Liveblogging the debates
7:01: Facebook? A debate based on a site that lets me throw a sheep at someone? After Youtube, I shouldn't be surprised.
7:02: Damn, no Kucinich or Gravel. At least we have the Ron Paul crazy.
7:03: Crap. Political commentary. *snore*
7:04: Mittens, a moral victory in winning Wyoming? It's like the least populated state.
7:05: Questions through Facebook?
7:08: This is the most boring lead up ever. I'm just not into this. Sitting for the debate?
7:09: Oh, Charlie Gibson, you're like chamomile tea and nutter butters.
7:10: Isn't there football?
7:10: One minute into the actual debate...9/11.
7:11: Huckabee and foreign policy? He believes the Canadian parliament is an igloo.
7:13: Blah, blah, Fred Thompson, blah, blah
7:13: David is keeping tabs on Islamic terrorists and 9/11...we'll let you know
7:14: T minus 5, 4, 3, 2, ISLAMIC TERRORISTS! Thanks, Gulliani.
7:15: McCain to Gulliani: Bitch, please.
7:18: McCain shall win New Hampshire, the news media told me so
7:19: Poor David, he's losing it trying to keep count.
7:21: Thompson woke from his slumber.
7:22: Attacked with biological stuffs and not even know it. Like Alzheimers.
7:23: Existential threat. Sartre will threaten you with a summer sausage!
7:24: Mittens reads Islamic writings? Is he remembering his dad marching with Martin Luther King again?
7:26: Islam, Islam, Islam, Islam, Islam. ISLAM!
7:27: Republican fight! There might be chairs thrown.
7:28: "Which one?" Oooooooooooooooooooooooh, Huckabee...gettin' catty with MIttens
7:29: Fucking Christ.
7:30: Why not someone bring up the The Troubles? What about Tim McVeigh? He was as anti-brown person as one could get.
7:31: Charlie Gibson is just letting them crash and burn. Republicans=fail.
7:34: Has that wine breathed enough, David?
7:36: First Ronald Reagan reference
7:36: Gulliani wrote out his promises to us on a bar napkin
7:37: Second Reagan reference
7:38: Third Reagan reference
7:39: *sigh* Huckabee, your education once again fails you. It wasn't radical--those beliefs of the Enlightenment had been around for awhile.
7:41: PS. Huckabee, the words of the declaration of independence didn't come from God...it came from John Locke, Wikipedia told me.
7:43: Am I the only one that gets the sad irony of quoting the declaration of indpendence
7:44: Even Islamoterrorists insure their people.
7:45: Gulliani, I know Canadians. They're praying to God they never get sick here.
7:46: Charlie Gibson beat them with the stupid stick! I think he's sick of them too. I should send him a bottle of scotch. $3,000 tax break to cover the $13,000 for a family of four. Way to be, Republicans. Way to be.
7:50: Ron Paul! Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha! In a minute, Mittens or Thompson will press the lever on Ron Paul's chair.
7:52: MIttens, I'd like to meet the people that can afford to buy health insurance and do not.
7:54: Fucking Christ, Huckabee--father of a dog killer--is the fucking sane one in this debate. I see his strategy, sit back and let the others around him implode and explode.
7:59: The wine has breathed. Into my first glass.
8:00: Mittens, you should know about the African sleeping sickness drug taken off the market because there wasn't a market for it (you know, dirt poor Africans), but then was put back on the market to remove female facial hair (Mittens wife). Yeah, they're really looking out for us, MIttens.
8:01: I can't snark this. Mittens, stop defending the pharmaceutical companies. Really, you've lost the old people vote. Because when grandma is on the average of EIGHT meds and has to decide to eat, have heat, or NOT FUCKING HAVE A HEART ATTACK, what would she chose? MITTENS WANTS GRANDMA TO DIE!
8:07: Mittens, Mittens, Mittens, Mittens, I shall drink more wine to ease my pain.
8:16: Fourth Reagan reference
8:17: MOTHERFUCKING MEXIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNS!
8:17: Fucking Christ, how much more RACIST can you get, party o' Lincoln? Why don't we just say white immigrants are okay, but brown people are not okay.
8:19: Wow, I forgot about Huckabee. He mentioned Lincoln, holy fuck! He's reading my mind!
8:22: Ron Paul: COMPUTER CHIPS IN UR MINDZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8:22: There should be a Republican field trip a lettuce farm.
8:24: Mittens, just say it..."Don't vote for Barak Obama because he's a black guy." We all know that is what you mean.
8:25: David's given up his tally.
8:25: Mittens watched his daddy walk with MLK, trufax, and wept when black men were allowed to hold the priesthood in his American mid 1800's created church, trufax.
8:28: Come on, guys! Don't attack Mittens! He's our speshul flower.
8:30: It's only 8:30?
8:31: Way to tell us how awesome Obama is, Huckabee. :)
8:35: Second glass of wine
8:36: The presenter with Charlie Gibson: "My moral outrage, let me show you it!"
