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[emeraldwilwarin]

I had my appointment with Dr. Cockrell to discuss my eating disorder yesterday, and it went much better than I expected. The night before I was extremely nervous about it, and today I was so anxious I could barely eat lunch. As I pushed a good half of the food away I thought to myself, This is it, this is the last time I will allow the Anorexic

Comments

[jehscribbler]

I'm so glad you're doing this, and that the Dr. visit went so well. It takes real bravery to face up to a problem that is so emotional and difficult to deal with.

Hugs. I will keep you in my thoughts.

[emeraldwilwarin]

You're comments are always so comforting to me, and I feel bad because all I can ever seem to find to say is 'thank you', but I hope you know how grateful I really am. Thank you for your constant support and encouragement, everything.

[tiny_dancer]

I'm really anal about everything, and I will literally drive myself batshit by planning out scenarios--right down to the facial expression the person will have. And something that scares the crap out of me is knowing that I tend to just throw it all out the window at the last second. I could plan my "speech" to a tee, and when it comes time to do it, all that comes out of my mouth is "uhh....duuuuuuuuhhh...". It's a mixture of aggravating, funny, and slightly neurotic.

I know I've been off in my own world lately--but I'm really proud of you, honey. This was a huge step, and the good news is--it was the biggest one. The steps from here on out get smaller and easier :)

<3

[emeraldwilwarin]

See, this is why you and I get along so well, because we have so much in common. Really, I do the exact same thing and it drives me crazy, it's the very reason that I have no nails because I spend so much time biting them and fretting over stuff like this.

Aw, babe, don't worry about it at all. You've had a lot on your plate lately, and I totally understand. If anything, I feel like I haven't been involved with things in your life to say how truly proud I am of you for everything you're accomplishing. But you know you're my hero, right? ;)

<3

[lotus82]

Kayla, I am so, so proud of you.

[emeraldwilwarin]

Thank you, honey. :) How did the legal marriage day go?

[lotus82]

I'll write all about it later - with pictures and all =)

[warmsound]

Kayla honey, I am so proud of you, and I'm so glad that your doctor was so understanding and helpful. As Lisa said, this was a huge step, and the biggest one, and I want you to know that it takes a lot of courage to do what you have done - not just what you did at the appointment when you told your doctor, even all that went into working toward that. It takes a lot of inner strength to do something like this, so if you're ever feeling like you don't know if you've got what it takes, try to look back on this day and the time approaching it and remember that it really is a testament to how strong of a person you really are, even if you don't always feel that way

[emeraldwilwarin]

Lis, thank you so much for this comment, honey, it really means so much more to me than I can ever truly convey in words. You're right, and I do recognize that a lot of work and effort went into getting to this point in recovery, and it's definitely something I'll look back on and find courage in knowing that I DID something about it and I took matters into my own hands. It's a big milestone, and not one to be taken lightly.

this is you doing something on your own. It's just that you're not doing it alone, and that's perfectly okay. :)

Oh god, this quote is absolute, total, utter love. <3 Seriously, it's so good that I think I need to write it down somewhere to look back on when I need to be reminded of this. Thank you so, so much.

I love you so very much, too, sweetheart. *hugs*

[toni_molko]

This is a huge step and I'm so proud of you for taking it! Like one of the other comments said, if you ever start to doubt your strength, just look back at this entry and remember how good it feels to take charge of it. Good luck with the clinic, sweetie, I'll be thinking of you!

[emeraldwilwarin]

Thank you so much, Toni, all your support and encouragement means so much to me. I appreciate it very, very much! :)