Thanksgivng For 2...Ooops Make that 3 a HAIR Fic NC-17
(I don’t own HAIR or anything related to it except the Cast CD which you will have to pry out of my hands.)
It was Thanksgiving and Berger and Claude decided to make the holiday their own, they just wanted to make a quiet thanksgiving dinner just them, so Berger decided to take on most of the cooking since Claude actually had to go into work for a couple hours. They had turned down invites from various family members and even Tribe members had asked them to join their families but they said they wanted a quiet holiday to themselves. Berger’s mom had called and left the number to his Aunt Kate’s if he needed help. While he had been on the phone Claude had been eating a box of cold cereal laughing before he had to leave.
“Stop, your mother will be calling next.”
“Yeah, oh would you look at the time. I have to leave. See ya later. Love you.” He said getting up from the table and kissing Berger on the lips.
“Hate you.” Berger said as the phone rang. “Hello? Hi Martha.” Claude just laughed as he shut the door, he heard something hit it and realized it was probably the wooden spoon Berger had been holding in his hands. Poor Berger had been fielding calls all week about their plans, but it was mostly their mothers worried they were going to burn their building down.
“So did you thaw out your turkey?”
“I took it out on Sunday and now it is hanging out in the sink where it’s been since last night.”
“Good, so how are you planning to dress it?”
“Well, I was thinking of putting swim shorts and sunglasses on him.” Said Berger seriously while he was cutting up apples for the stuffing.
“George.” Berger cringed at the use of his first name.
“Sorry, I’m going to lather him in butter and rub him down with some lemon-pepper seasoning we found at the store.” Berger loved having these seemingly innocent conversations with Claude’s mother because anyone else listening would swear he was trying to make her blush. Claude would usually just laugh and save his mother from prodding him further.
“Are you going to stuff it at all.” She made it too easy for him sometimes but he had to reign it in a bit Claude wasn’t here to take the phone.
“Yeah, my mom gave me her recipe.” To say Martha was shocked at the innocent answer would be an understatement. She loved her son and by extension his partner, she didn’t understand completely but as long as they were happy that’s all she cared about.
“I still wish you boys were coming over for dinner tonight.”
“I know but last year was so crazy with us trying to go between Queens and Brooklyn, so this year we wanted to do it all low key.” Explained Berger.
“Well maybe next year we can have one Thanksgiving with all of us.”
“Maybe, that would be nice.” Agreed Berger that was what they usually did at Christmas. All the parents got along well, the only thing that irritated both men was that they had to keep the PDA down to almost nonexistent, because Claude’s dad Walter still wasn’t entirely comfortable with Claude and Berger’s closeness or the fact that Berger flirted with Martha and she usually gave it right back to him. Both men understood, but that didn’t make it any easier for an entire night.
“So what time are you boys eating?” Asked Martha.
“Well Claude should be home around 2 so probably 5ish.”
“Okay well I will let you go Honey and I will call back later to check on you.”
“Alright bye Martha.”
“Bye George.”
After hanging up with Martha he decided to get a jump on making the stuffing. He quickly got everything he needed and combined it in the pan.
“I think that was the easiest thing to make for this whole dinner.” He said to himself as he set it aside to cool. While it set for a bit he decided to watch some of the parade before he tackled the turkey. During this time he fielded a call from Jeanie and then Crissy called.
“Hello?”
“Help me.”
“What’s wrong?” Asked Berger with humor she always called with an SOS around this time on Thanksgiving.
“They keep asking me where my suitor is, and if we are courting why is he not here meeting my family. Then my 90 year old grandmother asked me if I was a lesbian, because she had read all about them and it seemed interesting.” She heard Berger laughing. “Stop it Berger! This isn’t funny!”
“Yes it is. Crissy if it’s that bad tell them you’re leaving to meet up with your boyfriends and come over here. Claude should be home around 2.”
“Are you sure? I know you guys wanted to just do a quiet dinner.”
“Crissy, your grandmother just asked and became interested in girl on girl action. So tell her you’re off to a threesome.” He said still laughing.
“I’ll try. Thanks Berger.”
“No problem, now go say hi to Grandma for me.”
“Bye.”
“Bye Honey.”
He then decided to get a start on the turkey he unwrapped it from the netting and plastic, Berger was extremely happy to see that the bird was thawed and squishy. He then grabbed the bag that contained the bag of guts and threw it away, his mom tried to tell him how to make gravy with them but he stopped her when he found out exactly what it was in that bag.
