Why You Should Never Sneak Up On Elliot Spencer
Author: emocezi
Title: Why you should never sneak up on Elliot Spencer
Rating: R for Jensen's potty mouth.
Wordcount: 1058
Disclaimer: I do not own The Losers or Leverage nor do I make a profit from this work of fiction.
A/N: Decided to do another Leverage/Losers crossover. This isn't a part of the first crossover I wrote at all, it's it own separate little entity.
I hope you like. :D
It was a rare quiet night at McRory’s. There were no clients to meet with, no jobs to plan out, just the team hanging out. Hardison and Parker were having what looked what an odd conversation about pretzels, and from the look on Hardison’s face, he was trying to be serious. Parker seemed to be playing with the pretzels, making one chase the other around the top of the bar while talking in a loud squeaky voice.
Sophie and Nate were on opposite ends of the bar, ignoring each other while sneaking glances while they thought the other wasn’t looking. Apparently they thought the rest of the team were deaf, dumb and blind, not able to pick up on the tension that could be cut with a knife.
Hardison had made a comment the night before about them finally getting their UST out of the way. And when Parker asked what UST meant, the hacker had delved into a long winded explanation of something he called fandom, talking about how certain characters from certain shows had more chemistry with the actors playing the best friend then the actress playing the love interest.
Elliot had managed to escape before Hardison started the slide show, much to Parker’s delight. She was much more of a visual learner.
Tonight however, things seemed to be calmer, and Elliot was taking advantage of the quiet to enjoy a beer, served up fresh and cold by Cora. The redhead always had a smile and a free beer for Elliot, grateful to all of them for saving her fathers pub from being taken away by that snake, Mark Doyle.
Elliot was debating on staying for one more beer or if heading home early to catch the rest of the hockey game would be a better idea, when he was lifted off his bar stool. Arms like tree trunks were banded around his middle, pinning his arms to his sides.
It took a split second for Elliot to react. He threw his head backwards, intent on smashing the assailants face with the back of his skull, simultaneously pushing his legs on the front of the bar to knock the other man off balance and gain the upper hand.
As soon as he was released, Elliot whirled around, body ducking into a defensive position. He blinked at the tall blonde clutching his face, blood dripping from between his fingers. The entire bar had gone silent, and Nate was pushing his chair back to see what the hell was going on.
“Fuck, Elliot. Fuck. You broke my fucking nose. Again.”
“Dammit Jensen, what the hell have I told you about sneaking up on me like that?”
“Sorry for wanting to surprise my bestest ever friend. Fuck. You broke it bad this time. My nose is gonna be crooked, and I can’t pull that off. I don’t have your piratey good looks.”
“Stop whining and let me see.” Elliot grabbed the man’s forearms and pushed him into a chair, tugging away his hands and lifting his chin up. “That is definitely broken. Hold still.”
“Wait, wait. Shit, don’t.” Elliot pressed his thumbs to either side of the man’s nose, and even over the chatter that had once again filled the bar, the grating sound of cartilage grinding against bone could be heard. “Ow ow ow.”
“Stop crying. Cora, can I get a whiskey and a towel for my friend here?” Elliot asked with a smirk, patting the man’s shoulder and squeezing until the blonde hissed and swatted at his arm, the other hand firmly in place over his nose to keep blood from dripping all over the bar.
“I don’t even like whiskey.”
“Yes you do. Idiot.” The blonde sunk into his chair with a pout when Cora handed him a towel wrapped around ice. He sighed when the shot of whiskey was set in front of him and slung it back, grimacing at the taste and the way the rapid movement had made his nose ache.
“Uh...Elliot.” Nate’s voice held a note of curiosity. “D’you mind introducing us to your friend there?”
“Actually I do. Come on Jensen, I’ll make you an apology steak.”
“Can we watch apology baseballl?”
“No.”
“But-.”
“You can watch apology hockey.”
“Ooooh. Apology hockey is the best. Can I have apology cuddles?”
“No.”
“You’re mean.” The blonde hissed at Elliot, getting up from his seat on the bar stool to tower over the hitter. “I don’t even know why I wanted to visit you. You broke my nose and you won’t give me apology cuddles.”
“One hug.”
“It has to be with both arms. And last longer then ten seconds.”
“Fine.” Elliot sighed and held his arms open. The blonde wrapped him up in a bear hug and lifted him off the floor. After a full minute Elliot growled and was hastily set on the ground. The blonde, Jensen, grinned down at him, accepting a hard punch in the shoulder for the action.
“So how do you know this guy?” Hardison asked as Elliot picked up his jacket from the barstool. “I mean, it seems like you know each other pretty well. I’ve never seen Elliot hug anyone.”
“You’ve just been hanging around the wrong people. I’ve seen Elliot do-”
“Jensen.”
“Oh right....that night never happened. Sorry. Elliot never does anything fun or interesting. You have my word.” The blonde held up his left hand. “You have advil right? At your place?”
“Yes I have advil.”
“Good. Because my nose really hurts right now, and not even apology steak is going to make it better. Also, you have to tell Clay why I have a black eye.”
“I’m not telling Clay anything.”
“He won’t believe me if I tell him I-” Sophie and Hardison exchanged a long look as the door swung shut behind Jensen and Elliot, cutting off their conversation.
“Give me ten minutes and I’ll be able to tell you everything about that man, up to and including his social security number, and his sealed juvenile record.” Hardison promptly decided and ran to collect his things.
Out in the street, Jensen sneezed, swore, clutched at his nose, and laughed to himself. Somewhere, someone was trying to hack his data. He hoped they had fun getting past the multitude of homegrown viruses safeguarding everything.
