Tangled Web, Chapter 6
Jordan methodically packed Jennifer’s overnight bag, distracting herself with the simple task as she tried not to think about Jack’s absent re-telling of his weekend at Daddy’s. The very idea that DJ was there helping Perry out with the kids on the weekend was simply absurd; DJ was just a big kid himself.
That didn’t banish the thought or the doubts that curled in her stomach with ugly thoughts. Besides, Elliot had been clear when she said that DJ had moved on; he was no longer at Sacred Heart.
That made her feel a little better. She wasn’t jealous of DJ; she was simply jealous of the idea of Perry again. It wouldn’t be the first time she had fallen back on Perry as a standby simply because she wanted him to be as miserable as she.
Jordan sighed, firmly zipping Jennifer’s bag shut. She was happy now; Elliot didn’t expect anything from her, nor did Jordan expect anything from the blond in return. There weren’t cruel remarks made to cut, made to punish, made to make her suffer until she had turned up on her mother’s doorstep, in tears and soaked from the rain.
“Are we going to Daddy’s?” Jack asked impatiently from the hallway.
Jordan pulled Jennifer’s bag from her bed and greeted Jack with a smile. “Yep, Jacky. We’re going to Daddy’s,” she said. “Get your backpack, okay?”
Jack nodded and took off for his room.
Jennifer was still sitting in the livingroom of Elliot’s house, looking at a Dr. Seuss book, with a discarded Shel Silverstein book behind her. She looked at the pictures, hands spread on either side of the book curiously.
“Ready to go, Miss Jenny?” Jordan asked with a smile.
Jennifer looked up from her books, nodding to her mother. “Where’s Elliot?”
“I told you, Jenny. She’s been at a medical conference this week,” Jordan replied, scooping up Jennifer’s books. “She’ll be home when you come back from Daddy’s.”
“What ‘bout Janice?”
“He moved,” Jordan said shortly, hoping her clipped tone would prevent Jennifer from asking any other questions on the matter. “Come on, we’ve got to get going or Daddy’s going to go crazy.”
Jennifer nodded, taking her small backpack of books and dragging it behind her towards the door.
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“Daddy has to work a little late today,” Perry said apologetically to the two children, who looked bored out of their minds. “But we can hang out in Daddy’s office until we go home, okay?”
“Where’s Janice?” Jack asked impatiently. “He has good games.”
Jennifer rolled her eyes at Jack’s definition of “good”. She wasn’t sure that beating cars together (or anything within reach) was really all that good. She simply liked when Janice read to her; he did the best voices.
“He’s not here anymore,” Perry replied tiredly, and handed them both a legal pad and markers. “Just stay busy, okay? Daddy’s only got a little more work.”
Jack took the legal pad and markers with a long-suffering sigh while Jennifer discarded the pad and pulled out a book to look through.
Perry sighed apologetically, and picked up the phone. “No, I haven’t chosen a residency director yet,” he muttered. “I’ve got an excellent candidate in mind though; I’m trying to-yes, I know there’s plenty of-yeah, I get it, would you let me-fine, whatever. Consider it done within the week.”
He slammed the phone down, making Jennifer and Jack both jump.
“Aw, Daddy’s sorry, kids,” Perry immediately said, standing up. “Want to see Auntie Carla?”
Jack nodded vigorously. Carla was fun; when he dumped pencils on the floor, she started going on in words he didn’t understand. He might try kicking Jennifer to see if he could hear more of her funny words.
Jennifer didn’t look up from her book, engrossed in studying the funny characters that Daddy and JD sometimes made words out of. She didn’t understand them, and she wanted to.
Perry picked up the phone, hoping like hell he could get Carla to come keep an eye on them for a half hour while he finished up. Jack didn’t seem like he would be able to sit still for much longer, and Perry found himself sharing Jack’s restlessness as well.
It seemed like the few weekends leading up to JD’s departure, the younger doctor had spent those times at Perry’s apartment with Sammy. Even though weirdness had gone on, it was still nice to have an extra set of hands, something he wouldn’t have this time around.
