I need a new hobby.
Section One: Just the Beginning
Pick a ‘fantasy' name rather than your own.
→ Ten Inch Tom
Listening to any music?
→ Not at the moment.
Where do you live?
→ Star City
What is your star sign, and what typical qualities of this sign do you possess?
→ Leo. Make up your own mind.
What kind of mood are you in?
→ Impatient and surly.
What’s the weather like around your area?
→ Clear and cool.
Who is in the room with you?
→ No one.
What are you wearing?
→ A suit. It's a work day.
What is your make-up like today?
→ I don't wear make-up. Usually.
Hair colour?
→ Blond.
Hair length?
→ Just right.
Hair style?
→ Fine, thanks.
Eye colour?
→ Blue.
Eye size?
→ 12 mm. How should I know?
Section Two: Your Surroundings
What colour is your bedroom?
→ Beige, white, red.
How large or small is it?
→ Very very large.
Do you have a:
(A). TV?: → Yes.
(B). DVD Player?: → Yes.
(C). VCR?: → No.
(D). Stereo?: → Yes.
(E). Computer?: → Yes.
What is your favourite item of furniture?
→ My bed.
What kind of posters are displayed upon your walls?
→ I don't have posters.
When was your bedroom last decorated?
→ A few years ago.
Where did you buy your furniture?
→ Wherever my decorator got it from.
Do you have candles?
→ Some.
Who do you live with currently?
→ CD and our menagerie, apparently. That's a demon spawn cat, a dog, and a monkey for anyone keeping track.
Are you happy where you are living?
→ Yes.
Have you ever moved?
→ Sure.
How many bedrooms are in your house [or whatever]?
→ Seven or eight.
How many bathrooms?
→ One for each bedroom and two downstairs.
How many rooms in general?
→ Twenty? Give or take.
How big is the garden?
→ Eh, not my thing.
Section Three: Ambitions and Careers
Do you have a job?
→ I'm the CEO of Queen Enterprises, Inc. and sit on the board of a few charities, mostly environmental-based.
If so, where do you work?
→ The QEI HQ in Star City.
Do you enjoy it?
→ Yes.
How long have you worked there?
→ Since I bought back the company after I was Mayor.
Do you get along with your boss?
→ The shareholders are my boss. So. No.
What are your general duties in this job?
→ Keep the company going, internal and external finance management, blah blah.
What is your life-long ambition, no matter how far-fetched?
→ To see all my kids and grandkids happy. And meet my first great-grandkid.
Can you see yourself achieving this ambition/career?
→ Sure.
How many jobs have you had?
→ Five.
Section Four: You, Friends and Your Hobbies
What kind of person are you personality-wise?
→ Arrogant, loud-mouthed, and loyal.
What are your annoyances?
→ Bats.
The kind of people you love/like:
→ I'm eclectic in my tastes.
The kind of people you hate/dislike:
→ People who hurt people.
Are you a morning or night time person?
→ Night.
Your best girl-mate:
→ CD.
Your best guy-mate:
→ Hal.
Work/school mates:
→ Sorry, non-disclosure.
Internet mates:
→ I don't have internet-specific mates.
Your phrases/words you say a lot:
→ Damn.
Do you cry easily?
→ No.
Are you religious?
→ No.
What is the weirdest hobby you have?
→ I cook. Most people are pretty surprised by that.
Do you smoke?
→ No.
Do you drink?
→ Yes?
Ever done drugs?
→ Yes.
Describe your most awful drunken experience:
→ If I could, I wasn't that drunk.
Describe your best drunken experience:
→ Whatever made Connor.
Describe your weirdest drunken experience:
→ Who even knows.
Do you read often?
→ Yes.
What book are you reading?
→ The Road by Cormac McCarthy.
What book do you plan to read next?
→ The Golden Compass
What was the last movie you watched?
→ Debbie Does Boston
What was the last meal you ate?
→ Lunch.
Do you write poetry, or stories, or songs, etc.?
→ No.
Section Five: Sex, Love and Relationships
The most obvious question is are you single or involved?
→ Involved.
If yes:
(A). How long have you been seeing them?: → Since May.
(B). Is this a record for you?: → No.
(C). Do you love them?: → Yes.
If no, do you wish you were in a relationship, and why?
→ I am.
Do you have crushes?
→ In general? Nah.
How many people have you loved?
→ Three.
Are you in love with anyone now?
→ Yes.
What is the most romantic thing someone could do for you?
→ Slap me when I get out of line.
The most romantic thing someone has done for you?
→ Slapped me when I got out of line.
Do you appreciate romance?