Title: Why you should never sneak up on Elliot Spencer
Rating: R for Jensen's potty mouth.
Wordcount: 1058
Disclaimer: I do not own The Losers or Leverage nor do I make a profit from this work of fiction.
A/N: Decided to do another Leverage/Losers crossover. This isn't a part of the first crossover I wrote at all, it's it own separate little entity.
I hope you like. :D
It was a rare quiet night at McRory’s. There were no clients to meet with, no jobs to plan out, just the team hanging out. Hardison and Parker were having what looked what an odd conversation about pretzels, and from the look on Hardison’s face, he was trying to be serious. Parker seemed to be playing with the pretzels, making one chase the other around the top of the bar while talking in a loud squeaky voice.
Sophie and Nate were on opposite ends of the bar, ignoring each other while sneaking glances while they thought the other wasn’t looking. Apparently they thought the rest of the team were deaf, dumb and blind, not able to pick up on the tension that could be cut with a knife.
Hardison had made a comment the night before about them finally getting their UST out of the way. And when Parker asked what UST meant, the hacker had delved into a long winded explanation of something he called fandom, talking about how certain characters from certain shows had more chemistry with the actors playing the best friend then the actress playing the love interest.
Elliot had managed to escape before Hardison started the slide show, much to Parker’s delight. She was much more of a visual learner.
Tonight however, things seemed to be calmer, and Elliot was taking advantage of the quiet to enjoy a beer, served up fresh and cold by Cora. The redhead always had a smile and a free beer for Elliot, grateful to all of them for saving her fathers pub from being taken away by that snake, Mark Doyle.
Elliot was debating on staying for one more beer or if heading home early to catch the rest of the hockey game would be a better idea, when he was lifted off his bar stool. Arms like tree trunks were banded around his middle, pinning his arms to his sides.
It took a split second for Elliot to react. He threw his head backwards, intent on smashing the assailants face with the back of his skull, simultaneously pushing his legs on the front of the bar to knock the other man off balance and gain the upper hand.
As soon as he was released, Elliot whirled around, body ducking into a defensive position. He blinked at the tall blonde clutching his face, blood dripping from between his fingers. The entire bar had gone silent, and Nate was pushing his chair back to see what the hell was going on.
“Fuck, Elliot. Fuck. You broke my fucking nose. Again.”
“Dammit Jensen, what the hell have I told you about sneaking up on me like that?”
“Sorry for wanting to surprise my bestest ever friend. Fuck. You broke it bad this time. My nose is gonna be crooked, and I can’t pull that off. I don’t have your piratey good looks.”
“Stop whining and let me see.” Elliot grabbed the man’s forearms and pushed him into a chair, tugging away his hands and lifting his chin up. “That is definitely broken. Hold still.”
“Wait, wait. Shit, don’t.” Elliot pressed his thumbs to either side of the man’s nose, and even over the chatter that had once again filled the bar, the grating sound of cartilage grinding against bone could be heard. “Ow ow ow.”
“Stop crying. Cora, can I get a whiskey and a towel for my friend here?” Elliot asked with a smirk, patting the man’s shoulder and squeezing until the blonde hissed and swatted at his arm, the other hand firmly in place over his nose to keep blood from dripping all over the bar.
“I don’t even like whiskey.”
“Yes you do. Idiot.” The blonde sunk into his chair with a pout when Cora handed him a towel wrapped around ice. He sighed when the shot of whiskey was set in front of him and slung it back, grimacing at the taste and the way the rapid movement had made his nose ache.
“Uh...Elliot.” Nate’s voice held a note of curiosity. “D’you mind introducing us to your friend there?”
“Actually I do. Come on Jensen, I’ll make you an apology steak.”
“Can we watch apology baseballl?”
“No.”
“But-.”
“You can watch apology hockey.”
“Ooooh. Apology hockey is the best. Can I have apology cuddles?”
“No.”
“You’re mean.” The blonde hissed at Elliot, getting up from his seat on the bar stool to tower over the hitter. “I don’t even know why I wanted to visit you. You broke my nose and you won’t give me apology cuddles.”
“One hug.”
“It has to be with both arms. And last longer then ten seconds.”
“Fine.” Elliot sighed and held his arms open. The blonde wrapped him up in a bear hug and lifted him off the floor. After a full minute Elliot growled and was hastily set on the ground. The blonde, Jensen, grinned down at him, accepting a hard punch in the shoulder for the action.
“So how do you know this guy?” Hardison asked as Elliot picked up his jacket from the barstool. “I mean, it seems like you know each other pretty well. I’ve never seen Elliot hug anyone.”
“You’ve just been hanging around the wrong people. I’ve seen Elliot do-”
“Jensen.”
“Oh right....that night never happened. Sorry. Elliot never does anything fun or interesting. You have my word.” The blonde held up his left hand. “You have advil right? At your place?”
“Yes I have advil.”
“Good. Because my nose really hurts right now, and not even apology steak is going to make it better. Also, you have to tell Clay why I have a black eye.”
“I’m not telling Clay anything.”
“He won’t believe me if I tell him I-” Sophie and Hardison exchanged a long look as the door swung shut behind Jensen and Elliot, cutting off their conversation.
“Give me ten minutes and I’ll be able to tell you everything about that man, up to and including his social security number, and his sealed juvenile record.” Hardison promptly decided and ran to collect his things.
Out in the street, Jensen sneezed, swore, clutched at his nose, and laughed to himself. Somewhere, someone was trying to hack his data. He hoped they had fun getting past the multitude of homegrown viruses safeguarding everything.