Story time~

[emeraldmouse]

So, I finished writing a story today. Felt good but made me realize that I am extremely out of practice with writing by myself. I haven't really written any stories by myself in years. Done a few scripts, a few monologues, etc, but it's mostly been roleplaying. So yes. Out of practice. But posting nonetheless. Gets kind of perverse- but then, that'

Comments

:D

[mls17]

Aww, cute! Though you seem to be afflicted with the same issue I have--the curse of the tiny paragraph. Its fine here, in a shorter story, of course,and it's effective here when you switch a little from viewpoint to viewpoint, but don't hesitate to make paragraphs more than 2 sentences long. Fill them up with more description of the surroundings, that sort of thing (for instance, the paragraph describing Alex as he reads is great--I can SEE him very well there). Also, some sentences have a bit of awkward wording going on (something else I, too, struggle with), but on the whole its pretty good. I only say the paragraph thing because, if I hadn't known who these two were and known to some degree the sort of world(s) they are featured in, I wouldn't have known what was going on aside from there being two cute boys engaging in fluffiness. Which is fine, too. :D

Re: :D

[emeraldmouse]

Can you give me any examples of awkward wording? I have problems, I think, with compounding my sentences. Instead of starting a new one I just 'comma+extra clause' it and continue. I'm not sure if that's what you're talking about or not, though. <3