Gone [Yoochul] PG-13
Title: Gone
Pair: brokenYoochul, Yoochun focus
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Length: One-shot
Summary: Yoochun leaves two friends and Heechul leaves him.
Warning: Very rough, completly un-beta & Im just practicing until I can come up with zazu bemistaken thank you fic.
'Cause I've been thinking, thinking
I've got a plan to lose it all
If I haven't already given it away
I've got a plan to lose it all
"Loser"-Switchfoot
You know you wouldn't end losing just two brothers. Somehow you knew he will choose him over you. Even thou you dont doubt his love for you, you just know he is fucking more important than you. He knows him for much longer than you know him. And you get it, in fact you are sort of glad he did. You have two more brother who would wrap you in their arms and cover you in warm comfort. You couldnt deprieve Yunho from that, so you didnt fight back when Heechul turn his back on you. You dont think Yunho could deal with losing two friends at the same time and you hope you can deal with losing a friend and a lover at the same time.
But that doesnt mean it doesnt hurt. It doesnt mean that you can brush everything off. You arent a saint, you are a silly human with tons of silly emotions. You prepare yourself to lose because you know that even the winners lose but your heart didnt prepare for the pain of losing so much and so hard. You held yourself as straight at you could through all the trials and the accusations. The stare of past friends, the silent treatment of a business who once loved you. And at night, when you are safely wrap in your friends warm arms you find out that is not okay. You should have fought for him. But is too late, you already planned this and you promise yourself to bear with the consecuences. Even if it meant a heart broken and a empty soul.
Every day we still try
Every night we still cry
"Amateurs Lovers"- Switchfoot
Sometimes you just cant help yourself. You find yourself pressing the already know digits and before he could answer it you click the red button. You try every second of every minute of every hour of the day to not do this. But it always happens, you always dial his number just to end it before he could answer. You dont care that maybe he knows is you (is not like you have the same number). You dont care that everytime this happens your heart dies a little bit more. You just need the prospect of hearing his voice even if you dont.
He calls you and you didnt answer. He calls you again and you heart pushed you to answer. "Stop calling me Yoochun-ah." is the first thing that he says after you say 'Hello'. You close your eyes and breathe deep. "You made a choice and I made mine Yoochun-ah. Lets just stick to it. You keep your crusade of changing the music industry and I keep doing everything I used to do." You feel your heart cracking a bit more and part of you hollow soul rips. "I'll try harder..." You hear a click and the dial tone before you could end you sentence. I silent tears drips from your eyes and you swear to yourself that you would never ever dial his number again.
This time you will try to erase him as hard and as fast as you can. Like he said you made your choice and he made his.
I'm alive but tell me am I free
I got eyes but tell me can I see
the sky is falling and no one knows
it shouldn't be hard to believe
shouldn't be this difficult to breathe
"Sky is falling"- Lifehouse
You kept on with your career, feeling happy with the little things you could do. Your heart warm a bit everytime you discover someone new who still believes in you. You kept on with your two other friends. You hold on onto your ideals, your believes and the utopic dream your are fighting for, leaving behind the memories of everything you have lost in the way.
Still your heart ache and your eyes stings. And sometimes you find questioning yourself if is worth it, doubting you could go on. Sadly silence is your only answer and it hurts to think that he is not here to tell you its okay, or that you are srong enough for this or laugh at your silly ideals. He not here to fight with you, yell at you how stupid this is and that you are turning your back to people who are loyal to you, people who loves you, people who are willing to share all your sadness.
You remember telling him that that's not what you want. You dont want people feeling as miserable as your feel. You just want to work and dream and write and feel free doing what you love. You dont wanna live a life without freedom, you dont want a sight that only sees how justice is walk on and spit on. You could only remember his laugh and through your tears you could see him shaking his head and walking out.
'Then prepare to lose it all Yoochun-ah'
I'm leaving you,
not sure if that's what I should do
It hurts so bad,
I'm wanting you but can't go back
"Droplets"-Colbie Caillat
Jaejoong keeps telling you that you need to make up your mind. You can be here and wishing to be there. Junsu only hugs you and always, always say 'take it easy man'. And if you think about it, you havent change much, you feel as miserable here and now as when you where there. So you really made up your mind. You can fight for your ideals hoping to run at the past. You can want all of you want but your made a decision. You decided to walk this path and you realize you never invited him. So its time to leave it all behind. You know its time to let it go, let him go and refocus.
You dont love him any less or any more. You love him just the way he meants to be love. You want him just like the first time you felt for him. Everything hurts, it hurts so, so fucking bad. But you know your not the only hurting, not the only one losing and certainly not the only one being faithful to the path choosen. You just look at your two friends and at your past two friends and you know it.
So this is it.
