(no subject)
I'm dividing this entry into three parts. That way, you can select what type of subject matter you are in the mood to read at the moment. Or you can scroll past the whole thing no problem! Yay! So let's go.
THE GOOD
First we'll do the part that I always tend to gloss over...re-cap the fun part. Going down to L.A. definitely definitely turned out to be a good idea, and I only have Steph to thank for convincing me to stop panicking and to just go. Party Monster was amazing. Even despite all the stressing over an outfit and makeup and all that, when I heard the Money.Success.Fame.Glamour. lyrics blasting at full volume in a room full of gorgeous {well, if you squinted a little...maybe colorful would have been a better word choice}....anyway that moment gave me chills. I accidentallly got into the bar area...and made the questionable decision to "celebrate" with a double shot of jager, and a hypnotic and sprite as a chaser. A significant portion of my night was spent hanging all over Adam Absinthe...which was crazy....I have these random flash memories of him leading me by the hand through the crowd to go find Stevie. My hazy attacking of the boy got some negative reaction with some of his girl followers. This lead to a tug of war with the midget one in which she declared that she didn't share...and I told her I wasn't trying to share haha. And the one with the mullet actually grabbing me by the hair in an effort to pull me off of him! and later telling me to not speak to her or talk to her...oh sadness...like that's going to ruin my night...:P. I was so *ahem* inebriated, that all I was like was....people are mad at me for being the special one...neeeeaaat. HAHAHA...yeah that was sad. Hm...Alexis, Andy, Danielle, Mandroid?, Janie, Nelson, Malice...hm...that's all I got for now...those were some of the people whose names I was asking and fighting to remember. We ended up at some diner..I got a tuna melt and fries...it didn't taste very good...but I learned a new term. Fabu-more...who wants to be fabu-less?...best line EVER! Steph drove home. I'm still trying to decide if I will message Adam and ask if he will "design" me...I'm thinkin about it.. :]
The following afternoon was meeting T.C. and lunch with her, Steph and Sarah. The atmosphere of the restaurant was really nice, conversation was fun...figuring out the bill was amusing...so that was good times. The only stress was the pressure to leave to get Andrea in time for the Dreaming, with turned into something frustrating...so it goes into the next section.
We have to skip quite a few hours now until around 6 a.m. the next morning at which point me and Steph had a conversation was probably nothing like this, but here for my own amusement is a dramatization of what it could have gone like.
Steph and Rachel sit on the floor. Rachel is handcuffed to Emo, the Molester Kid, who is sleeping on her shoulder.
Rachel: We should go to the beach while I'm here.
Steph: We should. We should go now.
Rachel: Hm..why don't we go now? Is there anything to stop us?
Steph and Rachel discuss pro's and con's
Steph and Rachel: Yeah...let's go sleep on the beach! *change clothes and leave*
After driving around half of southern California; getting lost; getting Starbucks; feeding the cute birdies; going to the pet store; looking at the lizards, snakes, frogs, hermit crabs, the AWESOME chincilla[s], the hampster in the wheel, the birdies, and other assorted animals; not buying a camera at the drug store; we finally made our way to the beach on the most scenic route ever with our new friend Hello Kittie. The beach was probably my favorite part of the trip. High lights included: trying on sunglasses, watching the chubby kid and the other one play bad volley ball, corndogs and CHEESE on a stick...with damn good lemonade, the pigeon with the gimpy foot, sitting on swings, watching the largest amount of overachieving kids ever in one place, rolling around in the sand in the most literal sense, burying ourselves in sand, Steph ever-so-smoothly getting her hose off without flashing anyone, playing on those gymnast rings {I sucked at those}, watching the bad parents almost lose their baby girl in the ocean, getting "Little Bill" buckets of water, trying to find those little clams in the tide, getting splashed in the process, playing in the waves, and finally saying screw it, leading to Steph and I wading in up to our waists in the water...while wearing jeans skirts no less, and taking pictures in those nifty photobooths. It was one of those impromptu days that are always just really cool cuz you can't plan them.
That night was "Girls Night" see next section. The next night was the Rainbow, which I got into solely due to Sarah and Steph's skillz. We met the 76 year old man who has been coming there for 35+ years...holy crap..he was cool though. Not really too much with the celebrity spotting. Met Skyla, think I saw one of the members of Insect but could never confirm that, saw Matt from 30STM as we were leaving, met Sarah's cool Jay-Gordon's-brother look alike, Sebastian Bach, and oh...I saw Tara Ivy ahhaha...yay!!! or something.
Next night was hm..hmmm...oh Sunday...Rachel was an ass night...next category please.
Monday was just we-are-all exhausted lets eat Weinerschnitzel and laugh night...that was good times too...even though I felt terrible about the night before.
So, it was really fun trip...I wish I could have stayed longer, but it's probably a good thing I couldn't because now there is no hassle for anyone having to get into 21+ places. But I'm really really grateful for Sarah letting someone she had never met sleep on her floor for a week, and to Steph for letting me tag along on her vacation...some things you there just isn't a word strong enough to express how thankful you can be for something.
