Interesting Discussion of Sexism and Gender stereotyping

Sep 09, 2010 15:54

I had an interesting talk with a really good male friend of mine at the end of school today. (Trigger Warning: This post involves discussion about the sexism and gender stereotyping the statutory rape law.)

Primarily, we were discussing how "statutory rape" is viewed differently when it doesn't follow the traditional formula of "Older man, younger woman". If the older partner is the woman, no one seems to consider this "statutory rape". Also, if both partners are female their tends to be more leniency. If both partners are male, well then they're just horny dudes, what can you do? I find this sexist on many counts.

Now let me put a general disclaimer on this so as not to offend anybody. I think that in many ways, the statutory rape law is out dated. Just looking at my general pool of friends, most of them are over the age of 20, save those in my grade. that narrows down the dating pool quite a bit. That being said, I think there are situations when being with an older partner is harmful, no matter the gender of any concerned.

I'm only really going to look at the Het angle of this right now. My friend, who is a guy, and therefore see the world differently than I do, said that it was sexist, but sexist in favor of women. I really didn't understand this. And he said, well, basically it's sexist that women aren't typically held accountable for relations with younger people, so it's really sexist in *favor* of women.

I disagree. I see this as an example of the sexism so ingrained into our culture that we don't even think about it. I think that an older female partner tends to be overlooked because women are perceived as basically harmless. Because women are the "receiving" partner in sex, they're seen as the vulnerable ones. Now, that's not meant to minimize how very vulnerable taking something into your body can make you feel. Not at all. But it's also not fair to assume that it can't also make you powerful. Just because the woman's the one "receiving", it doesn't make her the passive partner. It doesn't even lessen her sex drive at all. It's just seen differently.

So basically, because women are viewed as the passive ones in sex, the general idea is that a woman can't really do much emotional damage to a younger boy she's involved with. I don't think this is true. I'm not saying it's true in every case, but it's certainly a possibility. Women think differently than men, as evidenced by my discussion with my friend, so the emotional and psychological pressures on a young boy *could* be very detrimental.

However, I think the other situation point is also unfairly sexist. I think that assuming all relationships involving older men and younger women are bad is unfair. I know that a lot of them are, maybe even, most. But not all. Speaking as a girl who has really felt like an adult since age 16, I can see situations where a relationship with a man four or five years older might be a good thing.

For one, a good chunk of the male population matures a bit between the age of 16 and 21. Not all of them, there are idiots in every brood. But i can see the instance were a relationship between a younger girl and an older guy might be beneficial towards the girl. It's not like dating an asshole gets any more pleasant when you turn 18 anyway, so the "guys take advantage" argument doesn't stick all that well anyway.

So, I suppose the conclusion I draw from this is that the law is sexist on both sides. It's sexist in the "older woman, younger man" scenario because it assumes that women can't do any damage. However, it's also sexist in the "older man, younger woman" scenario because it assumes that women can only be taken advantage of, and not form a meaningful relationship.

What are your opinions on this? I really want to know.

sexuality fuckery, thinky thoughts are thinky, srs bsnss, social bullshit, in ma head

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