“Ahh, it’s a naked bird!” He said jokingly moving the wings around. He then looked inside and saw that it still had ice around the inside. “No, no, no, no. Shit! How is it still frozen it’s been thawing since Sunday. Crap what to do, what to do. Heat! Heat will melt the icicles in the turkey butt. Now what to use? Hot water will boil it, I don’t want that. Ooh hairdryer.” Berger ran to the bathroom and grabbed his hairdryer, why he had one he didn’t know he never used it. He brought it back out and plugged it in. While he was deciding the best way to do the thawing he realized he needed the baster to get the extra water out. “This is crazy, but it needs to be done.”
Claude got out of work early and walked into the apartment he thought it was odd to hear the hairdryer going, but he figured after this long of being with Berger anything was possible. He walked through the door knowing Berger hadn’t heard him yet and saw something that he never thought he would see Berger performing hairdryer sodomy on a turkey.
“Just what are you doing to the poor bird?” Asked Claude wrapping his arms around Berger.
“Oh hey, you’re home early.”
“Yeah, just in time to see the show.” Said Claude laughing.
“It was still frozen a bit inside so I thought I would help it a little bit.”
“By fucking it with a hairdryer, why didn’t you just run water through it?”
“I was afraid it would boil it that way.”
“Okay. So what else needs to be done?” Asked Claude sitting on the counter.
“Can you open the wine and peel potatoes?”
“Yeah what’s the wine for besides later?”
“Cause Crissy sent up and SOS and should be here in 5-4-3-2-1.” Berger responded as there was a knock on the front door.
“I’ll get it.” Said Claude smiling at the fact that they knew Crissy would hightail it out of there the second she could.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Said Crissy coming in as Claude took her coat.
“It’s no problem you know that so what happened?”
“You mean Banana-Berger didn’t tell you?”
“No I just got home.”
“Ugh my 90 year old grandmother asked me if I was a lesbian because I didn’t have a man at dinner with me, and the reason she asked was cause she said she read about it and it seemed interesting.”
“Here.” Said Berger handing her the glass of wine Claude had poured.
“Thank you. Are you sure you guys don’t mind me intruding?”
“Not at all, did you already eat?”
“No we didn’t even get that far before every one was all ‘Oh my god’ at Grandma.”
“You should have brought her with you we have more than enough food.” Said Claude.
“Next time maybe. I don’t know if her heart could take our brand of craziness.” Said Crissy said taking a sip of her wine. “What are you doing to that turkey Berger?” She asked as she heard the hair dryer starting up in the kitchen.
“He told me the inside was still a little frozen on the inside so he’s trying to thaw it.” Said Claude looking at her with humor in his eyes.
Crissy and Claude joined Berger in the kitchen and watched in amusement as Berger ran the hairdryer in the turkey butt and proceeded to suck out the water with a baster soon he declared that the procedure was done and spooned the stuffing in.
“How long does it have to cook for?” Asked Crissy.
“About 3 ½ hours I think.” Said Berger placing it in the pre-heated oven.
“Cool.” Said Crissy taking another sip of her wine. “What do you need me to do?”
“Nothing everything is done.” Said Berger.
“Everything can’t be done. There has to be something for me to do.” Said Crissy.
“There’s nothing he’s been working on everything since before I went to work this morning.” Said Claude.
“Dessert? Anything come on let me do something?”
“You can sit your cute little ass down have another glass of wine and keep us company.” Said Berger pouring her another glass.
“Where did you figure out how to cook, last time you almost burned the apartment down when we were on our way to have dinner here.” Said Crissy looking at Berger with amazement.
“I’ve always known how to cook, that night I just got a little distracted.”
“What? What could have possibly distracted you so much you forgot you had dinner for 7 cooking?”
“Um, we were in the bedroom for a little longer than expected.” Said Claude turning as red as the glass of wine he was currently nursing.
“Oh my god, you guys were too busy fucking around to remember food? Wow I need to find someone to have good sex like that with.”
“I thought you were seeing someone?” Asked Berger.
“I was, but when he found out that Angela and I had been together first instead of being turned on like most guys are, case in point you two. He called me a jezebel and ran in the other direction.” Said Crissy taking a sip of her wine.
“How long has it been since you’ve been laid?” Asked Berger as Claude started to peel the potatoes.
“You mean my vibrator doesn’t count? Too long like 2 months.”
“What?! Are you serious?” Asked Berger astonished.
“Yes.”
“Claude we have to help her.” Said Berger looking at his partner.
“I agree, 2 months is way too long to be without human contact like that. I should know I went a year and a half in Vietnam.” Said Claude taking another sip of his wine.
“Yeah, how did you get by without sex over there?”
“My hand has not been down my pants for that long since I was 13.” Said Claude with a laugh.
“Alright you up.” Said Berger after he put the turkey in the oven.
“What why?”
“Let’s go.” Said Berger taking both her and Claude’s hands and guiding them to the bedroom, although Claude was not protesting or confused like Crissy was.
“What are you doing?” Asked Crissy.