Perry resolutely shoved it from his mind, knowing damn well that if he thought about it for too long, he’d be tempted to run to St. Vincent’s, grab JD by the collar and drag him all the way back to Sacred Heart (complete with ranting and insults).
Bad enough the kid had wormed his way into his life completely, even worse that Perry missed him.
Jack began ripping sheets out of the legal pad and throwing them at Jennifer, who promptly smacked him with her book irritably. Jack let out a yelp and threw his legal pad back at her.
Jennifer let out a shriek that could have brought down the rafters. Frankly, Perry was surprised it didn’t, seeing as Sacred Heart was a big lump of dying crap.
The door flung open then, an answering wail on the other side.
Perry’s head jerked up in surprise when he saw JD’s pale face and confused features, Sammy tucked into his side and crying at the sound of Jennifer’s howl.
“What the fuck are you doing back here?” Perry snapped.
Simultaneously, JD looked at Jennifer’s red face and Jack’s angry frown. “Are you beating them?” he asked incredulously.
Perry rubbed the bridge of his nose and swatted Jack smartly on the rear and then smacked Jennifer’s hand. “That is not how we behave,” he said sternly to both of them. “Jack, don’t throw things at your sister. Jennifer, two wrongs do not make a right.”
“But he-“
“She-“
“No more! Jen, you in that corner. Jack, that corner. Both of you stay there until I’m finished!” Perry snapped angrily, startling Sammy again, though JD had just begun to calm him down.
JD rolled his eyes, patting Sammy’s back comfortingly. “Shh,” he cooed. “It’s okay, Sammy, it was just a noise.” He glared at Perry as Sammy began to quiet. “Quit yelling; you’re scaring him.”
“So he’s a pansy just like you then?” Perry retorted without meaning the insult. Still, JD’s angry stare didn’t falter, and grew darker as a result of the words. Perry tried not to regret it, he did.
JD gently put Sammy down in Jennifer’s corner, ignoring the gurgled babble from Sammy and Jennifer’s response of smattered English. Jack looked over in feigned disinterest, but turned as soon as Sammy pinned him with a curious stare.
“Think what you want to of me, but don’t insult me in front of my kid, and don’t insult my kid,” JD snarled quietly. “I came by to pick up my last check, and when I walked by, Sammy got scared by the undead wails of Jordan’s spawn.”
“You big, girly hypocrite; you just insulted my princess,” Perry snapped in the same, quiet hushed voice to make sure the kids didn’t hear the angry tones.
“I owed you one,” JD retorted smartly.
Before Perry could respond, his phone rang on the desk. He jerked it up, answering it in a tone of voice he normally reserved for interns. The short conversation had a grimace sliding across his face. He slammed the phone back down, eliciting another cry from Sammy and Jennifer. Jack only sent a wary look.
JD glared at Perry once more. “Can you quit throwing temper tantrums in front of your kids? It’s no wonder Jack and Jennifer think it’s okay to throw things when they irritate each other.”
“A bump on the noggin never hurt anyone,” Perry snapped. “Don’t tell me how to raise my kids. I don’t tell you how many more ways you can make yours gay.”
JD made a furious noise that was between a growl and an indignant squawk. “I seriously don’t believe you sometimes.” He shook his head, heading over to Sammy. “I just came to check on you because it sounded like your hands were full of screaming children.”
Perry grit his teeth. The phone call had been another nurse saying that Carla had already left for a pre-natal appointment. Turk was in surgery and he wouldn’t call Jordan to spit on him if he were on fire.
He sure as hell wasn’t leaving his kids in that bacteria Petri dish called a daycare. How the hell did he keep finding himself in need of an extra pair of hands when JD was around?
Perry tugged Jennifer’s hand absently from where it was twisted in Sammy’s hair and pulled Sammy’s hand from where it was tugging impatiently at her shirt to get her to turn the page of the book.
“I’ve got my kids. Take care of yours.”
