The Apinautica - Trapped in Dubai

[emo_snal]

   Continuing the book. Recall last time I had just left Australia (the first time) to go do some projects in Africa.

Escape from Dubai

I didn’t expect it to be so hard to escape Dubai.

Dubai, 05:20am [2013] - After walking what feels like literal miles through the shopping-mall-like Dubai airport I arrive at the in-terminal hotel. It’s

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[suzanna_o]

Continuity question: you write that you rolled your pants up and went into the ocean up to your waist, then later your passport was wet because it was in a lower pocket of your pants. You may want to clarify that, somehow, since the reader would suppose the passport is only damp, not saturated.
A separate note: if you’re trying to get past this being travel notes, you went here, then there, can you add a through line of why you’re traveling? Is it for beekeeping, research, or something else? I think that adding something of what you appreciate about Dubai might help in this essay, too. Is it all a giant mall, or was there something, anything, that you liked about it?

[emo_snal]

I would have thought its safely assumed something in a lower pocket of my pants would get wet if I went into water up to my waist?

As to the through line as to why I'm traveling, I definitely agree that context is important. It's addressed in the final two paragraphs of the previous chapter:

They’ll interview the finalists in Chico California in May. No problem I’ve got a project in Nigeria (I am told the king of Sakiland is eager to meet me) and in Egypt in April; instead of returning to Australia I’ll just travel from there to California if invited. I thoughtfully sip my coffee as outside the darkness slowly lifts towards morning.

April 2013   I leave my keys and the remaining rent money on the kitchen table and head out barefoot down the beach on a journey to circumnavigate the world, from which I may or may not return. Not without boots of course but carrying them so I could feel the sand here for potentially the last time. Some coworkers from the farm who give me a ride to Bundaberg town joke “if I were you I wouldn’t return

[suzanna_o]

Travel does involve a lot of tedium and waiting hours. As a reader, I do think there’s too little context to make it clear where you’re going, what this journey is for. What are you, the traveler in this retelling, hoping to learn, or teach? What are you anxious about?
I thought the wading into the ocean to your waist was a continuity error because I didn’t think someone would go into the ocean with a passport in their pocket and nothing to change into. I would guess then that the desert sun was hot enough to dry your clothes off? This is not to criticize you, just to raise possible points of query. I’ve been following your journal for a few years, and I wish you good luck with the book.

[emo_snal]

I think I must have forgotten the passport was in the pocket when I went in because yeah I wouldn't conciously expose my passport to that. Which might be worth mentioning ominously at the time of entering the water.

I'm hoping in the context of the whole thing, rather than just the bits here and there, there's a more clear through-line that I'm teaching beekeeping and anxious to do it well and somehow find a career in it; but the narrower context of this story I'm hoping while they have that background, that "trying to find something authentic in Dubai" which I mention a few times, is enough to move this section forward ::crosses fingers::

Not to come across like I'm just pushing back on all criticism, I think you've given me a good idea about mentioning the passport at the time I go in the water. And I'm definitely keeping in mind the overarching plot arcs and anxious to know how they're coming. I appreciate the feedback, thanks!