Im very fortunate to have some supportive and loving friends. Most def my fav lesbians, my gay soulmates, and the few straight friends i still have- haha. Anyways i love them and im glad i have the support of friends. It helps.

CANCER. Thats all i can think about again and again and again. She went into the surgery with all the drs sayin we dont think u have cancer. We aren't lookin for cancer. All 4 off her different specialist and drs told her, the surgen told her its not cancer. Then he walks out to the waiting room and calmly tells me well we were wrong. Its ( Read more... )

So if you take a good luck at relationships- at life and what lasts...well truth is nothing does. No love last forever, no friendship lasts forever. So whats the point. Whats the fucking point. And thats the thing- the point is suppose to be love one another and helps others or whatever- who the fuck- they dont care about you and won't remember ( Read more... )

Well so i keep goin back in forth. Dr.s and therapist are contradicting each other my mind is goin back and forth i have no idea what exactly to do. The big debate is should i move back home or no... If i moved back home i would not live at home- god forsake that. I would kill myself. Its just what would be best for the time being. Im just ( Read more... )

So i guess im out on a new mission. That mission is to make better friends. I need friends with the same values as myself- or at least willing to respect my values. I guess i have to refine my list of what i consider or want in a friend. Sometimes i just feel so lonely. I want people who are good people. Im done with people who dont have ( Read more... )

Well i've been home for whatever 4 days or something and im never sure how i really feel about goin home. My mom asked me if i felt relieved to be home or stressed. And to think of it whenever i do come home i dont ever really relax. I feel so stressed out. Im tryin to see everyone and make everyone happy. My parents are pissed bc im spending ( Read more... )

Well last night was an interesting night. I decided to go to hackberry louisiana to stay with mr. beau david to break up my trip from the usual 8 hrs to 3 one night and 5 the next day. Well hmm lets see if i can account for my lovely evening with beau. I drank red bulls to stay awake so when i got there i was wired like i was drunk. Beau in ( Read more... )

Alright i am pretty patient but i have reached a limit. i found a DEAD ROACH in my kitchen this morning. When roaches die in your kitchen its REALLY BAD!!!! you normally find it bad when a roach is found- alive. Thats when you freak out- but no the disgustingness that is my kitchen has reached a new limit. THEY ARE NOW DEAD BC ITS SOO GROSS! ( Read more... )

I guess its just frustrating. Its tough. I mean i give to everyone- time after time after time i sit and i listen and i comfort. Do they ever think to ask how im doin. hows it goin for me? Why am i upset. No she NEVER thinks to ask. No one does. I want to become a heartless bitch so that when someone is upset- i dont give a damn- and when ( Read more... )

So this past weekend hasn't been that great. Friday night i sat on my ass and watched chick flick after chick flick and painted my recipe box. And that sentence alone makes me very sad. It sounds like i lead a silly lil sad life. Its not that bad i guess, i mean it is what it is. Last night was maybe even worse than that night. Not that ( Read more... )