“You my dear are going to get laid properly, and we are going to help you. Right Claude?”
“Absolutely, let’s go Crissy.”
“Guys come on, let’s just do something else.” Said Crissy turning beat red.
“We are you.” Said Berger.
“Oh hell it’s been too long.” Said Crissy taking the kiss Berger was offering eagerly before turning and kissing Claude.
Berger took the moment Crissy was distracted with Claude to work on getting the small woman undressed before he went to work on getting Claude out of his jeans. Berger sunk down behind Crissy moving her shirt up her back while kissing along her spine as Claude’s hands rested on her ass. Soon the shirt and Berger were up to her shoulders and tapped her shoulder signaling her to lift her arms; Crissy broke the heated kiss with Claude and turned around to face Berger as he lifted the shirt over her head before resuming Claude’s kiss with her. While he had Crissy latched on to him, Berger reached behind her and grabbed Claude by his belt loops and reached for the button and zipper holding his jeans up. Expertly undoing them Claude finished the job by pushing them down around his ankles and stepping out of them and removing his shirt right after. He then reached in front of Crissy and undid her skirt strings and letting it pool at her feet before moving his hands up to cup her breasts, at this new sensation she moaned into Berger’s mouth. She then moved her arms from around his neck and Claude walked over to behind Berger and undid the man’s jeans and made them along with his shirt drop to the floor. Claude moved back to behind Crissy and once again started caressing her breasts while Berger worked to get her bra off of her so she would be as naked as he and Claude. When he realized what Berger was trying to do he moved his attention to working the woman’s underwear to her feet, not once losing contact with her collar bone where he had been feasting upon. Crissy broke the kiss with Berger to moan out loud at the sensations Claude had been working on her. She leaned her head back to his shoulder and moved her arm up so it was resting in his hair, Claude left her collar bone and moved to her lips, while his hands left her breasts and traveled south Berger’s hands took over pleasuring her there while Claude’s found their destination on her mound he gripped her there and it caused her to break the kiss with him to breathe deeply in while glancing down to watching his hands work on her. Meanwhile Berger took this opportunity to start kissing Claude over Crissy’s shoulder who was enjoying the feeling of being sandwiched between the two men and the feeling of Claude’s fingers still working on her. She decided she needed to do something with her free hand as her left one was still tangled in Claude’s hair, she decided to grasp Berger’s member, she felt his reaction when his chest slightly heaved against her’s, and it felt so good to her. There was not a body part on the three people that was not touching someone.
“Oh Claude, I’m so close faster please!” Claude heard her pleas and despite the haze he was in making out with Berger he moved his fingers faster within Crissy causing her breathing to hitch and quicken. Her chest heaved against Berger’s again causing sensations to ripple through the two. Unsure of who started the movement to the bed, all the three knew was that they needed get on it so I was more comfortable for them to do the next step. The act of walking to the bed didn’t deter Claude’s fingers and just as Berger started to kneel on it Crissy started to powerfully orgasm. “Oh my god.” Said Crissy repeating the same phrase over and over until it stopped rippling through her. Crissy collapsed on her back on the bed and started laughing when she suddenly had Berger looming over her for a kiss and she opened and bent her legs so the man could rest between them. He took the invitation as it was intended and laid down on top of her while Claude lay down beside her and started to suck on her nipple. “Ooh. Berger before you start condoms we need condoms.” Claude let go of her nipple with a pop and leaned over to their bedside table and grabbed a couple from the drawer. He handed one to Berger before resuming his feast of Crissy’s nipples. Berger worked the condom on and pushed into Crissy slowly before pulling out just as slowly. “You need to move faster.”
“I tell him that all the time.” Said Claude with a smile.
“Shut up the two of you I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Berger I said it had been a while, not never. Now speed up.”
“Okay.” Berger sped up and soon after he saw Claude sit up and move behind him. “Where are you going?”
“Right here.” Claude grabbed a condom off the pile they had made on the bed and slipped it on. He then positioned himself behind Berger and followed the pace the other man had set for going into Crissy.
“Oh my god.” Said Berger at the sudden sensation. Crissy took the opportunity to raise her legs up and hook them around both men.
The three continued on like this for a couple minutes when Crissy felt Berger go harder in her than she thought possible and she started contracting around him. Claude was also breathing heavier in his ministrations of Berger.
“Guys, I’m so close. Ooh I’m going to come.” Said Crissy moaning. Berger once again picked up the pace at which he was screwing Crissy and leaned down to kiss her. She welcomed the new pressure of the two men on her and eagerly accepted the kiss. Berger moving faster caused Claude to feel the need to pick up his speed, and felt his climax and Berger’s climax was growing as well. In perfect timing all three adults came together. Being sure they didn’t crush Crissy, pulled out of Berger and laid down on the bed beside her and Berger rested his head on Crissy’s collar bone before falling to her other side. It took a little while for their breathing to come back to normal and once it did the boys discarded their used condoms into the baskets on either sides of their bed.