Everything you ever touched is undisturbed and hangs out
Like crime scene evidence undisturbed in dust
I don't dare touch anything because it's evidence of us
"Now that you are gone"- Ryan Adams
Pair: brokenYoochul, Yoochun focus
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Length: One-shot
Summary: Yoochun leaves two friends and Heechul leaves him.
Warning: Very rough, completly un-beta & Im just practicing until I can come up with zazu bemistaken thank you fic.
'Cause I've been thinking, thinking
I've got a plan to lose it all
If I haven't already given it away
I've got a plan to lose it all
"Loser"-Switchfoot
You know you wouldn't end losing just two brothers. Somehow you knew he will choose him over you. Even thou you dont doubt his love for you, you just know he is fucking more important than you. He knows him for much longer than you know him. And you get it, in fact you are sort of glad he did. You have two more brother who would wrap you in their arms and cover you in warm comfort. You couldnt deprieve Yunho from that, so you didnt fight back when Heechul turn his back on you. You dont think Yunho could deal with losing two friends at the same time and you hope you can deal with losing a friend and a lover at the same time.
But that doesnt mean it doesnt hurt. It doesnt mean that you can brush everything off. You arent a saint, you are a silly human with tons of silly emotions. You prepare yourself to lose because you know that even the winners lose but your heart didnt prepare for the pain of losing so much and so hard. You held yourself as straight at you could through all the trials and the accusations. The stare of past friends, the silent treatment of a business who once loved you. And at night, when you are safely wrap in your friends warm arms you find out that is not okay. You should have fought for him. But is too late, you already planned this and you promise yourself to bear with the consecuences. Even if it meant a heart broken and a empty soul.
Every day we still try
Every night we still cry
"Amateurs Lovers"- Switchfoot
Sometimes you just cant help yourself. You find yourself pressing the already know digits and before he could answer it you click the red button. You try every second of every minute of every hour of the day to not do this. But it always happens, you always dial his number just to end it before he could answer. You dont care that maybe he knows is you (is not like you have the same number). You dont care that everytime this happens your heart dies a little bit more. You just need the prospect of hearing his voice even if you dont.
He calls you and you didnt answer. He calls you again and you heart pushed you to answer. "Stop calling me Yoochun-ah." is the first thing that he says after you say 'Hello'. You close your eyes and breathe deep. "You made a choice and I made mine Yoochun-ah. Lets just stick to it. You keep your crusade of changing the music industry and I keep doing everything I used to do." You feel your heart cracking a bit more and part of you hollow soul rips. "I'll try harder..." You hear a click and the dial tone before you could end you sentence. I silent tears drips from your eyes and you swear to yourself that you would never ever dial his number again.
This time you will try to erase him as hard and as fast as you can. Like he said you made your choice and he made his.
I'm alive but tell me am I free
I got eyes but tell me can I see
the sky is falling and no one knows
it shouldn't be hard to believe
shouldn't be this difficult to breathe
"Sky is falling"- Lifehouse
You kept on with your career, feeling happy with the little things you could do. Your heart warm a bit everytime you discover someone new who still believes in you. You kept on with your two other friends. You hold on onto your ideals, your believes and the utopic dream your are fighting for, leaving behind the memories of everything you have lost in the way.
Still your heart ache and your eyes stings. And sometimes you find questioning yourself if is worth it, doubting you could go on. Sadly silence is your only answer and it hurts to think that he is not here to tell you its okay, or that you are srong enough for this or laugh at your silly ideals. He not here to fight with you, yell at you how stupid this is and that you are turning your back to people who are loyal to you, people who loves you, people who are willing to share all your sadness.
You remember telling him that that's not what you want. You dont want people feeling as miserable as your feel. You just want to work and dream and write and feel free doing what you love. You dont wanna live a life without freedom, you dont want a sight that only sees how justice is walk on and spit on. You could only remember his laugh and through your tears you could see him shaking his head and walking out.
'Then prepare to lose it all Yoochun-ah'
I'm leaving you,
not sure if that's what I should do
It hurts so bad,
I'm wanting you but can't go back
"Droplets"-Colbie Caillat
Jaejoong keeps telling you that you need to make up your mind. You can be here and wishing to be there. Junsu only hugs you and always, always say 'take it easy man'. And if you think about it, you havent change much, you feel as miserable here and now as when you where there. So you really made up your mind. You can fight for your ideals hoping to run at the past. You can want all of you want but your made a decision. You decided to walk this path and you realize you never invited him. So its time to leave it all behind. You know its time to let it go, let him go and refocus.
You dont love him any less or any more. You love him just the way he meants to be love. You want him just like the first time you felt for him. Everything hurts, it hurts so, so fucking bad. But you know your not the only hurting, not the only one losing and certainly not the only one being faithful to the path choosen. You just look at your two friends and at your past two friends and you know it.
So this is it.
Everything you ever touched is undisturbed and hangs out
Like crime scene evidence undisturbed in dust
I don't dare touch anything because it's evidence of us
"Now that you are gone"- Ryan Adams