Mixed Messages
It's been an interesting couple of weeks, in terms of hearing what others think of me.
I've gotten a higher-than-usual amount of compliments (well, that registered anyway). I've been called things like "Eloquent", and "Admirable", and "a Model Student".
This never fails to make me blink, because while I do think I can be eloquent, I rarely think the examples cited are eloquent of me. I am aware that I am admired, but I rarely think it's warranted. And dear gods, if I'm a Model Student, do I want to know what a real slacker looks like? *shrugs* Well, if you say so, folks, it can't hurt to have people think well of me, so I'll try not to argue the point.
However, I've also been told by multiple unrelated sources in the same day that the expression on my face at any given time makes people think I'm angry, disapproving, or otherwise negatively disposed towards them personally pretty much all the time. Which I guess is a roundabout way of telling me I'm intimidating.
I guess neither the "admired for charm, eloquence, and enthusiasm" nor the "intimidating" assessments are news, but I still find myself bemused. I never have figured out how not to be intimidating, since as far as I can tell, I'm most intimidating at the times when I am feeling the least inclined to intimidate people.
I don't get told I'm intimidating or whatever when I'm putting on my A-thor-i-tay pants and telling people where to go and how to get there. I get told such when I'm happy, enthusiastic, and interested in being inclusive - or else when I'm hyper-focused on something that has nothing to do with anybody outside my own head.
Or is that it? Is it a case of introverts being intimidating to extroverts because our inward-facing behavior is interpreted through outward-facing filters? In any case, what am I to do about it? What can I even do about it?
*sigh*
--Ember--
I've gotten a higher-than-usual amount of compliments (well, that registered anyway). I've been called things like "Eloquent", and "Admirable", and "a Model Student".
This never fails to make me blink, because while I do think I can be eloquent, I rarely think the examples cited are eloquent of me. I am aware that I am admired, but I rarely think it's warranted. And dear gods, if I'm a Model Student, do I want to know what a real slacker looks like? *shrugs* Well, if you say so, folks, it can't hurt to have people think well of me, so I'll try not to argue the point.
However, I've also been told by multiple unrelated sources in the same day that the expression on my face at any given time makes people think I'm angry, disapproving, or otherwise negatively disposed towards them personally pretty much all the time. Which I guess is a roundabout way of telling me I'm intimidating.
I guess neither the "admired for charm, eloquence, and enthusiasm" nor the "intimidating" assessments are news, but I still find myself bemused. I never have figured out how not to be intimidating, since as far as I can tell, I'm most intimidating at the times when I am feeling the least inclined to intimidate people.
I don't get told I'm intimidating or whatever when I'm putting on my A-thor-i-tay pants and telling people where to go and how to get there. I get told such when I'm happy, enthusiastic, and interested in being inclusive - or else when I'm hyper-focused on something that has nothing to do with anybody outside my own head.
Or is that it? Is it a case of introverts being intimidating to extroverts because our inward-facing behavior is interpreted through outward-facing filters? In any case, what am I to do about it? What can I even do about it?
*sigh*
--Ember--