeff. “It seems a little strange that after a year of being an irredeemable jerk that he would up and give you two plane tickets to Europe, no strings attached.”
Annie stilled and thought back to her conversation with the older man that had only happened and hour earlier. When she’d arrived at Hawthorne Manor, she was overwhelmed. She’d never been there before, only heard tales of the extravagance that Pierce and Troy lived in. Troy nervously opened the front door and Annie could tell from his body language that he was relieved his stuff wasn’t in boxes by the front door. Pierce had stepped out into the foyer, smoking jacket tied around his waist and a glass of scotch in his hand and greeted them warmly for someone who had told them to go take a flying leap not an hour earlier. He’d wasted almost no time in announcing to Annie that he had something for her and had handed the tickets to her with no fanfare. He had a house outside Rome that she was free to live in. He was rattling off names of local vineyards and bakeries before Annie had even realized what was really happening.
“Or maybe he’s a genuinely good person who just wants people to like him,” Annie countered with a severe look from Jeff to Britta, who had the good grace to look chagrined. She straightened primly before running a hand over her finally dry hair. “He said it was an early birthday present and that I should feel free to take whomever I want.”
Jeff exhaled at that through his mouth, re-grouping. “Well,” he finally said. “This seems like a good safe idea.”
“What happened to Shirley?” Annie asked, trying to sideline the conversation.
“She bailed,” Abed answered. “Said she needed to pump again.”
“Who are you going to take?” Britta asked with a shudder.
“What?” Jeff asked, shooting Britta a derisive look. “You are not going along with this.”
Britta shrugged. “They appear to be real plane tickets.” Annie watched the two argue as if she really was their child who was asking to go to Europe for the summer. The thought made her nauseas. “And we’ll look up his address before hand and make sure there’s really a house there.” Britta smiled at Annie. “She should be allowed to have a little fun.” Annie returned the smile with a wavering one of her own, trying not to focus on the implication that Britta wanted her out of the country. “You’ll have a blast, Annie. And, if you’re looking for a traveling companion, I have been to Europe and know my way around.”
“Amsterdam doesn’t count,” Jeff said, his voice getting an edge to it that made Annie nervous. “And you”, he directed his statement toward Annie, “can’t seriously be considering going to Italy with a woman who will desert you the minute she meets a Rastafarian who invites her back to the hemp-filled hostel where he‘s staying.” Annie frowned before looking over at Britta who in turn was glaring at Jeff. “Am I going to have to put up with everyone making plays for this extra ticket now like this is ‘Saved By The Bell’?”
“Annie,” Leonard said as he approached their table. “Hear you’re going to Italy. Have I ever mentioned I speak Italian?” He waggled his eyebrows at her and Annie grimaced over at Abed.
“It doesn’t matter who asks for the second ticket,” Abed stated evenly and Annie’s eyes widened. “Really, there is only one person who Annie wants to go with her, and ultimately it’s the only person who will be invited.” Abed’s eyes swept to his left and Jeff coughed loudly.
“I’m going to go put five dollars in the claw machine,” Jeff announced acerbically as he rose from the booth and stalked off.
“Abed,” Annie scolded after a minute‘s awkward silence. “You have no way of knowing that.”
“Oh please, Annie.” Britta snickered openly before covering her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry, but it is pretty obvious that if you were going to ask somebody to go with you, it would be Jeff.”
“Uh, on what planet?” Annie hissed.
Britta rolled her eyes. “Uh, on the same one where the two of you were having some sort of secret magical love affair all year?”
Annie felt her stomach tighten. “No. That was you,” she answered dourly.
The blonde’s expression changed instantly, regret flooding her emotions. “Annie, I didn’t mean to…” She trailed off when Jeff flopped back into the booth unceremoniously. “What happened to the claw game?”
“Garrett is hogging it,” Jeff pouted without making eye contact with anyone. He pulled his phone out and began to play with it.
“Jeff, have you ever been the Europe?” Abed asked, still not letting it go.
“Uh, yeah.” Jeff wouldn’t look up form his screen. Annie clenched her jaw. “I think I was maybe twenty?”
“That was a long time ago,” Britta cracked to a spontaneous round of indifference. Jeff still wouldn’t look up from his screen.
“You better decide fast,” Jeff stated in Annie’s direction as he turned his phone around to show her. “It’s all over Twitter.” Annie sighed and leaned forward to look at the small screen before turning around with drawn eyebrows.