→ Yes.
Are you really romantic, and if so, in what ways?
→ Sure. In my own, special Ollie way.
Most sexually complimented part of you (physical or non):
→ My penis.
Do you have any sexual fantasies, and, if so, what are they?
→ Sure, and they are none of your damn business.
Are you gay, straight, or bi-sexual?
→ Straight. Sorry, Hal.
Would you say you are open-minded about your sexuality?
→ Yes.
Personality - what kind of guy/girl do you go for/like?:
→ Strong, smart, sexy.
Appearance - same question:
→ See above.
Is it important that they have a lot in common with you?
→ Yes.
What star sign are you most compatible with?
→ Who knows.
How often do you attract people?
→ All the time.
What turns you on?
→ Talking dirty. Innuendo. Actual sex. A woman who can laugh in bed.
What turns you off?
→ Pretty much nothing.
Celebrities you think are hot:
→ I know too many. I refuse to answer this.
Your favourite term - shag/sex/sleep with/make love/fuck:
→ Sex.
Section Six: Music, TV and Movies
OK, the expected question's coming up. What kind of music do you listen to?
→ Whatever.
All the bands and singers you listen to:
→ Classic stuff. Cream, The Stones, The Beatles, that kind of stuff.
Your top five bands/artists:
→ Cream, The Stones, The Beatles, The Kinks... Aerosmith.
If you could steal anybody’s vocals for your own, whose would you steal?
→ Steven Tyler.
Would you like to be in a band, or are you?
→ No.
What kind of music do you/would you play?
→ Rock and or roll.
Do you play any instruments?
→ No.
If not, if you could, what would you play in your band?
→ Guitar. Chicks dig guitarists.
Ever written a song?
→ No.
Your most recently purchased CD?
→ The blonde one.
Your favourite album:
→ Abbey Road.
Your favourite song(s):
→ "Let it Be"
Your favourite movies:
→ Errol Flynn's Robin Hood stuff.
What kind of movies do you like to watch?
→ Action.
TV shows you watch:
→ I don't really watch TV.
Section Seven: The Ending
What time is it now?
→ 12:01 PM
How long did it take you to fill this out?
→ About half an hour.
Did you enjoy it?
→ Sure.
What are you going to do now?
→ Yell at some subordinates.
Any last words?
→ Hurry the hell up.
Pick a ‘fantasy' name rather than your own.
→ Ten Inch Tom
Listening to any music?
→ Not at the moment.
Where do you live?
→ Star City
What is your star sign, and what typical qualities of this sign do you possess?
→ Leo. Make up your own mind.
What kind of mood are you in?
→ Impatient and surly.
What’s the weather like around your area?
→ Clear and cool.
Who is in the room with you?
→ No one.
What are you wearing?
→ A suit. It's a work day.
What is your make-up like today?
→ I don't wear make-up. Usually.
Hair colour?
→ Blond.
Hair length?
→ Just right.
Hair style?
→ Fine, thanks.
Eye colour?
→ Blue.
Eye size?
→ 12 mm. How should I know?
Section Two: Your Surroundings
What colour is your bedroom?
→ Beige, white, red.
How large or small is it?
→ Very very large.
Do you have a:
(A). TV?: → Yes.
(B). DVD Player?: → Yes.
(C). VCR?: → No.
(D). Stereo?: → Yes.
(E). Computer?: → Yes.
What is your favourite item of furniture?
→ My bed.
What kind of posters are displayed upon your walls?
→ I don't have posters.
When was your bedroom last decorated?
→ A few years ago.
Where did you buy your furniture?
→ Wherever my decorator got it from.
Do you have candles?
→ Some.
Who do you live with currently?
→ CD and our menagerie, apparently. That's a demon spawn cat, a dog, and a monkey for anyone keeping track.
Are you happy where you are living?
→ Yes.
Have you ever moved?
→ Sure.
How many bedrooms are in your house [or whatever]?
→ Seven or eight.
How many bathrooms?
→ One for each bedroom and two downstairs.
How many rooms in general?
→ Twenty? Give or take.
How big is the garden?
→ Eh, not my thing.
Section Three: Ambitions and Careers
Do you have a job?
→ I'm the CEO of Queen Enterprises, Inc. and sit on the board of a few charities, mostly environmental-based.
If so, where do you work?
→ The QEI HQ in Star City.
Do you enjoy it?
→ Yes.
How long have you worked there?
→ Since I bought back the company after I was Mayor.
Do you get along with your boss?
→ The shareholders are my boss. So. No.
What are your general duties in this job?
