clap you hands if you're gay/happy.

Mar 24, 2010 23:05

So my partner for the last 3+ years asked of me on Facebook to affirm his relationship to me. I did it, but only to not offend him. I'm second doubting it, not because of him... but because I'm not so sure with my first and last name (as is on facebook) anybody should know that much personal shit about me. I've never had a job where anyone could ( Read more... )

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emmerick March 26 2010, 07:30:14 UTC
I have so much anger from growing up with a bigoted father, I have little time for diplomacy when it comes to hurtfull comments directed my way. It's a catch-22 because I'm more willing to kick ass when offended by a comment, then to listen to why they said "said" comment. My temper is such shite, I'm such a douche in retrospect. I agree, friends the FB, but where is the real problem? Probably with my own anger. I hate being able to recognize my own flaws.

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emmerick March 27 2010, 04:11:31 UTC
It's so hard to have the patience/fortitude to try and deal with someones perception of homosexuality when they have the brain-capacity/rationale the size of a tic-tac... and anything that threatens them systematically ends in ignorance or retardation.

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sabotlours March 25 2010, 14:21:12 UTC
I agree with a previous comment that you could lock down your FB page to "Friends Only" if you're concerned about the info there. I've kept my sexuality a secret at work probably because it would break everyone's brains the tangled web I wove. It's really no one but my and my friends' business.

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emmerick March 26 2010, 07:33:05 UTC
I'm locking FB down chastity-titanium "big bear". I don't believe there's a "Sabot" explanation for sexuality, it might possibly kill us ALL! HARRRRRR! ;)

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ex_ka March 25 2010, 16:59:23 UTC
I think Facebook has made our private lives far too public. Even though I set my profile to Friends Only, my friends don't have all their info set private, so when a picture is posted of you or a relationship status changed, it becomes rather simple to figure out. Sometimes I don't even want some things to be known among friends. It's honestly made me consider deleting it.

I don't think you have to make your life into some martyrdom against homophobia. You shouldn't have to publicize your sexuality and open yourself up to hardship from bigots for some imaginary collectivist solidarity. Just stick up for yourself when the fight comes to your door, and speak up to defend the rights of the smallest minority--the individual.

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billis March 25 2010, 17:48:41 UTC
Ditto, by putting yourself out there, you're only strapping a target on your back that makes it a possiblity that some random fuck-up will take their mental problems out on you. Don't have anything about it on FB. No one benefits.

You'll have to love you partner a little harder to make up for the lack of a public statement, and maybe give him password access to your FB if it's more of a need to demonstrate trust...

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emmerick March 26 2010, 07:47:15 UTC
As long as I live, I'll never buy into having any sort of joint-account/password sharing experience with my partner. He already knows I'd kill for him, ditch the body and burn it without worrying about shite "personality" sites. The day he questions me about something as simple as my FB/MS account is the day I tell him to fuck off heartily. The day I ask him is the day I suck on a 12 gauge.

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billis March 26 2010, 20:48:01 UTC
What's the rationale behind your feeling that way? I ask because I've been in a relationship with someone who wanted my passwords, and did get them, because I didn't have any reason to maintain privacy. I didn't have a good answer when asked "Why are you reluctant, do you have stuff in there you don't want me to see?"

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dizziedumb March 26 2010, 03:05:14 UTC
maybe i'm just really, really lax about these things, but i publicly state my religious, political and sexual views on facebook. recently a chunk of my colleagues (including neurosurgeons and upper management nurses) have friended me online, and while i may work for a boastfully conservative christian company, i don't care in the slightest who finds out about these aspects of my personal life. why? because that's discrimination, and laws are in place for that. on one hand, yes, it's my personal life (and should i choose to keep it private, i have that option). on the other hand, i feel almost a kind of duty to represent and tell it like it is. someone has to. why not me and you? no one attacks me for voicing my lifestyle, and should the occasion arise, it wouldn't matter to me anyhow. delete the comment, or block the user, and wash your hands. i don't know... is there some grander level of harassment that you expect? and if so, why? i am not a gay male so i lack this point of view ( ... )

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emmerick March 27 2010, 04:27:10 UTC
I'm stoked there are laws in place, but as in all law matters, you basically have to prove within a shadow of a doubt they actually did discrimiate on you. Unfortunatley one's word is worth basically shite unless you have proof of the discrimination you are claiming readily available.

I so agree with everything you're saying, but your view is not one I know to be factual in my life, because no matter how correct it is, unabated hatred/disgust/discrimination has been directed at me before (regardless of right/wrong/ or any rationale), and it outrages me to think no level of intelligence or positive feedback on my part can change it with some of the fucking dolts out there.

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