Time
Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results
Sociability ||||||||| 26% Gregariousness ||||||||| 22% Assertiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Activity Level ||||||||||||||| 42% Excitement-Seeking |||||||||||| 38% Enthusiasm ||||||||||||||| 42% Extroversion |||||||||||| 39% Trust |||||||||||||||||| 54% Morality |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Altruism ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Cooperation ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Modesty |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78% Sympathy |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Friendliness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 71% Confidence ||||||||||||||| 50% Neatness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Dutifulness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Achievement ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Self-Discipline ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Cautiousness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Orderliness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Anxiety ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Volatility ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% Depression |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Self-Consciousness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62% Impulsiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Vulnerability |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Emotional Stability ||||||||| 30% Imagination |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86% Artistic Interests |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90% Emotionality |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Intellect ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Liberalism |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90% Openmindedness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 81% Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Test
So yesterday was our big anniversary. A whole year. I really am amazed at how far we've come. It started off as such a simple flirtation in school and escalated to so much more than I ever thought possible. We have made it through so many difficult times. First of all, we survived our last semester of high school. Prom and Graduation. The summer was an exercize in the lazy in-between stages of our lives. We lived like teenagers, devoid of responsibility or care. Yeah, there were arguments then, but they weren't terribly serious. Summer was great. We partied and lived in this whirl of pleasure. Everything was beautiful. I went to work and came home to someone waiting for me for the first time in my entire life. Summer ended far too soon, and I still can't think about the day he left without tearing up. I had no hope for our relationship lasting through college. It just seemed impossible. But we did make it. That first semester was terrible. We only got to see each other once a month. There were so many times that we almost broke up. I am so glad Morgan never gave up on us. We both made our foolish college mistakes, but no permanent damage was done. That leads us to Christmas break. We spent a whole month together exactly as we had over the summer. We did a whole lot of nothing but hang out together. And that was another awful goodbye. I decided not to return to school for another semester of pain, so we got a lot more time together than we would have. And now that's where we are. Morgan's in Arizona and I'm back home in California. Because we're so much closer we get to see each other about twice a month now and in March I am going to be moving to Arizona. I'm scared about this step, but I know that I can't really avoid it any longer. Will we still love each other when we have so many real worries? Will we argue about bills? Will we pay them on time? Who will do the cooking and the cleaning? Will I be expected to keep house? Will I find a job? Will Morgan be able to spend time with me? Will he be upset if I don't want to go to parties every weekend? Will we have fun? What about groceries? Will I make friends? Or will I be just as lonely as I am here?
Holy Jesus, this is a huge commitment and a huge step forward in our relationship. I know it's necessary, but I'm still so scared that it will rip us apart. The monotony of a life together will surely get to him. I want this, but I don't want to watch it deteriorate.
Make no mistake, I have made my decision to move, but these doubts still plague me.