<3
THE BAD
I don't even know how much I want to get into the low points of things, but I need to some just for processing purposes. The major one was Sunday. I'm starting to notice a pattern with myself...I drink too much when things aren't going well. I haven't figured out if it's because I'm trying to black out, blank out, prove something, show off?...I don't know...but it comes up right after something not-so-good happens...then I have these incidents...and this is another example. The three days before had been sort of sketchy and some stuff happened that had upset me pretty deeply at moments...that night I had two cups of vodka...I hadn't eaten in a long time...and I chugged them both. I was only aware for about 45 minutes after that...after we got in line for Beat It...I blacked out...and the stories I got back about my performance were horrific...when you have to be carried across the street by a stranger, roll under a car and refuse to come out, and wake up in the back seat of your car covered in vomit...it's time to ask yourself...what the hell are you doing?! I just wanted to cry the whole next afternoon thinking about the mess that I had put everyone through...and you can't take things like that back. Ok so my catch phrase while drunk is "I'm sorry" and I can apologize the next day...but you can't make up for it. Since this is the 3rd or 4th time this has happened since May, I'm honestly considering not drinking anymore. I know everyone says that after they have a really bad night, or a particularly bad hangover, but this goes a little deeper than that. Nothing good has ever come from me drinking. I've physically hurt my friends, been a pain in the ass everytime, I hate the taste of it, and for whatever reason, I don't seem to be able to drink just a little for a buzz, I ALWAYS overdo it and almost always black out, because I just take it that damn far. That's wrong...and it's disrespectful to the people I'm with..and I don't want to do that to anyone anymore. Ok, so nothing really bad has happened yet...why am I doing this at all? It's not like i can't be social without it...I don't know I'm just furious at myself for my actions, and I don't want it to become this cycle where I do things and then apologize for them, but don't stop...it seems to me that if I'm really sorry, I'll prove it by not doing it ever again. But this isn't a declaration of going sXe...don't call me a hypocrite if I drink again...yet. But I really am seriously tossing it around as a possibility.
The whole Andrea getting to and from thing actually doesn't need to be discussed. I've already worked through most of it. Cried about it a few times, but I think I've pretty much come to terms with the situation...so why re-hash something that's over? Let's not.
The only other sad thing was that I somehow managed to not get a single picture with Steph :[...I really am disppointed about that.
THE CONFUSING?
SO this started out as a section...and it got so it was even long for it's own entry, so I couldn't possibly stick it here...but there's a book on why I'm confused in my next entry. Haha... RachelTalksTooMuch.com
THE GOOD
First we'll do the part that I always tend to gloss over...re-cap the fun part. Going down to L.A. definitely definitely turned out to be a good idea, and I only have Steph to thank for convincing me to stop panicking and to just go. Party Monster was amazing. Even despite all the stressing over an outfit and makeup and all that, when I heard the Money.Success.Fame.Glamour. lyrics blasting at full volume in a room full of gorgeous {well, if you squinted a little...maybe colorful would have been a better word choice}....anyway that moment gave me chills. I accidentallly got into the bar area...and made the questionable decision to "celebrate" with a double shot of jager, and a hypnotic and sprite as a chaser. A significant portion of my night was spent hanging all over Adam Absinthe...which was crazy....I have these random flash memories of him leading me by the hand through the crowd to go find Stevie. My hazy attacking of the boy got some negative reaction with some of his girl followers. This lead to a tug of war with the midget one in which she declared that she didn't share...and I told her I wasn't trying to share haha. And the one with the mullet actually grabbing me by the hair in an effort to pull me off of him! and later telling me to not speak to her or talk to her...oh sadness...like that's going to ruin my night...:P. I was so *ahem* inebriated, that all I was like was....people are mad at me for being the special one...neeeeaaat. HAHAHA...yeah that was sad. Hm...Alexis, Andy, Danielle, Mandroid?, Janie, Nelson, Malice...hm...that's all I got for now...those were some of the people whose names I was asking and fighting to remember. We ended up at some diner..I got a tuna melt and fries...it didn't taste very good...but I learned a new term. Fabu-more...who wants to be fabu-less?...best line EVER! Steph drove home. I'm still trying to decide if I will message Adam and ask if he will "design" me...I'm thinkin about it.. :]
The following afternoon was meeting T.C. and lunch with her, Steph and Sarah. The atmosphere of the restaurant was really nice, conversation was fun...figuring out the bill was amusing...so that was good times. The only stress was the pressure to leave to get Andrea in time for the Dreaming, with turned into something frustrating...so it goes into the next section.
We have to skip quite a few hours now until around 6 a.m. the next morning at which point me and Steph had a conversation was probably nothing like this, but here for my own amusement is a dramatization of what it could have gone like.
Steph and Rachel sit on the floor. Rachel is handcuffed to Emo, the Molester Kid, who is sleeping on her shoulder.
Rachel: We should go to the beach while I'm here.
Steph: We should. We should go now.
