A couple of you have commented on how you feel that I'm handling all of this so well, and I wanted to expand on that. To talk about how I've been feeling internally about my situation and my progress
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Independence is hard. I have *never* lived on my own but thanks to being raised by wolves I don't think I experienced a lot of solo anxiety. But as you know, women have to be twice as careful as men and that can be wearing.
But learning not to rely on others is hard and it's great you are doing it. Also, your Mom is fortunate to have you there be sure to enjoy your Mom as much as possible, there will never be anyone else like her in your life.
I don't know how 'long' I want to live on my own for...but I've always had the desire to have my own place and to do it on my own. I think the allure is probably more just to have my own space to spread all of my stuff out and have things the way "I" want them. Lol! But with that comes the bills and all else on your own, too.(bummer
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I think we all hold ourselves back in one way or another just to fit someone else into our lives and us into theirs. We need to find out who WE are before we can commit ourselves to another. Sadly I never learned that lesson myself. Look back through my journal and you’ll see what I mean. I’ve only read this one post of yours, but it resounds with such familiarity that it’s kinda scary. I, too, am on a quest for self-discovery. Maybe someday I will find the courage to sever my ties like you have. Be proud of what you’ve accomplished because you are a role model to others even though you may not know it. (That’s what I was told by someone.)
You are right...I believe we do that, too. I'm not certain that men do it as much as we women do, though. And I don't understand 'why' we do it...we each have so much more to offer but we hold so much back. I don't know if it's fear of rejection or just this ridiculous sense of what we feel will make the other person happy, etc. But it needs to stop
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No problem. I make mistakes like that all the time. I tried blaming my long fingernails, but now that they're short I have to suck it up adn blame it on human error. LOL
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But learning not to rely on others is hard and it's great you are doing it. Also, your Mom is fortunate to have you there be sure to enjoy your Mom as much as possible, there will never be anyone else like her in your life.
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*****HUGGS*****
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Sorry, I hate when I make errors like that.:/
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