le sigh
So I got my heart broken. The boyfriend and I broke up. It sucks really badly cos I'm still very much in alomst-love with him. I never thought it would hurt this much, but alas, it does. It's one of those situations where it's truly not your fault, but you can't help feeling that it is anyways. I can't help but to think about all the things I could've/should've done to help prevent this from happening. But I keep trying to convince myself that everything happens for a reason.
And hey, maybe we'll get back together. He could realize that he actually doesn't wanna live without me and that I mean far too much to him. Right now it just hurts. I'm staring at my cell saying to myself, "don't call him. if he can live without you, you can live without him. let him be the bigger person." But I realy just wanna call him and tell him how sorry I am and how much I don't wanna be broken up.
And the thing is, I'm a total wreck. I spent today in a pile of mush. For breakfast I had french fries diped in herseys chocolate sauce, for lunch I had onion rings and a moca latte and for dinner I had a massive serving of scollaped potatoes. And I watched soap operas all day and cried and just sat around being pathetic and getting fat. Eventually my friends stopped by and kidnapped me. We went to Friendly's and I had a MASSIVE Reese's cup sundae.
This, folk, is how I deal with emotional pain. See how healthy I am?
Oh and it's 2:30 in the A.M. and I have no intention of sleeping tonight. If I go to sleep I'll wake up and it'll be another day. Another day without John. If I don't sleep it'll just stay as one day without him. Cos maybe tomorrow he'll call and want me back. Course even if we do get back together nothing will be as it was. It'll be different. More awkward, more cautious. I liked being able to just be me around him. I never had to worry about what I said or did around him. It was just...right. Now everything's all wrong. And I don't like suffering like this.
And hey, maybe we'll get back together. He could realize that he actually doesn't wanna live without me and that I mean far too much to him. Right now it just hurts. I'm staring at my cell saying to myself, "don't call him. if he can live without you, you can live without him. let him be the bigger person." But I realy just wanna call him and tell him how sorry I am and how much I don't wanna be broken up.
And the thing is, I'm a total wreck. I spent today in a pile of mush. For breakfast I had french fries diped in herseys chocolate sauce, for lunch I had onion rings and a moca latte and for dinner I had a massive serving of scollaped potatoes. And I watched soap operas all day and cried and just sat around being pathetic and getting fat. Eventually my friends stopped by and kidnapped me. We went to Friendly's and I had a MASSIVE Reese's cup sundae.
This, folk, is how I deal with emotional pain. See how healthy I am?
Oh and it's 2:30 in the A.M. and I have no intention of sleeping tonight. If I go to sleep I'll wake up and it'll be another day. Another day without John. If I don't sleep it'll just stay as one day without him. Cos maybe tomorrow he'll call and want me back. Course even if we do get back together nothing will be as it was. It'll be different. More awkward, more cautious. I liked being able to just be me around him. I never had to worry about what I said or did around him. It was just...right. Now everything's all wrong. And I don't like suffering like this.