JJJJJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
ive been avoiding a true updation....cuz im lazy :/ lol oh well. i will SOON
for now, clicky below for good laughs
"I didn't get my license until I was 19. I know that makes me sound stupid, but My mom and I had a deal that I could get my license when i took an honors class in school. I was just your average student, but when I thought about it, if I didn't take a honors class until I was out of high school my mom would have to let me get my license."
MUAHA! he got his license late like me!! or later..
"Ok since almost all of the songs I've played so far have been about love your probably wondering what is wrong with me. For the most part I need a girlfriend or something. I cry when I see couples, and I'm not sure if any of you have seen this commercial but There is that one Coke commercial where the guy is talking and he is like 'When I first met her she had the most gorgous panties I had ever seen, but now, when I look in the hamper, her panties look like my mothers'. That is the grossest thing ever but I started crying cause I want that. Sometimes when I'm not on tour I will watch my friend's pets, at least then I have some company. I just really want a hot girl's company!!"
mmmm ill be your company johnny, ill be your lover ;)
After messing up one of his songs John said "How f***ing stupid am I? I can't remember the words to my own songs, yet I can remember every video game song ever!?!?!" Then he played The Super Mario Brothers Theme song.
"Don't you hate that f**cking voice mail lady? I want to beat the s**t out of her."
hahahahah me too!!!!
"You know when you buy a 12 inch sub, and you can't eat it all? 6 inches is too small... 12 too big. When you measure the uneaten sub it comes out to about 3 inches. They should make 9 inch subs. 9 is the new 12"
wow, i feel like his twin rite now.
(After saying s**t) "I'm gonna stop swearing, I just looked at this cute little baby girl and she gave me a look... I'm gonna be Bill Cosby for the rest of the night."
(Talking about looking through your phone book on your cell) "They suck, they're sleeping, they're sleeping, nah, nope, they suck... then you pick the one that sucks the least and call them. They'll do for now."
"Before i sing this next song i'd like to discuss a very serious topic. i fucking LOVE porno!.
"I wrote most of these songs in my alone in my underwear."
"Wow, you sing like angels" - after the audience sang along with him to a song
"This is what we like to call in a songwriting community of, well... one... a boomerang song because you write it, you send it out, you think you're done with it, then it comes back and hits you right over the eye and you bleed and it comes down your face... and it's gross. ANYWAY. I refer to this song all the time and I have to tell you that it's kind of become a little bit of diplomatic immunity for when I wanna say stupid shit. I can play it off like anyone else, but inside, I'm crying like a little bitch."
hahahahahah
"You know...when you get that thing where a bit of snot comes out of your nose...and it feels like it's down here (points to upper lip) but in reality, it's really still up there (points to nose). You know what I mean? You can get a bunch of crusty junk up there in the lower nose area and no one would ever see. Well, 90% of the time the snot just ends up there. The only reason I bring this up is that that happened to me...just now, when I was singing the third line of that last song. Did any of you see it?"
HAHAHAHAHA i NEEEEED to marry him!!!
"This morning I was awaken only byt the urgent need to pee.. may you have many more days like that this summer."
"Hey I'm not wearing any underwear!" Crowd screams, John shows a little of his boxers and says "haha, I was just lying, these balls are dry"
HAHAHAHAHAH
"When I stop singing from the heart, I don't know...I guess I'll write jingles (starts to sing) Tampons...Ohh Tampons."
whats w/him and tampons?? lol
"I'm glad you can sit here with me and listen to my bullshit. Oh, I'm sorry to the parents out there for saying bullshit. But you know what? It's my fucking show."
"I want everyone to put their thumb and forefinger together and measure my head. If your fingers are actually touching, I want to thank you for coming."
that was us jillian!!
"So I had a dream last night where all I did was drink chocolate milk. And then I woke up this morning and I really f***in' wanted some chocolate milk. So we get here today and NO S*** theres like 3 gallons of milk on the lunch table next to this jumbo sized Hershey's chocolate jug. So I drank like a gallon. That's why I'm so f***ing happy tonight. CHOCOLATE MILK ROCKS!!" John later came out for the encore with a cup of milk, a hershey's bottle and a spoon mixing himself some chocolate milk.
i dont think i can explain how much we need each other
"Now that's f***ing teamwork." After the audience had sung a full verse to "No Such Thing" by themselves.
"There are some really beautiful girls in the front row tonight. But they're young. They're young." Two girls throw their bras at John - "And very well developed, too!"
"I feel tired, but happy, really happy, It's like I've just had sex"
"The encore is just an excuse for all the pussies here to leave early so they dont get caught in traffic...shit i think I just called half of the paying customers pussies..oh well"
HAHAHAHHA
"I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillow case," changed to "I love the shape you take when my balls are in your face." during "Your Body is a Wonderland"
"It's nice to look at all these beautiful girls and think to myself 'hey! I'm not gay!' "
Right before "No Such Thing", "I dedicate this song to myself...the coolest motherf**cker from Fairfield, Connecticut."
"Between every song I keep looking down and thinking 'shit I should tie my shoe!' but you know I'm not gonna because I dont wanna stop the momentum, I gotta keep the pace, i mean i shouldn't even be talking about tying shoes, it has nothing to do with playing a rock show! But you know I like it, I like it, left shoe untied...it's sexy."
mmm sexy indeed
After adding random verses into songs, "You know I don't think I'm playing protocol but thats okay I kinda like it. You'll have to excuse me, I've been drinking too much of that blackout milk. Now I want you to know I just came up with that now, in the last two seconds, it's not like I was thinking about that in the dressing room or anything."
hahahahahah
"I'm looking for my ideal soul mate. That is somebody who is confident enought to feel love at a moment when love is not being given. A lot of times, I feel like I'm on the road to support a family I don't even have yet. I don't have to tour as much as I do, but I want to for that future family."
*awwwww*
Still, the currently single crooner admits he has a short attention span when it comes to romance. "If Ritalin would make me love the same girl for a long time, point me to the nearest CVS."
JILLIAN! OMG! HAHAHAHA its just what we were talking about.....i need to be with him!! NOW!