“He just wants to look at the pictures.” JD pulled another book from his bag (One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish) and plopped it in front of Sammy. “I can spare the time if you need me to help watch them until you’re done here.”
“I don’t need anyone, Newbie, least of all a man-child who will more than likely corrupt the rest of my family.”
It was a low blow, they both knew it. It didn’t stop JD from encroaching upon his personal space again, backing him to the wall and glaring at him.
“If you wanted this, why didn’t you ask me to stay?” JD finally asked, his voice wounded and every bit the whiny intern that Perry remembered.
He hated that JD was brought back to that. The kid had been doing so well, it seemed, but the lie tasted ugly in his mouth. Perry inspected JD’s pale skin, the way his scruff had grown darker.
“Look, JD, I-“
Perry cursed the sound of his beeper going off. Jack looked away knowingly, while Jennifer and Sammy turned interested gazes in the direction of the noise.
Perry pushed JD away none-too-gently. “We shouldn’t do this in front of them. I’ve got a code. Watch them?”
JD rolled his eyes and waved toward the door tiredly. He didn’t have time to mention he’d just gotten off of a killer forty-five hour shift, or that he and Kim had argued about him taking Sammy at all out of sheer exhaustion. He didn’t mention he hadn’t been sleeping since he’d moved, or that it was all he could do not to show up at Perry’s apartment with Sammy, demanding that Perry explain to him how the hell he was supposed to deal with losing two people he cared about now.
He didn’t care about Perry, not if Perry didn’t care about him. JD sat in Perry’s chair with a flump, and leaned his head to the side on the business chair. Perry’s scent was still embedded in the leather and he cursed himself for inhaling deeper.
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Instead of heading back towards St. Vincent’s, JD ended up strapping Sammy and Jennifer into his car while Perry took Jack and they drove towards the playground.
Sam and Jennifer babbled quietly to each other, passing a book back and forth and occasionally calling out for JD.
Jack, on the other hand, remained uncharacteristically quiet on the way to the playground. It didn’t go lost on Perry, but he decided not to push it since he had enough to think about.
Like how his heart had actually lifted (yuck) upon seeing JD’s face.
Once at the playground, Jack immediately took off for the jungle gym while Jennifer and Sammy played in the sand.
“Did you want me to stay at Sacred Heart?” JD asked quietly, sitting on a bench now with Perry in the twilight of the evening. It was cool and breezy, blowing against them and taking the quiet with it.
“Would it matter if I said yes? You can’t revolve your life around what other people want, Newbie.”
“It would matter because something’s changed and I don’t know how or why it did.”
“Not everything has an explanation. You’ve been a doctor too long for me to have to tell you that.”
“But we’re not like that…we’re not…”
Perry almost felt his heart lift at JD’s sputtered words, at his inability to admit what was going on, at his almost naïve innocence to this world’s more brutal realities.
“Don’t you think there’s enough labels out there without having to put a name to us as well?”
“Is there an us to even put a name to?”
Perry shrugged without responding. He leaned back against the bench, struggling to keep the stress and anger of the day show through now. He didn’t need it now, not when he was finally spending time with his kids, spending time outside of the hospital that was also time away from the too-quiet apartment, spending time with-
He stopped his thoughts there, hyper-aware of the man beside of him, of the warmth that radiated against his skin.
JD finally settled for the idea that Perry wasn’t going to respond and risked a glance in his direction, feeling just slightly more relaxed than he had been. He frowned suddenly, eyeing Perry’s street clothing.
“Is that my hoodie?” JD asked.
Perry grunted an assent, wishing like hell now that he’d never picked up the stupid thing, let alone put it on because he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t get away from Jordan’s smell in the bedroom, preferring any smell but Jordan’s, ignoring how it comforted him and helped him drift off finally.
“Yeah. Found it in your locker.”
JD wasn’t satisfied with the answer, but he didn’t push it either. “Still have that residency director position open?”
“Yeah.”
