Personal Space says what?
Author: emocezi
Title: Personal Space says what?
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 872
Disclaimer: I do not own The Losers or Thor or Iron Man nor do I make a profit from this cracked out work of fiction.
A/N: So otherpervert and rabidx went to see Thor again and didn't invite me. And just because I live in another country is no excuse. Those bitches. ANYWAY. I told otherpervert that the fiction fairy would visit her in the middle of the night with some fun xover stuffs. AND LOOK. MAGIC!!!
“We're sending some help with you.” Colonel Rhodes announces at the end of the mission briefing.
“We don't need help.” Clay sneers and Roque clenches his hands into fists to keep from smacking Clay across the head. It's his shitty attitude towards Rhodes that's got them in this position in the first place.
“It's my personal belief that you need all the professional help you can get Colonel Clay. As it stands, General Mai's orders.”
For a moment Jensen is terrified that they're sending Stark. And the entire mission is going to be him fending off the advances of a crazy billionaire in a homemade metal suit. He's ready to dislocate his fingers just to get out of the mission.
Instead the door opens and this giant of a man walks into the room. He's got chainmail and a long red cape. Even a breastplate for the love of god. It takes Jensen a moment to figure out who the guy is, and in the three heartbeats it takes. Thor, Asguardian God of Thunder, has bounded across the room and plucked him out of his seat.
Jensen can feel his chest compressing, ribs creaking under the force of the hug. He very suddenly cant' breathe and wonders if this is how it's gonna be. Crushed to death by a Norwegian deity that controls weather patterns.
“Thor. Thor put him down. It's not him.”
“But he looks just like St-”
“Not him.” Rhodes states calmly, tugging at Thor's massive bicep until Jensen is set back on the ground. Jensen wheezes and finds himself staring up when a hand cups his jaw.
“Uncanny, that two people can look so alike. But yes, I see it now. His eyes are bluer. You have very nice eyes. And skin. It's very soft.” Thor tells Jensen, running a finger along his jaw.
“Um...thank you?”
“As I was saying. We're sending some help with you. Thor, this is Pooch, Roque, Clay, Cougar, and the young man you're currently mauling is Jensen.”
“Jensen. A fine Scandinavian name.” Thor lots go of Jensen's chin, then drapes an arm over his shoulders and tucks Jensen under his arm, which is shocking in it's self. Jensen's not a small guy, but Thor is bigger then Roque.
“Help me.” He mouths to Rhodes, who's smirking at him.
“I'll see you when you get back. Oh and Jensen. Tony sends his regards.”
“Of course he does.” Jensen pauses for a moment and then struggles away from Thor and his wandering hands. “Dude. I don't mind the hugs. I'm all for hugs. I like hugs. No one hugs me here because they're all afraid of physical contact. But no more groping.”
“Groping?”
“It's like. When....Cougs, help.”
“No.”
“I hate you. A lot.”
“No you don't.” Cougar grins. Apparently this is funny. Fucking traitor.
“Stop grabbing my ass.” Jensen manages, already feeling his face starting to turn red. His ears are burning.
“Ah yes, this is a taboo between warriors of your realm.” Thor nods to himself, face stern before he breaks into a smile again and grabs Jensen's hand, interlacing their fingers. “I shall hold your hand instead.”
“That's even gayer.”
“Holding hands is happy?”
“No its...gay. Homo? Man love?”
“How is this like two men loving each other? I have not even kissed you.” Thor's expression is childlike. He just doesn't understand. Jensen feels like an asshole when he tugs his hand away and puts Roque inbetween them.
Thor glances at Roque and then stares. Roque crosses his arms and glares, but instead of scaring Thor off, the God just throws back his head and laughs. Jensen shares a look with Roque, terror mixed with annoyance.
This guy is going to get them all killed. Jensen is sure of it. Cougar is muttering something to Pooch who's nodding and grinning. Clay and Rhodes are having a glare off. And Thor claps Roque on the shoulder.
“I know you are not Heimdall. But seeing your face gives me great joy.” Then he picks Roque off his feet in the sort of bear hug Jensen got earlier. The hacker winces when Roque grunts, the vertebra in his spine popping.
“Thor. Stop mauling your new team. I need them back here alive and in working order.” Rhodie says blandly and Thor drops Roque back on his feet. Jensen tries to scramble away, but he's just not fast enough and Thor drapes himself across Jensen like a massive living blanket.
There's movement above him and Jensen realizes as Pooch takes a picture with his phone, that Thor is nuzzling nuzzling the top of his head like they're having some sort of chick flick moment. Apparently they've started dating in the ten minutes since they met and he wasn't informed.
Cougar hands a twenty to Pooch who tucks it into his pocket with glee and takes another picture, probably to send to everyone on his contacts list. Like Jensen doesn't have it hard enough to get female dates with Cougar and Roque cock blocking him every ten seconds.