“Wow.” Said Crissy.
“Yeah that was a great way to come home from work.” Said Claude with a smile.
“Well if it’s one thing we do good around here its screw each other’s brains out Claudio.” Said Berger with a smile moving on to his side to face his partner and their friend.
“Yes, we are really good at that. But I think it’s my turn to screw Miss Crissy.” He said looking at Crissy with a smile.
“Give me a minute I’m still vibrating from the last go around, I’m afraid I’ll give you false hope of your abilities if you go in now.” Said Crissy with a joking smile towards Claude.
“Wow she gets cheeky when she’s thoroughly fucked.” Said Berger starting to kiss the top of her breast again. Crissy’s fingers moved with their own mind into Berger’s curls scratching at his scalp as he pleasured her. Her other hand moved to Claude and grasped him around his member and tried to pull him towards her, he got the message loud and clear, set himself up with a new condom and settled between her legs and entered her. Her breath hitched and Berger took more of her breast in his mouth. She wasn’t sure which sensation was more powerful for her, especially now since Berger’s hand was tweaking her other nipple and Claude was kissing her on the mouth. Claude picked up his speed and Crissy started moving with him.
“Hmm, I’m going to come again.” She said breathlessly looking down at the connection between her Claude watching his member slide in and out of her, he gripped her around her lower back and changed the angle in which he was working a little and suddenly felt Crissy start to climax. The sounds coming out of her mouth made both men smile, this is the side of Crissy they loved seeing, the totally free side that didn’t think of anything but how she was going to work their members for more feeling.
“Claude!” To anyone else it would have sounded like the woman was in pain but the men knew from past experience that this was one of her most intense orgasms and it was only achieved by the two men currently pleasuring her. They knew this cause she told them many times. That most of the men she dated couldn’t reach this point with her. Claude fell on top of her in a spent heap. “Thank you.”
“It was absolutely no problem.” Said Claude suddenly tired. But still wanting more but this time from Berger.
“Tired, Claudio?”
“Yes, but I also need you.” He said rolling off Crissy and dispensing the used condom into the basket.
“All you have to do is say so. How are going to do this cause I doubt Crissy can move.”
“He’s right I can’t.” Said Crissy with a small laugh.
“I’ll get up.” Said Claude.
“Wait I can sit up.” Said Crissy moving up against the headboard like she was a puddle of liquid. Berger then moved up behind Claude all ready to go with his painfully erect member covered with a fresh condom. Berger moved so he could enter Claude there were times that the fact they were practically the same height came in handy. When Crissy saw that Claude was also erect she got a second wind and reached out her hand to touch him he glanced at her silently giving her permission knowing what she wanted to do to him. Crissy licked the head of Claude’s member and he jerked just a bit at the sensation of a foreign tongue and the feel of Berger being in him. Crissy took this as a sign to go further. Soon she was giving him a blow job while Berger screwed him, he officially felt like the luckiest guy in the world. It wasn’t long before Claude felt the build of his orgasm.
“Oh man guys I’m going to come right now.” He said with a moan.
“Follow me over, Claudio. I’m right there with you.” At Berger’s words he shot off down Crissy’s throat as she continued her actions. Berger moved Claude’s head to kiss him lovingly.
The three laid in bed for a little while before Crissy brought up a point that the boys seemed to forget about.
“Should we check on dinner?”
“Yeah I need to baste the turkey.”
“I think you already did that Babe.” Said Claude with a smile as Berger grabbed his jeans to go into the kitchen with Crissy and Claude following him as they got dressed Claude in his jeans and Crissy with just her underwear and one of the boys’ shirts.
Dinner was safe. A few hours later the trio sat down at the table and enjoyed their meal, laughing about some of the things they had gotten into over the years with the rest of the Tribe. When the phone rang.
“I got it.” Said Claude. “Hello?”
“Hi Sweetie, I just wanted to call and see how your day went and to make sure the fire department didn’t need to be called.”
“Hi Mom, dinner was great. Crissy ended up needing a rescue, so she came over and we just hung out and watched the parade, while the bird cooked.”
“Well that’s good Honey. I’m glad it all went well and I’ll call you tomorrow so we can make plans for Christmas cause we are getting together as a family all of us.”
“Yes Ma’am.”
“Okay well have a good night Honey.”
“Night Mom.”
Crissy and Berger just watched in fascination as Claude turned into a mama’s boy and then changed back to the Claude they knew in a matter of seconds.
“So I guess we can’t have a threesome for Christmas.” Said Claude.
“Damn, I was going to ask Santa for that too.” Said Crissy.