Perry nodded without saying anything more. Whenever work came up, the tension came back. When they stayed silent in the cold air, it was bearable.
So he stayed quiet beside of JD, wordless and hopeful, and for once, not remembering that Jordan had just left him for another woman.
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“What’s been into you tonight?” Elliot asked. Jordan’s reticent silence and thoughtful stares had been grating at her the entire way home from the airport, and had irritated her into the evening. “We’ve got the whole weekend ahead of us, and I’m not gonna spend it with someone who just wants to stare and glare. If I wanted that, I’d spend it with my mother.”
Jordan didn’t look amused. “I’ve just got some stuff on my mind, Stick. And if I were you, I’d watch who you compare to your mother.”
“Then I suggest you quit acting like her.”
“Drop it.” Jordan threw a plate into the dishwasher a bit harder than necessary, watching with grim satisfaction as Elliot jumped. “It’s none of our business to begin with.”
“I can’t help you with what’s wrong if you don’t tell me,” Elliot pointed out. “The only reason we’ve gotten this far is because we talk. If you want to sit around and have sex with someone who doesn’t want to talk, then you should go back to Perry.”
“Stick, don’t do this right now,” Jordan retorted warily. “It’s stupid stuff that’s already taken care of itself. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Elliot blew a piece of hair from her face irritably. “I do.”
“Then talk to yourself; you’ve been so good at it in the past.”
“Why are you acting like this? We’ve come too far in the last month alone for you to start sabotaging this. For christ’s sake, Jordan, we’ve talked about this!”
“Maybe we talk too much sometimes.” Jordan slammed the dishwasher shut. “How about a little less conversation and a little more action?” She sauntered towards Elliot, almost jumping herself when Elliot dodged the touch.
“Not when something’s bugging the hell of you. I’m your girlfriend, not a distraction.”
Jordan threw her hands in the air. “Fine.” She turned on her heel and walked into their bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her.
Elliot jumped at the sound of the door, rubbing her temples as she sat down. It wasn’t supposed to be like this; they were supposed to be happy. They were supposed to be getting along and having the relationship they’d been trying to have for the past year. JD and Perry were finally out of the picture, it was their turn to be happy now.
And now that they had it, Jordan seemed like she was throwing it all away.
Elliot wondered if Perry was any better at this relationship stuff than Jordan was.
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JD stared down at Sammy’s sleeping form quietly, stroking his back and pulling the light blankets over him. Perry had thrown him Jack’s old crib sheets, stating that the child didn’t need pink covers to finish what JD couldn’t in making him as girly as his father.
The berating was still there, the insults to his masculinity. In his own way, JD was desperately grateful for that. It grounded him, put him on flat feet, put him in a place where he felt normal again, though he wasn’t sure life would ever be normal again. He still didn’t even know what was going to go on tonight, if anything, and even if it did, he still wasn’t entirely sure he wanted it.
Fear and emotion began to beat a steady rhythm in his chest, making it feel as if he had a lump in his throat. Throughout this entire ordeal, the only thing that had remained steady was that Perry was as reliably an asshole as ever, and that wasn’t likely to change.
JD had changed, oh, he had changed. Irrevocably. And he didn’t know if it was for the better or not, but he knew it was close to being a permanent difference. He knew Perry, though reliably a bastard, had also changed.
And he knew that for sure, if for no other reason than when Perry came back, he sat down next to JD on the couch without another word.
Perry inspected JD’s tense figure carefully. The younger man looked a little lost and a lot thoughtful. Perry could practically see the lightbulbs flickering in JD’s head, blinking across his face like dying stars.
Emotions played across his face as well, Perry knew, but he was too tired of everything anymore to keep them hidden. Hadn’t he spent a good portion of his life keeping everything locked tightly away so no one could see? And what good had that got him? Everything was coming down around him, pouring like acid rain on a fresh wound.
The numbness was gone, had been gone since JD had left, leaving Perry with a scraped heart that still bled. He couldn’t stop picking at it, couldn’t stop from sleeping with JD’s hoodie while he’d been gone.
