and this one!!
Jack and the Beanstalk (the Hentai version)
Cast:
Jack: Drizzt
Jack's Mom: Lady Harken
Cow: Pegucci
Big Boobed Merchant: Neco
Giant's Wife: Nimil
The Giant: Tril
Me: Now before we begin.... *spares love gas all around teh cast members*. There, perhaps they will be more cooperative now. *clears throat* Now, we begin in a small town somewhere in a rural area way back in the day when cars and tv and porno mags were not yet invented. Now Jack had just hit puberty and his hormones where a bit overactive. Basically, a stiff wind would perk his little winkie right up. *waves arm and the barn appears with the small house right next to it* Now Jack likes to spend a lot of time in the barn, sucking away at the cows titties while humping nothing but air.
Drizzt: I'm not doing that to.. that. *looks over at the Pegucci "cow" who is luridly rubbing his man boobies*
Me: Yes you are!!!! Otherwise I will have to tie you up and let Peg have his way with you. *motions to Peg who continues his vulgar gestures* It's your choice. *shrugs*
Drizzt: *shudders* Okay, but know that this is not of my free will. *walks over slowly to Peg and leans down taking a nipple in his mouth then gagging a bit before continuing*
Pegucci: Moo!
Me: Good boy! *continues with the story* Now Jack's mother knew her son was having some problems with his adjusting to his new found hormones, but she did not know the extent of it. Each day she went to milk the cow and each day she would find that the cow was dry. She didn't quite understand what was wrong with the cow until one day... *Lady Harken walks into the barn to catch Drizzt and Peg in action*
Lady Harken: *cracks her whip* You pervert! You disgust me! How could you do that to this poor boy!
Me: Uhm, Lady Harken, you are supposed to be mad at Drizzt not Peg.
Lady Harken: Ohhh. Well I just assumed that knowing Peg he was... well you know.
Me: Yeah I know. It's a little out of character but.. what the hell.
Lady Harken: *clears throat* You Pervert! I knew you were doing something to the cow, you horny little bastard! She... he... it hasn't had milk for us to drink in weeks! Now take the cow to town and sell it! We need food and I need a knew whip. This one is a little frayed at the ends. *looks at her whip adoringly then back to her son with a scowl* Go!!! *strikes him roughly on the back with the whip before leaving the barn*
Me: Well, poor Jack said his final goodbyes to the cow before heading off to town.
Drizzt: *heads towards town with the "cow" in tow* I will... miss you my dear.. friend.
Pegucci: Moo!
Me: Along the way Jack ran into this beautiful merchant with the biggest... melons he had ever seen. *Neco walks over to Jack with her.. melons showing quite nicely*
Drizzt: *drools*
Neco: Hello there little boy. Are you looking to sell your cow?
Drizzt: *drools*
Neco: I have some magic beans here that I could trade you for it. They will make all your dreams come true.
Drizzt: *stare*
Neco: *notices him eyeing her... melons* You like what you see? I tell you what, I will sweeten the deal for you a little and give you not only the magic beans but 10 minutes to do whatever you want to with these here tatas.
Drizzt: *suddenly finding his voice* It's a deal!
Me: So the merchant hands him the magic beans, which Jack promptly packets, then lowers her blouse and props herself on the bank beside of the road.
Neco: *does so*
Drizzt: *jumps on top of her and starts sucking on her melons while humping the air once more*
Me: Ten minutes later...
Neco: *pushes Drizzt off of her* Wow, that was pretty good but your time is regretably up. Have a nice time with those beans!
Me: And the merchant waves as she walks away with the cow in tow.
Pegucci: Moo...
Me: So Jack heads back home with a satisfied look on his face and the magic beans in his pocket. As Jack approaches the house, his mothers rushes out to greet him dressed in her best dominatrix outfit and holding her whip in hand.
Lady Harken: So how much did you get for him.. her.. it?
Drizzt: Well I... *looks down at the ground and shuffles his feet*
Lady Harken: Yes? *slaps the whip against her palm impatiently*
Drizzt: Well I traded it for these magic beans. *holds out his hand*
Lady Harken: *eyes grow red* You what?!?!?
Drizzt: Please don't hurt me Lady Hark.. I mean, Mother. The girl said that these would make all our wishes come true.
Lady Harken: Oh, did she? Well how nice. Meanwhile I am here with a whip that isn't worth a SHIT!!! Oh yeah, and we need food too.. but my whip!!!!
Me: After giving Jack a rather fiendish whipping, his mother sent him to his room and threw the beans out the kitchen window before retiring to her torture chamber in the basement. The next morning, Jack awoke to find a giant beanstalk outside of his window. He looked out but could not see the top. His mother was still weary from her late night of torturing her husband, and had not yet left her chambers. Jack's curiousity at last got the best of him and he began to climb.
Drizzt: *starts climbing* Guardians, how tall is this thing?
Me: Shut up and climb. We are ready for the next scene.
