Sacrifices - Chapter 2

Nov 05, 2009 09:27

Thanks to Kegel for the beta

Chapter Two: A Failed Rescue )

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robinfanatic November 8 2009, 19:04:20 UTC
Love seeing angry!Much, guilty!Will and Djaq trying to convince the outlaws of her plan. You've done a great job with Allan, too--he recognizes his weaknesses, he's guilty and remorseful, AND wants to help Robin.

Why Robin was fighting so hard to keep the man alive was a concept he could not grasp. He could understand the fate of what would befall the town if the sheriff died. But not that it was funny or anything, but the people could be taken out of the town. You couldn’t harm anyone if there was no one there to harm. Why Robin did not see this as a solution was puzzling to Allan.

Allan and the rest of us are pretty much on the same page regarding the flimsy excuse the writers came up with to keep the sheriff alive!

Just one editorial note, if I may: I think you need a break of some kind between these two paragraphs
But the others wouldn’t let him stay. That he could see now, in all of their eyes. He felt so pitiful, a creature hardly worth living, the guilt tearing away at him. He could never forgive himself, not for what he ( ... )

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emmithar November 9 2009, 07:34:21 UTC
Sorry for that, lol. I had a break there orginally, but I guess it got lost when I posted it. I'll add it in :)

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kegel84 November 8 2009, 19:26:43 UTC
Em needs to write more of this. (A)

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