Perry realized he was staring when he noticed JD’s eyes inspecting him cautiously. For once, the kid’s eyes were almost unreadable, and Perry wished so very hard now that he could go back to being unfeeling, an asshole. It would be easier if that were the case, he could lose himself in a bottle, drink himself to a desolate inky place that was beyond anything he could see out of.
JD turned to face him, propping his head on his arm against the back of the couch. He cocked his head to the side, thought spreading across his features and making him look as if he were trying to figure out a particularly perplexing problem.
Perry turned to face JD as well. The silence was back, almost a spell that kept either one of them from saying how they actually felt, knowing it was too much to say, knowing there weren’t words available for their predicament, there wasn’t anything to be said anymore, there was only feelings to feel, thoughts to think.
JD felt his heart beat thunderously in his chest, fingers shaking as they rose to stroke at Perry’s five-o-clock shadow. Perry flinched at the touch, eyes never closing and never straying from JD’s face.
“Newbie…don’t,” Perry finally murmured in a voice that JD barely recognized coming from the older man. “You know where this is going. We don’t need this.”
“I beg to differ,” JD retorted in a voice that made Perry want to hit him.
“This some joke to you? Because we’re not laughing.”
“Who said I was joking?” JD’s hands didn’t stop their trembling as he rubbed a thumb over Perry’s cheekbone, wishing he had the initiative to kiss him again. He wanted that rough stubble against his face, the thin hard lips that would taste against his as if drinking cold water on a hot day.
Perry grabbed JD’s wrist across his chest, thumb rounding against the hard bump of JD’s radius. “Goddamn it, Newbie…don’t. Just-don’t.”
JD looked at him with a frown, skin burning where Perry touched it. He could feel the feather-light shaking of Perry’s hands, could feel the pounding rush of blood in his ears and in Perry’s jugular, could feel the steady inflation and deflation of Perry’s lungs as his chest rose and fell. JD struggled to breathe deeply again, but only managed to pull in more of Perry’s scent.
Perry grabbed JD’s other wrist, struggling to stop this, struggling to make sense of it, struggle not to pull towards JD, lean in closer to feel those damned jets of air against his mouth once again, feel JD’s fingers tighten and tense against his face, feel his own hands clench in response around JD’s wrists.
JD wanted to hit him. He knew the feeling was mutual, could still feel how Perry’s fist had rushed across his face, forcing him to feel, making him accept what he couldn’t change, making him think about the way his body was responding to this far more eagerly than he would have liked.
“You deserve much better than me,” Perry finally muttered, mouth an inch away from JD’s lips.
JD’s eyes burned, the emotion back within them again. “Don’t be a martyr. It’s not attractive.”
Perry narrowed his eyes.
“That glare quit working during my second year of residency,” JD said mildly, and slipped his hands down to Perry’s neck. “How about we just let this go where it’s gonna go and ask questions later?”
There were a billion reasons why Perry knew that was a bad idea, but not one of them came to mind and made itself known as JD carefully kissed him, a light brush of the mouth that was far more devastating than any heavy-breathing-full-on-making-out session they’d had yet.
Perry didn’t deepen it; he angled his head slightly to be more comfortable. His fingers shook with nerves, his stomach jumped around as JD’s hands slipped to his shoulders and trembled firmly on the muscles. The touch burned and made him ache, made him want, made him need, made him feel, made him alive.
JD only sat still (for once), memorizing how wonderful those lips felt against his, the broadness of Perry’s shoulders flexing underneath his hands, the way Perry’s knee was pushed against his own as if to create a barrier, how Perry’s hands stroked his wrists and sent goosebumps down his spine. He finally opened his mouth just a half inch or so, sliding his tongue out to affectionately play against Perry’s lips and teeth.
Perry finally groaned audibly then, hands releasing from JD’s wrists and sliding against his face as he leaned closer. JD only pushed back, leveling him to the couch and carding fingers through his curly hair. He aligned with Perry’s body on the couch, trailing one hand down to grasp at his hip, the other remaining clenched in his hair.
