waiting for matthew before i head to washington for a potluck/dinner party with the girls plus boyfriends. i'm really excited. i made a salad with tomatoes, scallions, lettuce, yellow peppers, cucumbers etc. it's going to be delicious. anna got proscuitto and wrapped it in melon. kelsey is bringing deviled eggs and brownies, jamie is making ( Read more... )

i think that life has been unusually amazing lately. things with matt are wonderful. were going to see further in february. and a couple days later, SAVES THE DAY. i'm really excited. morgans band is playing next weekend at the pill which will prove to be very fun. also, i'm headed to lowell tomorrow with rachel, anna, matt and others to see rachel ( Read more... )

i can't even think right now. my mind is all fuzzy. i wish i had some fucking ambien or trazadone, or something. maybe i should take some benedryll. tonight is just one of those nights where..sleep will prove to be impossible. i hate when i get into my head too much. its retarded. i hate thinking about things and over-analyzing. all i want to do is ( Read more... )

this weekend was eventful. at around 7 am matthew crawled into bed with me while i was sleeping on friday. he skipped school and came to visit me early which was awesome. he went to all my classes with me and then we had lunch in the dining hall. we went to see tell stories this weekend at dos amigos with nikki and then went to jakes for a bit, ( Read more... )

i hate that i only get to see my boyfriend on friday and saturday. i hate the schedule of it all. its depressing.

this weekend was awesome ( Read more... )

went to the library today with jess and erin. they make me laugh. trying to figure out a damn halloween costume. fuck, why is there so much pressure to be something good? had a good conversation with erin about everything. made me feel better. sara too. her kind words towards my grandmothers situation really made me feel better and like i had ( Read more... )

ive been feeling depressed lately. i dont think people get it. im sick of being picked on. some of you dont even realize that you are doing it. i'm sick of feeling like a third wheel. when i'm home in derry i never feel like that. or when i'm with rachel, or jess, or kelsey. im sick of not being appreciated and im sick of doing things and not ( Read more... )

i think i'm going crazy. i really am.

i feel so cut off from the world right now. from everyone.

i had a dream i could fly last night.

just had a really good talk with nikki. i am a people pleaser, a pushover. i've grown up so much since the past couple of years. my fingers are cold ( Read more... )