“Starburns!” she chastised with a shake of the head.
“My name is Alex,” he answered slowly, as if he was making a very good point. Annie turned back around, her hair swishing behind her.
Annie watched Britta carefully eat her salad. She honestly had no idea who she should take. Jeff made a good point when he said Britta would probably leave her high and dry, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t be fun. Troy was goofy enough that he would make things interesting. Shirley would embrace the relaxing nature of it, as well as the shopping. Abed would insist on acting out every Bond chase scene that had ever happened. And Jeff…
Jeff was the person she would most want to take. He was fun, but still acted like a grown up. He knew how to use his charms to his advantage, which would mean her advantage. He was tall and could get things off of high shelves for her. There was just the little problem of her attraction to him that was a hindrance now. Even if she was just asking as a friend, Jeff would never take it that way. So convinced was he that she…wanted him that he would never agree to go along with it, even for a free trip to Europe.
“Do you speak any foreign languages?” Abed was now asking Jeff, who rolled his eyes before lifting his face to meet Abed’s gaze.
“Pig Latin,” he answered in a clipped tone. “Oo-yay?”
“There’s a cute guy in my computer science class,” Annie mused out loud, ignoring the two men at the table. “I wonder how he would feel about Italy.”
“Skinny Jason Segal?” Abed asked without missing a beat. “He’s gay.”
“And his boyfriend is a bitch,” Britta added with a knowing nod. Annie frowned.
“Well, then I’m back to square one.” She leaned forward and took a sip from her water glass.
“Jeff, do you like spaghetti?” Abed asked after a moment’s silence.
“Abed,” Jeff intoned, looking up from his phone. “Let me save you some time here-”
“No, let me save you some time here, Jeff!” Annie narrowed her eyes at him angrily. Jeff froze, his eyes widening to a comical degree “I have absolutely no intention of asking you to come to Europe with me, okay?” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“Thank God,” Britta groaned out, relief clear in her voice. “I was so worried you really did want to go with him.”
“She does,” Abed noted with a quick glance toward Jeff. “I’ve seen enough television and movies to know that that is where the story is here.”
“This isn’t a movie, Abed.” Annie frowned at him. “What if I was going to ask you, huh?”
Abed shook his head. “Annie, please. You’re really smothering me.”
“Okay,” Jeff snapped, glancing between the two of them. “Seriously, what is with you two?”
Annie sputtered wordlessly, trying to think of something to say to him as his blue eyes bore into her. “Oh, Annie and I made out,” Abed announced before taking another bite of waffle.
“What?” Britta tittered incredulously, looking over at Annie with wide eyes. “You did?” She looked over at Abed quickly before meeting Annie’s eye again. “Way to go, Annie.”
Annie smiled slightly in return before catching Jeff’s expression. His eyebrows were furrowed in what was clearly annoyance. “You kissed Abed?” he hissed in an accusatory tone.
“Technically, I kissed her I think,” Abed said through a mouthful off waffle.
“It was mutual,” Annie defended with a nod to Abed. He shrugged. She slowly brought her gaze back to Jeff unsurely. His eyes were hard and cold. “He was Han,” she said reluctantly.
“It stands to reason that it would happen,” Abed said. “Annie had a lot of pent of sexual tension inside of her that needed to be let out.” He stopped to chew. “Jeff effectively took himself out of the running by claiming that anything between he and Annie was fabricated in her own mind and Black Rider had Coldplay tickets.” With that, he devoted his full attention to his plate again.
“Was it awesome?” Britta asked with a waggle of her eyebrows.
“Britta,” Jeff growled. “Shut up.”
“You shut up,” she shot back.
“Both of you shut up,” Annie stated, drawing shocked expressions from both of them. “What happens between Abed and I is between us.” She shot him an imploring look.
“I asked earlier and you said it was nothing,” Jeff said, completely ignoring everything she’d just said.
Annie felt something hot coil in her stomach and leveled him with a glare that could freeze water. “Earlier? Was that when you accosted me in the girls’ locker room while I was showering?”
Jeff’s eyes doubled in size and his body stilled completely for a full three seconds. “Whoa,” Britta breathed out. “Dude, that is so creepy.”
“Pretty creepy,” Abed agreed.
“That was not…” Jeff started, but trailed off with a groan. He looked at Annie beseechingly. “Would you tell them that nothing weird happened?”
