Comments | emilystar: Apologies for the cryptic shit.

emilystar

Apologies for the cryptic shit.

Dec 06, 2007 15:31

How much would you give up for the person you loved ( Read more... )

Comments 10

euro_trash_doll December 7 2007, 01:24:23 UTC

tough one. going through it right now ( ... )

emilystar December 7 2007, 02:38:48 UTC

Thankl you so much for such a detailed response...it helps, truly.

otheronetruegod December 7 2007, 01:25:15 UTC

My thoughts include you and me and some coffee for a chat.

emilystar December 7 2007, 02:38:28 UTC

That would be nice. Let's find time for that some time soon.

*hugs*

and_old_lace December 7 2007, 06:49:05 UTC

honestly i've given up myself and it really really sucks

emilystar December 10 2007, 18:55:56 UTC

these things are so difficult sometimes.

hwar December 7 2007, 17:31:30 UTC

I remember when I was first dating my husband and he said he was against compromise. I was sort of speechless, since it's drilled into us that compromise is the key to relationships. What he meant and stated rather clumsily is that he thinks it doesn't work when everyone is only 50% happy all the time. If you are constantly reaching middle ground, then nobody is happy (kind of like a two party political system!). His philosophy was that he'd rather be 0% happy some of the time and 100% happy other times...and you know, it works really well for us. Typically when we're making decisions, we give in to the person who "cares more"...and when we care equally, we work really hard to find something that we BOTH can sign on 100% with (or at least more than 50%). It makes interior decorating a challenge, and requires a lot of communication. We both have to be willing to give up sometimes in order for our partner to be 100% happy. It helps that we both have pretty laid back personalities; I don't know if it would work for every couple, but ( ... )

emilystar December 10 2007, 18:55:22 UTC

Thank you! That's a pretty interesting way of going about things - definetly something to think about and I like the logic of not settling for half way happy.

theomanic December 10 2007, 17:16:17 UTC

Wow Em, that's a pretty grim post ( ... )

emilystar December 10 2007, 18:54:06 UTC

Ah, Linda - thank you for such a detailed and thoughtful answer. I completely agree that what makes up a relationship is a complex mesh of two people and i's kind of hard for anyone to give advice on another's deal without knowing all the contributing factors. I think the main key for me is retaining your own happiness while still being considerate of the other person. If one of those things fails - that's a problem and to a certain extent, I have a problem...but yeah, as Tim says, this deserves a coffee and a chat sometime in the future.

Thank you though, please ramble at me anytime *hugs*