→ Keep the company going, internal and external finance management, blah blah.
What is your life-long ambition, no matter how far-fetched?
→ To see all my kids and grandkids happy. And meet my first great-grandkid.
Can you see yourself achieving this ambition/career?
→ Sure.
How many jobs have you had?
→ Five.
Section Four: You, Friends and Your Hobbies
What kind of person are you personality-wise?
→ Arrogant, loud-mouthed, and loyal.
What are your annoyances?
→ Bats.
The kind of people you love/like:
→ I'm eclectic in my tastes.
The kind of people you hate/dislike:
→ People who hurt people.
Are you a morning or night time person?
→ Night.
Your best girl-mate:
→ CD.
Your best guy-mate:
→ Hal.
Work/school mates:
→ Sorry, non-disclosure.
Internet mates:
→ I don't have internet-specific mates.
Your phrases/words you say a lot:
→ Damn.
Do you cry easily?
→ No.
Are you religious?
→ No.
What is the weirdest hobby you have?
→ I cook. Most people are pretty surprised by that.
Do you smoke?
→ No.
Do you drink?
→ Yes?
Ever done drugs?
→ Yes.
Describe your most awful drunken experience:
→ If I could, I wasn't that drunk.
Describe your best drunken experience:
→ Whatever made Connor.
Describe your weirdest drunken experience:
→ Who even knows.
Do you read often?
→ Yes.
What book are you reading?
→ The Road by Cormac McCarthy.
What book do you plan to read next?
→ The Golden Compass
What was the last movie you watched?
→ Debbie Does Boston
What was the last meal you ate?
→ Lunch.
Do you write poetry, or stories, or songs, etc.?
→ No.
Section Five: Sex, Love and Relationships
The most obvious question is are you single or involved?
→ Involved.
If yes:
(A). How long have you been seeing them?: → Since May.
(B). Is this a record for you?: → No.
(C). Do you love them?: → Yes.
If no, do you wish you were in a relationship, and why?
→ I am.
Do you have crushes?
→ In general? Nah.
How many people have you loved?
→ Three.
Are you in love with anyone now?
→ Yes.
What is the most romantic thing someone could do for you?
→ Slap me when I get out of line.
The most romantic thing someone has done for you?
→ Slapped me when I got out of line.
Do you appreciate romance?
→ Yes.
Are you really romantic, and if so, in what ways?
→ Sure. In my own, special Ollie way.
Most sexually complimented part of you (physical or non):
→ My penis.
Do you have any sexual fantasies, and, if so, what are they?
→ Sure, and they are none of your damn business.
Are you gay, straight, or bi-sexual?
→ Straight. Sorry, Hal.
Would you say you are open-minded about your sexuality?
→ Yes.
Personality - what kind of guy/girl do you go for/like?:
→ Strong, smart, sexy.
Appearance - same question:
→ See above.
Is it important that they have a lot in common with you?
→ Yes.
What star sign are you most compatible with?
→ Who knows.
How often do you attract people?
→ All the time.
What turns you on?
→ Talking dirty. Innuendo. Actual sex. A woman who can laugh in bed.
What turns you off?
→ Pretty much nothing.
Celebrities you think are hot:
→ I know too many. I refuse to answer this.
Your favourite term - shag/sex/sleep with/make love/fuck:
→ Sex.
Section Six: Music, TV and Movies
OK, the expected question's coming up. What kind of music do you listen to?
→ Whatever.
All the bands and singers you listen to:
→ Classic stuff. Cream, The Stones, The Beatles, that kind of stuff.
Your top five bands/artists:
→ Cream, The Stones, The Beatles, The Kinks... Aerosmith.
If you could steal anybody’s vocals for your own, whose would you steal?
→ Steven Tyler.
Would you like to be in a band, or are you?
→ No.
What kind of music do you/would you play?
→ Rock and or roll.
Do you play any instruments?
→ No.
If not, if you could, what would you play in your band?
→ Guitar. Chicks dig guitarists.
Ever written a song?
→ No.
Your most recently purchased CD?
→ The blonde one.
Your favourite album:
→ Abbey Road.
Your favourite song(s):
→ "Let it Be"
Your favourite movies:
→ Errol Flynn's Robin Hood stuff.
What kind of movies do you like to watch?
→ Action.
TV shows you watch:
→ I don't really watch TV.
Section Seven: The Ending
What time is it now?
→ 12:01 PM
How long did it take you to fill this out?
→ About half an hour.
Did you enjoy it?
→ Sure.
What are you going to do now?
→ Yell at some subordinates.
Any last words?
→ Hurry the hell up.