(Untitled)

May 05, 2010 16:59

This is why I'm not allowed to read classic literature.

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random, short story

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Comments 4

mls17 May 5 2010, 22:10:54 UTC
O.M.G. I love this! I love how it came full circle, the details you added--very effective! The contrast between Jonathon and Julia was very sharp, distinct, making them the perfect foils.

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emeraldmouse May 5 2010, 23:10:50 UTC
Glad you enjoyed it. Some quick questions, if you don't mind.

Whose "side" did you want to take? Did it change at all through the story? Did you gather that this guy is dressed like a 1920's crime detective? How long did it take? Should I have made it more obvious in the beginning?

Any other input is greatly appreciated ;D

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mls17 May 5 2010, 23:14:59 UTC
Haha, I was mostly on his side throughout--no one should tell you to be who you're not, so I don't really feel that Julia was justified. She clearly knew what he was like when they got married, and she shouldn't expect him to just change. I didn't really gather that it was 1920's style for him until he called her "doll" and my hunch was solidified by the time you mentioned the fedora, as well as his little memory insert which made it feel like he was an old soul.
Hope that helped.

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emeraldmouse May 5 2010, 23:59:26 UTC
Very much so, thank you. <3

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