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为什么失去了，还要被惩罚呢？
2 more papers to go.
The days ahead will be very, very busy. Studying gives me too much time to think, even though i know i have to study.
I don't know why but I keep thinking so much recently. Somehow, that wall i built between me and pain is crumbling. Now I think it's better to not feel anything at all.
Maybe its the recent urge to listen to Mayday ( Read more... ) -
够了
Talking to G about 1993, we feel that he's really still a little boy. An unscarred, innocent, inexperienced boy at the age of 19.
Both of us? Overly experienced pair of 21 year olds, wondering whether to protect him or to wake him up from that safe, untouched world of his that merely grazed the tip of the iceberg that is life.
Honestly, I feel that ( Read more... ) -
想念是会呼吸的痛
My first blog post from the computer for a long time :D
Still awake at 5am, and I'm supposed to wake up at 10 plus tomorrow to meet Gernaine for lunch, and AJ's place after to mug )):
AND I ACTUALLY WENT TO P AGAIN last night HAHAHAHA. Went with G, Clara, Geraldine and Danny. I find it amusing that I can actually click with the SMU people; but the ( Read more... ) -
Changes
Was feeling abit sian a few days ago and I went back to read all my posts from day 1 I got this lj to this day. And I sure do not regret having this, because our memories have holes. Some of the things I did, felt or said a couple of years ago, I actually forgot. It's quite scary actually. How our memory fix themselves by omitting or lying to us ( Read more... ) -
Diseased
Went out to P again last night. Cos G and I said that it would be the last time before exams start. And rightly so.
A bridge full of people drinking, and we were the only ones equipped with snacks haha. And the ratio? 1:8. That's just on the bridge.
I honestly don't know if it's good to have boy magnets as friends. Would you feel overshadowed, ( Read more... ) -
The club strikes back
Had a unexpected confrontation with R a few days earlier. As expected, he just takes me as a "good" friend and nothing else. But idk wtf is wrong with their family - nothing also must say "don't expect too much from me". I think they should just man up. I don't like the way they think and talk.
Anyway, these are the few words I want to say before I ( Read more... ) -
Amor Nervosa Deliria
I feel so vulnerable. Like anything, anything at all, can leave me feeling sad.
Case in point today: watching the "Remembering ECP Macdonald's" for urban sociology. Where are my repository of memories?
That aside, I just finished reading delirium.
I asked myself: to protect my heart, would i go through the procedure?
I was really tempted to say yes. No ( Read more... ) -
Emo crap again
That emotional tsunami that AJ spoke of is visiting me now. I don't know why but I actually told R about it. Wtf is wrong with me?!
J popped up many times today. Too many. That's what happens when you get too attached. Must never let it happen again, not ever. The heart feels very heavy now. I think I have enough damage for a lifetime, and I'm only ( Read more... ) -
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Back here less than 24 hours later.
The light hearted stuff first. Had fun playing with all doggies at gentle paws (: it was noisy, drooly and all, but it's the good kind of nasty. I try not to see the ugly side of people but it's a juxtaposition I cannot ignore. The shelter rents it's place from the pet farm. The former is all mongrel, warm and ( Read more... ) -
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So much has happened since the last time I was here. I think I'll be posting almost exclusively from my phone from now on.
Somehow through many random twists and turns, I met R. Its really a long story. But in summary: G met L at the club, they bump into each other again 6 months later. R, who is L's cousin, started asking G about me on draw ( Read more... )