Game. Set. Match. “You mean, like you walking in on me naked?” She smiled as sweetly as she could, given the horrible blush that was staining her cheeks.
Alex dropped into the booth next to Jeff and turned to address him. “How was it?” he asked in a stage whisper. “Perky?” Jeff put his hand over Starburns’s face and pushed him back out of the booth before turning a glare back on Annie.
“You’re mad that I lied to you, Jeff?” she asked icily. “Kind of like the way you were lying all year?” His face paled and his jaw slackened.
“Annie, me and Jeff was not that big of a deal.” Britta was rubbing her arm now. “It didn’t matter to either of us at all.”
But Annie wouldn’t take her eyes off of Jeff’s blank face.
“That’s not what I’m talking about.”
Spoilers: Through 'For A Few Paintballs More'
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Dan Harmon owns all of it.
Summary: How Jeff & Annie Spend Their Summer Vacation
AN: Annie's POV again.
Annie pulled the door open with a hard tug and walked slowly into the restaurant. Her brain was trying so hard to wrap around all the information she’d just been given that she was worried about it over-heating and shutting down. She continued, zombie-like, through the crowded restaurant. The restaurant that was filled with her Greendale classmates celebrating their victory. Everyone but the person who had actually won for them.
Pierce.
She dropped heavily into the booth next to Britta, causing the blonde to bounce slightly, turning wide eyes on Annie. “Annie, what-” She stopped when she took in the expression on Annie’s face and the younger woman felt a small cold hand drop onto hers. “Annie, what’s wrong?”
Annie shook her head, not trusting her voice to say anything at the moment. Her eyes moved without her permission to Jeff’s face. He was staring at her with narrowed eyes, concern in his countenance. Annie shook it off quickly. Of course he seemed concerned. She’d just shuffled in without speaking.
“What did Pierce say?” Abed asked, turning questioning eyes on Annie and she met his gaze. His eyes changed for a second in a way that Annie couldn’t pinpoint and then he was chewing his waffles again.
“He…” Annie shook her head, running the words over in her own mind before saying them aloud. When they hit her, she felt a crazy giggle bubble up from her stomach and then the brunette was swallowing it back down, trying to adopt the same somber face she’d had a minute earlier. The idea was absurd really. But it was real. “He gave me a free trip to Italy.”
“What?” Jeff was the first to say, his voice going up an octave. His eyebrows rose incredulously.
Britta turned her head toward Annie. “Seriously, Annie?”
Annie felt herself nod quickly before meeting Abed’s gaze again. He nodded slightly, as if this all made perfect sense to him. At least it made sense to someone.
She would need to buy an outlet adapter for her hair dryer.
And get a passport.
“No he didn’t,” Jeff announced before picking at his egg whites.
Annie frowned at him. “Yes, he did.” With a flourish, she pulled the tickets out of the borrowed basketball shorts she was wearing and slapped them onto the table.
Jeff pulled them toward him and flipped one open to stare at it. Annie glowered in silence, waiting for a response from him. She was rewarded three seconds later when Jeff’s attention turned back to her. “So, you’re going to Europe with Pierce? You kids have a good time.”
“Ew,” Annie noted, wrinkling her nose. “Jeff, don’t be gross.” She pulled the tickets back quickly. “He said that despite how he feels about all of us as a group, he still thinks I’m a good kid and…I deserve to be a kid.” At this, she shot Jeff a pointed look which he deflected easily.
“So, what’s the catch?” he asked.
Annie huffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Come on, Annie.” Britta was facing Annie, but kept her eyes on Jeff. “It seems a little strange that after a year of being an irredeemable jerk that he would up and give you two plane tickets to Europe, no strings attached.”
Annie stilled and thought back to her conversation with the older man that had only happened and hour earlier. When she’d arrived at Hawthorne Manor, she was overwhelmed. She’d never been there before, only heard tales of the extravagance that Pierce and Troy lived in. Troy nervously opened the front door and Annie could tell from his body language that he was relieved his stuff wasn’t in boxes by the front door. Pierce had stepped out into the foyer, smoking jacket tied around his waist and a glass of scotch in his hand and greeted them warmly for someone who had told them to go take a flying leap not an hour earlier. He’d wasted almost no time in announcing to Annie that he had something for her and had handed the tickets to her with no fanfare. He had a house outside Rome that she was free to live in. He was rattling off names of local vineyards and bakeries before Annie had even realized what was really happening.