Perry jerked his hips up suddenly, trying to get closer to JD, hands racing under the younger’s shirt and feeling the spinal muscles ripple and clench.
“More, Newbie, I want more,” Perry grunted harshly, pulling him closer to his chest and running his mouth hard over JD’s neck, teeth scraping along his ear and jaw and collarbone. He needed to kiss him, needed to touch him, to feel him above him, feel the weight of the body against his own, feel the tenderness in his touch, feel the hate, the care, the fear and the hurt.
JD slid a leg in between Perry’s, almost groaning with relief when his heavy erection finally found friction against a hip bone. He did groan when he felt Perry’s answering arousal against his waist, pushing and tugging and taunting him to go more, to push back harder, to brand, to claim, to own.
JD ran his mouth over the cord of muscles in Perry’s neck, and bit down on a pulse point, feeling his cock jump at the responding gasp of arousal that escaped Perry’s throat, sounding as if it were torn and reluctant and needy all at the same time.
His breathing unsteady and his eyes half-shut from the feelings and emotions, Perry nudged JD’s head back up with his nose, fastening their mouths together again, air rushing in and out of his nose as he tried desperately to breathe without letting go of JD’s mouth.
“Goddamn it, JD, more,” Perry gasped, hands pulling at JD’s waist and beneath his shirt, fingers kneading against the skin.
JD buried his head into Perry’s shoulder, pushing harder against the other’s pelvis, trying so very hard just to find enough friction and rhythm to bring them both off. He didn’t know that he was even ready to try this whole “gay sex” thing to begin with, and honestly, it just felt so good to be on top of Perry’s body, feeling the muscles bunch and tense and clench, feel his voice rumble through his shoulder, and Christ, he didn’t want this to ever stop.
Perry seemed to be thinking along similar lines; he grabbed one of JD’s hands and pushed it beneath his shirt, jerking when he felt the warm fingers come into contact with his skin and dance patterns of eights and nines against the muscle. He wanted to lean into the human touch, wanted those hands to dance elsewhere, make new patterns against other skin, and fuck, anything to bring him off.
As it was, JD was gasping into his shoulder, making noises that were between whimpers and mutters, thrusting against his hips, still clothed and trying desperately to give them both what they wanted.
In the end, it was Perry who bit the bullet first, slipping a hand around to JD’s front and palming the bulge in the younger man’s jeans. JD very nearly whined, and raised wide, round eyes to Perry’s, eyes glazed over with too much lust to even ask him what was going on.
JD felt the shaking hand against his erection, wondering how it could possibly feel so good, not when he’d done this himself a million times, had girlfriends who had done this for him; how in forty hells could it possibly be so very different that he was almost bucking, trying to get that hand to grab harder, to move up and down, to do something, anything at all, Christ, he needed this so very badly, and he wasn’t even sure he’d be able to return the favor.
In the end, Perry helped with that too, pulling JD’s hand away from his skin and placing it over the bulge in his own khakis.
JD’s eyes were wide again, almost rounded in fear, the pupils dilated to the point that his eyes were a simple ring of teal against black. He squeezed experimentally, having almost no experience with this except with his own pleasure.
Perry threw his head back and groaned at the touch, and JD squeezed again, knowing that if he was going to die in the next ten minutes or so, then by god, he needed to make Perry make that noise as many times as possible at all costs.
But then Perry seemed to fight back too, running his fingers up and down the hard bulge in JD’s boxers, causing JD to moan once again and fuse their lips together. God, this didn’t make them gay, this couldn’t make them gay, they so weren’t gay; they just really liked handjobs, and for the love of god, he was thrusting into Perry’s hand like a fucking girl.
Perry was getting as good as he gave, breathing hard into JD’s mouth, muttering things he’d never remember again but desperately needed to say when neither of them would understand the unintelligible murmurs that ran from his throat and spilled over like a wave of horrible emotion that couldn’t be kept down anymore.