Rachel: Hm..why don't we go now? Is there anything to stop us?
Steph and Rachel discuss pro's and con's
Steph and Rachel: Yeah...let's go sleep on the beach! *change clothes and leave*
After driving around half of southern California; getting lost; getting Starbucks; feeding the cute birdies; going to the pet store; looking at the lizards, snakes, frogs, hermit crabs, the AWESOME chincilla[s], the hampster in the wheel, the birdies, and other assorted animals; not buying a camera at the drug store; we finally made our way to the beach on the most scenic route ever with our new friend Hello Kittie. The beach was probably my favorite part of the trip. High lights included: trying on sunglasses, watching the chubby kid and the other one play bad volley ball, corndogs and CHEESE on a stick...with damn good lemonade, the pigeon with the gimpy foot, sitting on swings, watching the largest amount of overachieving kids ever in one place, rolling around in the sand in the most literal sense, burying ourselves in sand, Steph ever-so-smoothly getting her hose off without flashing anyone, playing on those gymnast rings {I sucked at those}, watching the bad parents almost lose their baby girl in the ocean, getting "Little Bill" buckets of water, trying to find those little clams in the tide, getting splashed in the process, playing in the waves, and finally saying screw it, leading to Steph and I wading in up to our waists in the water...while wearing jeans skirts no less, and taking pictures in those nifty photobooths. It was one of those impromptu days that are always just really cool cuz you can't plan them.
That night was "Girls Night" see next section. The next night was the Rainbow, which I got into solely due to Sarah and Steph's skillz. We met the 76 year old man who has been coming there for 35+ years...holy crap..he was cool though. Not really too much with the celebrity spotting. Met Skyla, think I saw one of the members of Insect but could never confirm that, saw Matt from 30STM as we were leaving, met Sarah's cool Jay-Gordon's-brother look alike, Sebastian Bach, and oh...I saw Tara Ivy ahhaha...yay!!! or something.
Next night was hm..hmmm...oh Sunday...Rachel was an ass night...next category please.
Monday was just we-are-all exhausted lets eat Weinerschnitzel and laugh night...that was good times too...even though I felt terrible about the night before.
So, it was really fun trip...I wish I could have stayed longer, but it's probably a good thing I couldn't because now there is no hassle for anyone having to get into 21+ places. But I'm really really grateful for Sarah letting someone she had never met sleep on her floor for a week, and to Steph for letting me tag along on her vacation...some things you there just isn't a word strong enough to express how thankful you can be for something.
<3
THE BAD
I don't even know how much I want to get into the low points of things, but I need to some just for processing purposes. The major one was Sunday. I'm starting to notice a pattern with myself...I drink too much when things aren't going well. I haven't figured out if it's because I'm trying to black out, blank out, prove something, show off?...I don't know...but it comes up right after something not-so-good happens...then I have these incidents...and this is another example. The three days before had been sort of sketchy and some stuff happened that had upset me pretty deeply at moments...that night I had two cups of vodka...I hadn't eaten in a long time...and I chugged them both. I was only aware for about 45 minutes after that...after we got in line for Beat It...I blacked out...and the stories I got back about my performance were horrific...when you have to be carried across the street by a stranger, roll under a car and refuse to come out, and wake up in the back seat of your car covered in vomit...it's time to ask yourself...what the hell are you doing?! I just wanted to cry the whole next afternoon thinking about the mess that I had put everyone through...and you can't take things like that back. Ok so my catch phrase while drunk is "I'm sorry" and I can apologize the next day...but you can't make up for it. Since this is the 3rd or 4th time this has happened since May, I'm honestly considering not drinking anymore. I know everyone says that after they have a really bad night, or a particularly bad hangover, but this goes a little deeper than that. Nothing good has ever come from me drinking. I've physically hurt my friends, been a pain in the ass everytime, I hate the taste of it, and for whatever reason, I don't seem to be able to drink just a little for a buzz, I ALWAYS overdo it and almost always black out, because I just take it that damn far. That's wrong...and it's disrespectful to the people I'm with..and I don't want to do that to anyone anymore. Ok, so nothing really bad has happened yet...why am I doing this at all? It's not like i can't be social without it...I don't know I'm just furious at myself for my actions, and I don't want it to become this cycle where I do things and then apologize for them, but don't stop...it seems to me that if I'm really sorry, I'll prove it by not doing it ever again. But this isn't a declaration of going sXe...don't call me a hypocrite if I drink again...yet. But I really am seriously tossing it around as a possibility.
The whole Andrea getting to and from thing actually doesn't need to be discussed. I've already worked through most of it. Cried about it a few times, but I think I've pretty much come to terms with the situation...so why re-hash something that's over? Let's not.
The only other sad thing was that I somehow managed to not get a single picture with Steph :[...I really am disppointed about that.
THE CONFUSING?
SO this started out as a section...and it got so it was even long for it's own entry, so I couldn't possibly stick it here...but there's a book on why I'm confused in my next entry. Haha... RachelTalksTooMuch.com