“Or maybe he’s a genuinely good person who just wants people to like him,” Annie countered with a severe look from Jeff to Britta, who had the good grace to look chagrined. She straightened primly before running a hand over her finally dry hair. “He said it was an early birthday present and that I should feel free to take whomever I want.”
Jeff exhaled at that through his mouth, re-grouping. “Well,” he finally said. “This seems like a good safe idea.”
“What happened to Shirley?” Annie asked, trying to sideline the conversation.
“She bailed,” Abed answered. “Said she needed to pump again.”
“Who are you going to take?” Britta asked with a shudder.
“What?” Jeff asked, shooting Britta a derisive look. “You are not going along with this.”
Britta shrugged. “They appear to be real plane tickets.” Annie watched the two argue as if she really was their child who was asking to go to Europe for the summer. The thought made her nauseas. “And we’ll look up his address before hand and make sure there’s really a house there.” Britta smiled at Annie. “She should be allowed to have a little fun.” Annie returned the smile with a wavering one of her own, trying not to focus on the implication that Britta wanted her out of the country. “You’ll have a blast, Annie. And, if you’re looking for a traveling companion, I have been to Europe and know my way around.”
“Amsterdam doesn’t count,” Jeff said, his voice getting an edge to it that made Annie nervous. “And you”, he directed his statement toward Annie, “can’t seriously be considering going to Italy with a woman who will desert you the minute she meets a Rastafarian who invites her back to the hemp-filled hostel where he‘s staying.” Annie frowned before looking over at Britta who in turn was glaring at Jeff. “Am I going to have to put up with everyone making plays for this extra ticket now like this is ‘Saved By The Bell’?”
“Annie,” Leonard said as he approached their table. “Hear you’re going to Italy. Have I ever mentioned I speak Italian?” He waggled his eyebrows at her and Annie grimaced over at Abed.
“It doesn’t matter who asks for the second ticket,” Abed stated evenly and Annie’s eyes widened. “Really, there is only one person who Annie wants to go with her, and ultimately it’s the only person who will be invited.” Abed’s eyes swept to his left and Jeff coughed loudly.
“I’m going to go put five dollars in the claw machine,” Jeff announced acerbically as he rose from the booth and stalked off.
“Abed,” Annie scolded after a minute‘s awkward silence. “You have no way of knowing that.”
“Oh please, Annie.” Britta snickered openly before covering her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry, but it is pretty obvious that if you were going to ask somebody to go with you, it would be Jeff.”
“Uh, on what planet?” Annie hissed.
Britta rolled her eyes. “Uh, on the same one where the two of you were having some sort of secret magical love affair all year?”
Annie felt her stomach tighten. “No. That was you,” she answered dourly.
The blonde’s expression changed instantly, regret flooding her emotions. “Annie, I didn’t mean to…” She trailed off when Jeff flopped back into the booth unceremoniously. “What happened to the claw game?”
“Garrett is hogging it,” Jeff pouted without making eye contact with anyone. He pulled his phone out and began to play with it.
“Jeff, have you ever been the Europe?” Abed asked, still not letting it go.
“Uh, yeah.” Jeff wouldn’t look up form his screen. Annie clenched her jaw. “I think I was maybe twenty?”
“That was a long time ago,” Britta cracked to a spontaneous round of indifference. Jeff still wouldn’t look up from his screen.
“You better decide fast,” Jeff stated in Annie’s direction as he turned his phone around to show her. “It’s all over Twitter.” Annie sighed and leaned forward to look at the small screen before turning around with drawn eyebrows.
“Starburns!” she chastised with a shake of the head.
“My name is Alex,” he answered slowly, as if he was making a very good point. Annie turned back around, her hair swishing behind her.
Annie watched Britta carefully eat her salad. She honestly had no idea who she should take. Jeff made a good point when he said Britta would probably leave her high and dry, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t be fun. Troy was goofy enough that he would make things interesting. Shirley would embrace the relaxing nature of it, as well as the shopping. Abed would insist on acting out every Bond chase scene that had ever happened. And Jeff…
Jeff was the person she would most want to take. He was fun, but still acted like a grown up. He knew how to use his charms to his advantage, which would mean her advantage. He was tall and could get things off of high shelves for her. There was just the little problem of her attraction to him that was a hindrance now. Even if she was just asking as a friend, Jeff would never take it that way. So convinced was he that she…wanted him that he would never agree to go along with it, even for a free trip to Europe.