Fuck his life.
Title: Personal Space says what?
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 872
Disclaimer: I do not own The Losers or Thor or Iron Man nor do I make a profit from this cracked out work of fiction.
A/N: So otherpervert and rabidx went to see Thor again and didn't invite me. And just because I live in another country is no excuse. Those bitches. ANYWAY. I told otherpervert that the fiction fairy would visit her in the middle of the night with some fun xover stuffs. AND LOOK. MAGIC!!!
“We're sending some help with you.” Colonel Rhodes announces at the end of the mission briefing.
“We don't need help.” Clay sneers and Roque clenches his hands into fists to keep from smacking Clay across the head. It's his shitty attitude towards Rhodes that's got them in this position in the first place.
“It's my personal belief that you need all the professional help you can get Colonel Clay. As it stands, General Mai's orders.”
For a moment Jensen is terrified that they're sending Stark. And the entire mission is going to be him fending off the advances of a crazy billionaire in a homemade metal suit. He's ready to dislocate his fingers just to get out of the mission.
Instead the door opens and this giant of a man walks into the room. He's got chainmail and a long red cape. Even a breastplate for the love of god. It takes Jensen a moment to figure out who the guy is, and in the three heartbeats it takes. Thor, Asguardian God of Thunder, has bounded across the room and plucked him out of his seat.
Jensen can feel his chest compressing, ribs creaking under the force of the hug. He very suddenly cant' breathe and wonders if this is how it's gonna be. Crushed to death by a Norwegian deity that controls weather patterns.
“Thor. Thor put him down. It's not him.”
“But he looks just like St-”
“Not him.” Rhodes states calmly, tugging at Thor's massive bicep until Jensen is set back on the ground. Jensen wheezes and finds himself staring up when a hand cups his jaw.
“Uncanny, that two people can look so alike. But yes, I see it now. His eyes are bluer. You have very nice eyes. And skin. It's very soft.” Thor tells Jensen, running a finger along his jaw.
“Um...thank you?”
“As I was saying. We're sending some help with you. Thor, this is Pooch, Roque, Clay, Cougar, and the young man you're currently mauling is Jensen.”
“Jensen. A fine Scandinavian name.” Thor lots go of Jensen's chin, then drapes an arm over his shoulders and tucks Jensen under his arm, which is shocking in it's self. Jensen's not a small guy, but Thor is bigger then Roque.
“Help me.” He mouths to Rhodes, who's smirking at him.
“I'll see you when you get back. Oh and Jensen. Tony sends his regards.”
“Of course he does.” Jensen pauses for a moment and then struggles away from Thor and his wandering hands. “Dude. I don't mind the hugs. I'm all for hugs. I like hugs. No one hugs me here because they're all afraid of physical contact. But no more groping.”
“Groping?”
“It's like. When....Cougs, help.”
“No.”
“I hate you. A lot.”
“No you don't.” Cougar grins. Apparently this is funny. Fucking traitor.
“Stop grabbing my ass.” Jensen manages, already feeling his face starting to turn red. His ears are burning.
“Ah yes, this is a taboo between warriors of your realm.” Thor nods to himself, face stern before he breaks into a smile again and grabs Jensen's hand, interlacing their fingers. “I shall hold your hand instead.”
“That's even gayer.”
“Holding hands is happy?”
“No its...gay. Homo? Man love?”
“How is this like two men loving each other? I have not even kissed you.” Thor's expression is childlike. He just doesn't understand. Jensen feels like an asshole when he tugs his hand away and puts Roque inbetween them.
Thor glances at Roque and then stares. Roque crosses his arms and glares, but instead of scaring Thor off, the God just throws back his head and laughs. Jensen shares a look with Roque, terror mixed with annoyance.
This guy is going to get them all killed. Jensen is sure of it. Cougar is muttering something to Pooch who's nodding and grinning. Clay and Rhodes are having a glare off. And Thor claps Roque on the shoulder.
“I know you are not Heimdall. But seeing your face gives me great joy.” Then he picks Roque off his feet in the sort of bear hug Jensen got earlier. The hacker winces when Roque grunts, the vertebra in his spine popping.
“Thor. Stop mauling your new team. I need them back here alive and in working order.” Rhodie says blandly and Thor drops Roque back on his feet. Jensen tries to scramble away, but he's just not fast enough and Thor drapes himself across Jensen like a massive living blanket.
There's movement above him and Jensen realizes as Pooch takes a picture with his phone, that Thor is nuzzling nuzzling the top of his head like they're having some sort of chick flick moment. Apparently they've started dating in the ten minutes since they met and he wasn't informed.
Cougar hands a twenty to Pooch who tucks it into his pocket with glee and takes another picture, probably to send to everyone on his contacts list. Like Jensen doesn't have it hard enough to get female dates with Cougar and Roque cock blocking him every ten seconds.
Fuck his life.