He broke against JD’s hand, spilling into his boxers and coming against his khakis, groaning hard and clacking his teeth against JD’s. His hand squeezed tighter and tighter against JD’s erection, and he dimly heard JD above him, groaning his release and shaking against him as if he were freezing. He collapsed, letting Perry’s hands and arms come around his waist.
Perry struggled to calm his breathing; struggled to ignore the growing discomfort of the semen in his pants, the way he felt JD’s jeans against his own, how he didn’t want to move and just wanted JD to lay there with him and just forget about the world.
They couldn’t do that; even Perry drew the line at some places. He gently shoved JD, pulling them both to a sitting position though his muscles ached.
Perry left the room for a moment and returned with sweatpants on and a pair of scrubs bottoms for JD.
“I want those back,” Perry muttered. “No making a shrine to me with them.”
“You shouldn’t be a deity either,” JD shot back absently as he headed for the bathroom. “It’s not attractive.” He disappeared behind the door.
Perry flopped on the couch with a heavy sigh expelling from his lips. Had they really just grinded on the couch with barely any real touching going on? They had. He couldn’t deny it now, couldn’t deny how much better he felt now, and all he really wanted to do was tug JD down to the bed and fall into a deep, careless sleep in which he woke up and the kid was curled around him.
Even Perry didn’t think JD would want to curl around him anymore, not like he might’ve done in years past.
JD exited the bathroom then, tying the scrubs bottoms in a motion that was practiced and spoke of how long he’d been wearing them.
Perry stared critically at JD’s flushed face, his warmish skin, both heated with recent orgasm and pleasure. Perry then did what he considered to be the third dumbest thing in his entire life.
The first had been saying “fuck you” to his dad at age twelve, thinking he could get the other man to back the hell down from Paige.
The second had been marrying Jordan, though working for Kelso came in the top five.
The third was when he said to hell with everything, and took JD by the wrist. The hands were still intimate to him, and not something he was equipped to deal with anymore.
JD seemed to take care of that for him, however. The younger man raised an eyebrow and slipped his hand into Perry’s (gag).
Perry frowned when he barely flinched and tugged the kid into the bedroom. “The couch is uncomfortable enough for one,” he finally grumbled. “Least we can get decent sleep in here.”
JD stripped his tee off, revealing more pale skin that held bruises and bite marks along the neck and waist. He unabashedly toed off his shoes and sat down on the edge of the bed with the same stiffness that Perry had seen earlier on the couch.
Perry pulled off his own tee shirt, grimacing when he saw he had a few marks of his own, and smirking when he approved (ga-vomit) of JD’s return tactics. He kicked his shoes off on the way to the bed, and slid under the covers on his side.
“If you’re gonna sleep, you might as well do it now,” Perry finally snapped. “You weren’t so shy about fifteen minutes ago.”
“Sex is easier than intimacy.”
Perry felt his voice catch in his throat at the simple truth, and gave into the urge (again, Perry? Really?) to just be there for the kid and share his misery with him. He tugged on JD’s shoulder, pulling the younger man into the plushy covers.
In the end, there was no spooning. JD carefully studied Perry’s face, his hand stroking the older man’s jaw and cheek in sleepy, tracing movements. One of Perry’s arms wound around JD’s waist, pulling him close, but not so close they touched overly much.
And Perry was happy with that, content to sit and stare at JD’s carefully hidden face, feel the kid’s hands on his cheeks and chin and neck. He slid a hand over JD’s face suddenly and kissed him with a softness he didn’t realize he even had anymore.
When he pulled back, JD stared at him. “So what are we gonna do?”
“How the hell should I know?” Perry asked drowsily, annoyed that JD could even still be asking him stuff like this. “You act like I have all the answers to everything. Besides, I didn’t ask for this to happen.”
“But it did,” JD pointed out, voice hard and lined with more steel than Perry was used to. “So what now?”
