It's scary to contemplate, but it is bearable. It only seems to sink in as much as you can bear at a time.
I spent my grief soothing Mum, and it's only years later that I truly miss him, and want to share experiences with him. Not that I knew him too well, but as I get older, and I understand adult thinking better, I know him in ways I didn't when he was alive.
I guess that you don't really want to see him, but you will see that day in a better light afterwards. The more you see him, the more you understand him, or at least have memories to try to understand later.
Eh, my two cents worth. I am preachy I know, but if it gets hard, I have been there. I'm all nostalgic and sentimental about my Dad, even though at the time I was an argumentative child and he was a childish man and we fought. In perspective I don't remember the fights, I remember that he loved me, even when I couldn't see it. Dads love their kids. Without exception.
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I spent my grief soothing Mum, and it's only years later that I truly miss him, and want to share experiences with him. Not that I knew him too well, but as I get older, and I understand adult thinking better, I know him in ways I didn't when he was alive.
I guess that you don't really want to see him, but you will see that day in a better light afterwards. The more you see him, the more you understand him, or at least have memories to try to understand later.
Eh, my two cents worth. I am preachy I know, but if it gets hard, I have been there. I'm all nostalgic and sentimental about my Dad, even though at the time I was an argumentative child and he was a childish man and we fought. In perspective I don't remember the fights, I remember that he loved me, even when I couldn't see it. Dads love their kids. Without exception.
Here, have some octopus sex.
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