Drizzt: Okay, don't be so pushy. *climbs more*
Me: At last, Jack reached the top of the beanstalk to find a large castle. He was small enough to slip under the crack in the door and venture inside. There he saw an extremely beautiful, and extremely large, woman resting on a sofa. She was practically naked! Jack climbed up beside of her and eyed her cautiously. Then he spotted the biggest Nipple he had ever seen. Well, at least he thought it was a nipple. It was kind of just dangling there amongst some folds of skin and a mound of fuzz. He climbed inside of the opening and inspected the nipple for a moment then decided to do with it what he did best. He began to suck on it.
Drizzt: *glares at Bobbie, then does so*
Me: The Giantess wakes suddenly with a strange sensation between her legs. She squirms a little trying to get away from the sensation before reaching down and trying to find the source. Her attempt being unsucessful, she lays back and enjoys herself.
Nimil: I am not doing that!
Me: Yes you are! Wtf is with all the insubordination?
Nimil: There is no way in ten thousand abyss's you are going to make me do that.
Me: Shut up and cooperate. *sprays Nimil with some love gas then shoots her with the RoFF patented LMG. The first thing that Nimil sees is Tril walking in the door*
Nimil: Oh Tril! I want you now! *moans*
Me: Ignore the Tril part, he's really the giant... her husband.
Tril: What the hell...
Me: *shoots Tril with the LMG as well*
Tril: Oh Nimil! You look so hot. I love you!
Nimil: Make love to me, Tril.
Tril: *walks over to Nimil and slowly and passionately makes love to her*
Me: I didn't wanna see that but.. oh well. On with the show. *clears throat* When the Giant reaches climax, his seed washes Jack out from inside of the Giantess cunt.
Tril: What the?
Drizzt: Ewww.. gross. This crap is sticky. What is this?
Me: You don't wanna know.
Drizzt: *glare* It better not... ewwww.. it is!!!
Me: Okay so the Giant and Giantess think that Jack is a baby and they raise him and everyone is happily ever after especially the Giantess cause she gets lovin from her husband and suckin from Jack.
Drizzt: You came on me!! You let him cum on me!! I am going to kill you all! *starts cahsing Nimil, Me and Tril around the stage*
Me: Oh crap! I didn't mean it! *runs offstage*
Tril: Bobbie! You are dead when I get ahold of you!
Nimil: Not if I catch her first!
Drizzt: I am going to rip her head off and eat it!!!
Me: *runs back onstage quickly* The End. *runs off again*
Cast:
Jack: Drizzt
Jack's Mom: Lady Harken
Cow: Pegucci
Big Boobed Merchant: Neco
Giant's Wife: Nimil
The Giant: Tril
Me: Now before we begin.... *spares love gas all around teh cast members*. There, perhaps they will be more cooperative now. *clears throat* Now, we begin in a small town somewhere in a rural area way back in the day when cars and tv and porno mags were not yet invented. Now Jack had just hit puberty and his hormones where a bit overactive. Basically, a stiff wind would perk his little winkie right up. *waves arm and the barn appears with the small house right next to it* Now Jack likes to spend a lot of time in the barn, sucking away at the cows titties while humping nothing but air.
Drizzt: I'm not doing that to.. that. *looks over at the Pegucci "cow" who is luridly rubbing his man boobies*
Me: Yes you are!!!! Otherwise I will have to tie you up and let Peg have his way with you. *motions to Peg who continues his vulgar gestures* It's your choice. *shrugs*
Drizzt: *shudders* Okay, but know that this is not of my free will. *walks over slowly to Peg and leans down taking a nipple in his mouth then gagging a bit before continuing*
Pegucci: Moo!
Me: Good boy! *continues with the story* Now Jack's mother knew her son was having some problems with his adjusting to his new found hormones, but she did not know the extent of it. Each day she went to milk the cow and each day she would find that the cow was dry. She didn't quite understand what was wrong with the cow until one day... *Lady Harken walks into the barn to catch Drizzt and Peg in action*
Lady Harken: *cracks her whip* You pervert! You disgust me! How could you do that to this poor boy!
Me: Uhm, Lady Harken, you are supposed to be mad at Drizzt not Peg.
Lady Harken: Ohhh. Well I just assumed that knowing Peg he was... well you know.
Me: Yeah I know. It's a little out of character but.. what the hell.
Lady Harken: *clears throat* You Pervert! I knew you were doing something to the cow, you horny little bastard! She... he... it hasn't had milk for us to drink in weeks! Now take the cow to town and sell it! We need food and I need a knew whip. This one is a little frayed at the ends. *looks at her whip adoringly then back to her son with a scowl* Go!!! *strikes him roughly on the back with the whip before leaving the barn*
Me: Well, poor Jack said his final goodbyes to the cow before heading off to town.
Drizzt: *heads towards town with the "cow" in tow* I will... miss you my dear.. friend.
Pegucci: Moo!