8:38: Clean Coal? *eye twitch*
8:40: Mittens, Mittens, Mittens, we can't become energy independent in ten years? In two months, my electric bill went from over my $31 budget billing to SEVENTEEN FUCKING DOLLARS. I got a new tv and switched out my lightbulbs, bitch.
8:42: Thank fucking God, the Repub debate is over.
Recap: Fred Thompson woke from his slumber; Gulliani maintained his platform of Islamoterrorists, 9/11, and Ronald Reagan; McCain was I <3 New Hampshire; Ron Paul repeated too much paper monies, high gold prices, and those freaking computer chips in our brains; Huckabee practiced those sweet bass riffs in his head; and Mittens had his feelings hurt...over and over again.
Intermission: Aleve, Bayer...I notice your ads ABC, I notice them.
Dem Debate time! :D
9:03: Charlie Gibson: chamomile tea, nutter butters, and cheerios
9:06: How long will it be before Obama says, "they said" or "hope"
9:07: Haha, Charlie Gibson to Obama: "Ur in pakistan keepin up the Bush doctrinz!!!1!1!11!"
9:08: Edwards: "Ad hoc policy"
9:10: Richardson: "I r smart. I use diplomacies."
9:13: Where's the crazy. It's so calm at this dem debate. I want Grandpa!
9:14: Clinton has lost 87% of America
9:19: *head thrown back* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
9:20: I just saw Duncan Hunter placed 3rd in Wyoming. What a state to win, Mittens.
9:21: David has lost all interest.
9:24: This debate is like a council meeting and we're deciding to vote if the cub scouts can set up the popcorn sale in front of the WWII memorial
9:26: Oh sweet Jesus, CHANGE!
9:26: Ooooooooh, Gibson wants to bring in the pain Obama/Clinton smackdown!
9:30: If this was a Mittens/Huckabee smackdown, the Super Best Friends would break it up.
9:32: It's like the fucking PTA Sunshine Committee. "I was to make the cupcakes." "No, you were to make the lemon squares. Barbara will make the cupcakes."
9:34: Change, Change, CHANGE!!!!!!!!
9:35: Oooooh, Madam Clinton is about to bring the beat down. "I'm motherfucking Hilary Clinton, bitches!"
9:36: Lady voices, Hilary, lady voices.
9:36: "I've been in hostage situations more civil than this." The PTA chairman speaks! :D
9:37: Did I mention...I <3 Richardson? Seriously, step the fuck back people and vote for him! I blame the damn pesticides in those corn fields.
9:39: Obama stands for everything and nothing.
9:50: Did Richardson not have his sugar? He's kinda grumpy today.
9:55: Sweet Jesus, commercial!
9:56: Plavix. For that stroke I'm about to have.
9:57: It's back on. I'm disappointed with the political definition of "party"
9:59: All she has to say is, "Remember when people elected Bush because they liked him more?"
10:00: She took my advice. Good girl.
10:01: Sadly people often forget she has a vagina and is a woman. Chelsea needs to be more visible.
10:02: Haha, Obama watched football instead of the Republicans...as did most of America.
10:09: WORKED FOR 37 YEARS IN THE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLS! :D
10:09: CORPORATIONS! :D
10:11: Woohoo! Bringing up the liver transplant!
10:11: Edwards is gettting it all in--miiiills, poverty, corporations, and it's personal
10:12: THE MOTHERFUCKING MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLS!
10:12: All Obama has to say is, "My daddy was a goat shepherd."
10:16: Hils to Edwards: "Whoopdee shit your daddy worked in a miiiiiiiiill."
10:17: Charlie Gibson is a fucking cynic. "Whoopdee shit your fucking change! I've got your fucking change in my damn lint-filled pocket."
10:19: No, take that PAC money! This year, in protest, I will not pay that $20 for PPAC (Podiatry political action committee). I'm a fucking rebel. I'm bringing about the change, bitches!
10:20: Obama, way to set the bar low. We have Bush now. "The people are hungry for change." Well, fucking duh.
10:23: Edwards is a yapping dog. We need the Dog Whisperer.
10;27: David is passed out on the floor. "This is what I think of you, debates: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."
10:30: I get it Edwards. Corporations.
10:31: Mills, mills, MILLS!
10:31: I live in "Mills Creek". It is a place where the Edwards can run free. He won't be bothered by corporations there. 10:37: Aw, it's like one of those reunion shows now. All is happy in the democratic world.
Recap: Obama was for change and nothing; Clinton reminded everyone she was a woman and an agent of change, but with experience; Richardson reminded us all he was governor; and Edwards reminded us about corporations and MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLS!
Fucking Christ. I hope to sweet Jesus there are no more debates. Four fucking hours? More drink!
Love
Jennie
ETA:
I added my thoughts to the ABC/Facebook Soundboard, which might be featured on ABC News.
I wrote: "is wondering if 'existential threat' is Sartre running at us with a summer sausage."
Sadly, it was not featured. *sigh*