“Do you speak any foreign languages?” Abed was now asking Jeff, who rolled his eyes before lifting his face to meet Abed’s gaze.
“Pig Latin,” he answered in a clipped tone. “Oo-yay?”
“There’s a cute guy in my computer science class,” Annie mused out loud, ignoring the two men at the table. “I wonder how he would feel about Italy.”
“Skinny Jason Segal?” Abed asked without missing a beat. “He’s gay.”
“And his boyfriend is a bitch,” Britta added with a knowing nod. Annie frowned.
“Well, then I’m back to square one.” She leaned forward and took a sip from her water glass.
“Jeff, do you like spaghetti?” Abed asked after a moment’s silence.
“Abed,” Jeff intoned, looking up from his phone. “Let me save you some time here-”
“No, let me save you some time here, Jeff!” Annie narrowed her eyes at him angrily. Jeff froze, his eyes widening to a comical degree “I have absolutely no intention of asking you to come to Europe with me, okay?” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“Thank God,” Britta groaned out, relief clear in her voice. “I was so worried you really did want to go with him.”
“She does,” Abed noted with a quick glance toward Jeff. “I’ve seen enough television and movies to know that that is where the story is here.”
“This isn’t a movie, Abed.” Annie frowned at him. “What if I was going to ask you, huh?”
Abed shook his head. “Annie, please. You’re really smothering me.”
“Okay,” Jeff snapped, glancing between the two of them. “Seriously, what is with you two?”
Annie sputtered wordlessly, trying to think of something to say to him as his blue eyes bore into her. “Oh, Annie and I made out,” Abed announced before taking another bite of waffle.
“What?” Britta tittered incredulously, looking over at Annie with wide eyes. “You did?” She looked over at Abed quickly before meeting Annie’s eye again. “Way to go, Annie.”
Annie smiled slightly in return before catching Jeff’s expression. His eyebrows were furrowed in what was clearly annoyance. “You kissed Abed?” he hissed in an accusatory tone.
“Technically, I kissed her I think,” Abed said through a mouthful off waffle.
“It was mutual,” Annie defended with a nod to Abed. He shrugged. She slowly brought her gaze back to Jeff unsurely. His eyes were hard and cold. “He was Han,” she said reluctantly.
“It stands to reason that it would happen,” Abed said. “Annie had a lot of pent of sexual tension inside of her that needed to be let out.” He stopped to chew. “Jeff effectively took himself out of the running by claiming that anything between he and Annie was fabricated in her own mind and Black Rider had Coldplay tickets.” With that, he devoted his full attention to his plate again.
“Was it awesome?” Britta asked with a waggle of her eyebrows.
“Britta,” Jeff growled. “Shut up.”
“You shut up,” she shot back.
“Both of you shut up,” Annie stated, drawing shocked expressions from both of them. “What happens between Abed and I is between us.” She shot him an imploring look.
“I asked earlier and you said it was nothing,” Jeff said, completely ignoring everything she’d just said.
Annie felt something hot coil in her stomach and leveled him with a glare that could freeze water. “Earlier? Was that when you accosted me in the girls’ locker room while I was showering?”
Jeff’s eyes doubled in size and his body stilled completely for a full three seconds. “Whoa,” Britta breathed out. “Dude, that is so creepy.”
“Pretty creepy,” Abed agreed.
“That was not…” Jeff started, but trailed off with a groan. He looked at Annie beseechingly. “Would you tell them that nothing weird happened?”
Game. Set. Match. “You mean, like you walking in on me naked?” She smiled as sweetly as she could, given the horrible blush that was staining her cheeks.
Alex dropped into the booth next to Jeff and turned to address him. “How was it?” he asked in a stage whisper. “Perky?” Jeff put his hand over Starburns’s face and pushed him back out of the booth before turning a glare back on Annie.
“You’re mad that I lied to you, Jeff?” she asked icily. “Kind of like the way you were lying all year?” His face paled and his jaw slackened.
“Annie, me and Jeff was not that big of a deal.” Britta was rubbing her arm now. “It didn’t matter to either of us at all.”
But Annie wouldn’t take her eyes off of Jeff’s blank face.
“That’s not what I’m talking about.”