Me: Along the way Jack ran into this beautiful merchant with the biggest... melons he had ever seen. *Neco walks over to Jack with her.. melons showing quite nicely*
Drizzt: *drools*
Neco: Hello there little boy. Are you looking to sell your cow?
Drizzt: *drools*
Neco: I have some magic beans here that I could trade you for it. They will make all your dreams come true.
Drizzt: *stare*
Neco: *notices him eyeing her... melons* You like what you see? I tell you what, I will sweeten the deal for you a little and give you not only the magic beans but 10 minutes to do whatever you want to with these here tatas.
Drizzt: *suddenly finding his voice* It's a deal!
Me: So the merchant hands him the magic beans, which Jack promptly packets, then lowers her blouse and props herself on the bank beside of the road.
Neco: *does so*
Drizzt: *jumps on top of her and starts sucking on her melons while humping the air once more*
Me: Ten minutes later...
Neco: *pushes Drizzt off of her* Wow, that was pretty good but your time is regretably up. Have a nice time with those beans!
Me: And the merchant waves as she walks away with the cow in tow.
Pegucci: Moo...
Me: So Jack heads back home with a satisfied look on his face and the magic beans in his pocket. As Jack approaches the house, his mothers rushes out to greet him dressed in her best dominatrix outfit and holding her whip in hand.
Lady Harken: So how much did you get for him.. her.. it?
Drizzt: Well I... *looks down at the ground and shuffles his feet*
Lady Harken: Yes? *slaps the whip against her palm impatiently*
Drizzt: Well I traded it for these magic beans. *holds out his hand*
Lady Harken: *eyes grow red* You what?!?!?
Drizzt: Please don't hurt me Lady Hark.. I mean, Mother. The girl said that these would make all our wishes come true.
Lady Harken: Oh, did she? Well how nice. Meanwhile I am here with a whip that isn't worth a SHIT!!! Oh yeah, and we need food too.. but my whip!!!!
Me: After giving Jack a rather fiendish whipping, his mother sent him to his room and threw the beans out the kitchen window before retiring to her torture chamber in the basement. The next morning, Jack awoke to find a giant beanstalk outside of his window. He looked out but could not see the top. His mother was still weary from her late night of torturing her husband, and had not yet left her chambers. Jack's curiousity at last got the best of him and he began to climb.
Drizzt: *starts climbing* Guardians, how tall is this thing?
Me: Shut up and climb. We are ready for the next scene.
Drizzt: Okay, don't be so pushy. *climbs more*
Me: At last, Jack reached the top of the beanstalk to find a large castle. He was small enough to slip under the crack in the door and venture inside. There he saw an extremely beautiful, and extremely large, woman resting on a sofa. She was practically naked! Jack climbed up beside of her and eyed her cautiously. Then he spotted the biggest Nipple he had ever seen. Well, at least he thought it was a nipple. It was kind of just dangling there amongst some folds of skin and a mound of fuzz. He climbed inside of the opening and inspected the nipple for a moment then decided to do with it what he did best. He began to suck on it.
Drizzt: *glares at Bobbie, then does so*
Me: The Giantess wakes suddenly with a strange sensation between her legs. She squirms a little trying to get away from the sensation before reaching down and trying to find the source. Her attempt being unsucessful, she lays back and enjoys herself.
Nimil: I am not doing that!
Me: Yes you are! Wtf is with all the insubordination?
Nimil: There is no way in ten thousand abyss's you are going to make me do that.
Me: Shut up and cooperate. *sprays Nimil with some love gas then shoots her with the RoFF patented LMG. The first thing that Nimil sees is Tril walking in the door*
Nimil: Oh Tril! I want you now! *moans*
Me: Ignore the Tril part, he's really the giant... her husband.
Tril: What the hell...
Me: *shoots Tril with the LMG as well*
Tril: Oh Nimil! You look so hot. I love you!
Nimil: Make love to me, Tril.
Tril: *walks over to Nimil and slowly and passionately makes love to her*
Me: I didn't wanna see that but.. oh well. On with the show. *clears throat* When the Giant reaches climax, his seed washes Jack out from inside of the Giantess cunt.
Tril: What the?
Drizzt: Ewww.. gross. This crap is sticky. What is this?
Me: You don't wanna know.
Drizzt: *glare* It better not... ewwww.. it is!!!
Me: Okay so the Giant and Giantess think that Jack is a baby and they raise him and everyone is happily ever after especially the Giantess cause she gets lovin from her husband and suckin from Jack.
Drizzt: You came on me!! You let him cum on me!! I am going to kill you all! *starts cahsing Nimil, Me and Tril around the stage*
Me: Oh crap! I didn't mean it! *runs offstage*
Tril: Bobbie! You are dead when I get ahold of you!
Nimil: Not if I catch her first!
Drizzt: I am going to rip her head off and eat it!!!
Me: *runs back onstage quickly* The End. *runs off again*