“Now you shut up.” Perry kissed him again, harder than necessary and bit his lower lip. “And go to sleep.”
JD glared at him in the darkness of the room, but didn’t respond. He really was tired, and he had a lot to think about.
Like about where the hell this was even going. JD didn’t know, and a little part of him didn’t even care. Not when warm arms were wrapped around him, and he knew he’d been changed for good this time.
JD finally leaned his head into the pillow, hearing the older man grunt something affectionately (though it was difficult to tell the difference between “affectionate” and “outright cruel” when it came to the older man). Maybe he would just let it flow, let it happen; maybe this was the way it was supposed to be.
He felt more than heard Perry’s soft snores against his pillow, and felt sleep trying to take over him. He didn’t grin or smile; he wasn’t like that anymore. He was another kind of “that”, and JD felt his eyelids droop.
Perry mumbled something in sleep as JD straightened his legs out. The older man threw a leg over JD’s hip suddenly and kissed his forehead.
“Go t’sleep, Janice,” Perry muttered, arms tightening. “Quit moving.”
JD gave a wry grin at that and subtly kicked him under the covers before falling asleep.
Jordan knocked irritably on Perry’s door. Elliot had already gone to work when she had risen, a terse note on the fridge being the only indication of a goodbye. Normally, Elliot woke her up annoyingly early, goaded her into the kitchen with coffee, and then made a nutritious breakfast for them both (Elliot was fickle about her meals).
This morning, however, Elliot had only left a note saying she was giving an endocrinology lecture and wouldn’t be home until late, and for Jordan to not forget to get the kids from Perry’s.
Jordan snorted. As if she would forget them. Although from the length of time she had been waiting at the door, it seemed perhaps that Perry had forgotten.
“Would you get that?” Jordan heard Perry’s voice yell from inside.
The door swung open, and Jordan found herself face-to-face with JD, who was wearing one of Perry’s tees.
Jordan narrowed her eyes. “Perry got a new nanny?”
“Can it. Jenny and Jack are almost ready.” He stood to the side sarcastically. “Age before beauty.”
Jordan glared at him now instead of simply narrowing her eyes in warning. “Thin ice, DJ. Or did Perry let you join Jenny’s ice skating class?”
“She wanted to do gymnastics, I switched her class,” Perry said firmly, entering the room and looking freshly showered.
“Kids are just finishing up,” JD said to Perry and angled his head back at Jordan. “Pleasure as always.” He stalked out of the room.
Jordan glared at Perry. “What kind of shit do you think you’re trying to pull?”
“As I see it, what I do is none of your business,” Perry replied tonelessly. “If you’ve got a problem with it, I suggest you speak with your brand-new life partner about it while you listen to Alanis Morrisette.”
“Oh, grow up, Perry,” Jordan snapped. “What you do may be none of my business, but who you do certainly is.”
“You’ve lost that privilege, Jordaroo,” Perry pointed out. “Jack, Jennifer!” he yelled down the hallway. “Mommy’s here!” He glared at Jordan. “Not a word in front of them.”
“So they don’t have to deal with having four parents who swing for the wrong team? Whatever happened to your never-ending quest for normalcy, Per-bear?”
“Would you stop it already?” Perry asked. “You’re just acting like a spoiled brat.”
“Brat, brat, brat!” Sammy piped from around the corner of the couch. He gleefully waved a chubby fist, proud of himself for picking up yet another word to show Mommy when he went back home.
Jordan glared at the kid, but tried again to say nothing. “Jack, Jennifer. Come on, let’s go home.”
Jack understood the tension almost immediately, and sent a curious look to his father. He didn’t say anything though, and Jack just shrugged.
If it was anything bad, Mommy would ask him later.
Jennifer remained quiet as well, but Sammy kept yelling brat over and over again, even after Jordan had left with the children.
Perry picked up the child, scooping him up quickly to make him giggle.
“Brat!” Sammy said again.
“Got that right,” Perry muttered and sat down with the child to hammer on the plastic toys that had once belonged to Jack.