(no subject)
Entry VIII
Time wore on and on at the store and eventually I had reorganized the entire store, head to toe. Not a single disc out of its position and every monitor and poster alligned like the moon and the stars. Of course I had to do the homely thing of going to my parents right after work and of course all my cousins, uncles, and aunts (except the ones TOO far out of state), were all waiting for me. I shook hands, hugged, did the cheek-kissing stuff, all in a robotic fashion as I tried not to show that my mind was troubled. Walking away from my relatives and heading to my room, I quickly put on the lock as I heard my relatives become distracted by someone or the other's newborn, well, under a year old, baby.
What are they planning to do? Shanon does have the audacity to throw me a bachelor party, and the thought crept into my mind several times that Janet, Claire, and herself would be the stars of the party, but then again, that was a part of me wishing to happen as well. Only slightly, though. Is Shanon inviting over everyone or is it just a closed party? A knocking noise was coming from my door but I just had to pretend it was coming from my mind and ignored the calling of my name from my parents. This kept up till about 7pm and I went out of my room to do the cake and presents, which included a Juice Mixer machine, a six-pack of Brand Beer, some gift certificates and a car or something.
At 8pm I announced that I would have to leave a quarter before 9 to make it to a party that my friend was holding for me (and might I add that was a perfect time to start saying goodbye to everyone because I was finally able to leave at 8:40) and I wanted to be on time.
"Mom, Dad, is it okay if I take the car?"
"Do you have a license?"
"Well, yeah."
"Do you have insurance?"
"I don't know... do I?"
"You betcha!"
"Uh... thanks?"
"Are you alright? You've been like this all night, son."
"It was just, uh, a long day at work is all."
"Always was a drag for me to work on my birthday, too. Well, go have fun at that party then, but remember the rules."
"I'm 18 now, dad, I make my own rules."
"You always thought that. You really did."
"Bye."
"Take care, son."
I only knew which car was mine because it was the only one to react to my remote lock and I hopped in, turned the key into the ignition, and drove to Janet's house. Things were becoming more and more blurred and I don't know if I was making a big deal out of nothing or if I ate bad cake but I was just feeling really down and out.
I wanted to see Janet, dressed however she was, in the same outfit as the Emporer or in her daily attire, it didn't matter. I just wanted to see her.
One red light passed.
Maybe I wanted to see Claire in my mind, not Janet. Maybe I wanted both. Maybe I wanted neither. Maybe I didn't know what I wanted.
Second red light passed.
I saw an officer pulling into the lane next to me and just kept going about 10 miles over the speed limit, not really caring what would happen and as we came to the next intersection, he began to slow down as the light turned yellow while I just kept going at the speed I was going.
Yellow isn't red.
I turned onto the side of the road and parked. I got out of the car and started walking back to the intersection and sat down on the corner. Just by looking around, you could tell the city was asleep. Asleep at 8:56pm with a cop patrolling a small intersection. From the distance you could hear a car's engine roaring and roaring like thunder in the rain and it was just one of those foreboding feelings eminating from where it was coming from... then as if to answer the tone the car came speeding through the intersection like a bullet through a tin foil vest but there was a problem. From where I was sitting, I could see the police car starting to turn left onto the intersection because he had gotten a protected turn light to do so. The speeding car, however, came head on into the intersectin in all that I an hope were false assumptions of the officer going through the intersection (I say I hope that because otherwise this was of extreme mallice of the driver) and as soon as the sounds had came, they left.
There was a dead officer, arm torn and bloody through a window, and a drive hanging on his dashboard with his car crumpled into the top part of the police car. I couldn't move, or think, just stare. And stare. And stare. I thought about the party. I thought about my family. I thought about the officer. I fell down and began to suffocate on my thoughts. I called 911 and told them that I didn't know what to say but I had the intersection. I was shocked and had no feeling left at that moment. I sat down, I stared, and I cried.
Time wore on and on at the store and eventually I had reorganized the entire store, head to toe. Not a single disc out of its position and every monitor and poster alligned like the moon and the stars. Of course I had to do the homely thing of going to my parents right after work and of course all my cousins, uncles, and aunts (except the ones TOO far out of state), were all waiting for me. I shook hands, hugged, did the cheek-kissing stuff, all in a robotic fashion as I tried not to show that my mind was troubled. Walking away from my relatives and heading to my room, I quickly put on the lock as I heard my relatives become distracted by someone or the other's newborn, well, under a year old, baby.
What are they planning to do? Shanon does have the audacity to throw me a bachelor party, and the thought crept into my mind several times that Janet, Claire, and herself would be the stars of the party, but then again, that was a part of me wishing to happen as well. Only slightly, though. Is Shanon inviting over everyone or is it just a closed party? A knocking noise was coming from my door but I just had to pretend it was coming from my mind and ignored the calling of my name from my parents. This kept up till about 7pm and I went out of my room to do the cake and presents, which included a Juice Mixer machine, a six-pack of Brand Beer, some gift certificates and a car or something.
At 8pm I announced that I would have to leave a quarter before 9 to make it to a party that my friend was holding for me (and might I add that was a perfect time to start saying goodbye to everyone because I was finally able to leave at 8:40) and I wanted to be on time.
"Mom, Dad, is it okay if I take the car?"
"Do you have a license?"
"Well, yeah."
"Do you have insurance?"
"I don't know... do I?"
"You betcha!"
"Uh... thanks?"
"Are you alright? You've been like this all night, son."
"It was just, uh, a long day at work is all."
"Always was a drag for me to work on my birthday, too. Well, go have fun at that party then, but remember the rules."
"I'm 18 now, dad, I make my own rules."
"You always thought that. You really did."
"Bye."
"Take care, son."
I only knew which car was mine because it was the only one to react to my remote lock and I hopped in, turned the key into the ignition, and drove to Janet's house. Things were becoming more and more blurred and I don't know if I was making a big deal out of nothing or if I ate bad cake but I was just feeling really down and out.
I wanted to see Janet, dressed however she was, in the same outfit as the Emporer or in her daily attire, it didn't matter. I just wanted to see her.
One red light passed.
Maybe I wanted to see Claire in my mind, not Janet. Maybe I wanted both. Maybe I wanted neither. Maybe I didn't know what I wanted.
Second red light passed.
I saw an officer pulling into the lane next to me and just kept going about 10 miles over the speed limit, not really caring what would happen and as we came to the next intersection, he began to slow down as the light turned yellow while I just kept going at the speed I was going.
Yellow isn't red.
I turned onto the side of the road and parked. I got out of the car and started walking back to the intersection and sat down on the corner. Just by looking around, you could tell the city was asleep. Asleep at 8:56pm with a cop patrolling a small intersection. From the distance you could hear a car's engine roaring and roaring like thunder in the rain and it was just one of those foreboding feelings eminating from where it was coming from... then as if to answer the tone the car came speeding through the intersection like a bullet through a tin foil vest but there was a problem. From where I was sitting, I could see the police car starting to turn left onto the intersection because he had gotten a protected turn light to do so. The speeding car, however, came head on into the intersectin in all that I an hope were false assumptions of the officer going through the intersection (I say I hope that because otherwise this was of extreme mallice of the driver) and as soon as the sounds had came, they left.
There was a dead officer, arm torn and bloody through a window, and a drive hanging on his dashboard with his car crumpled into the top part of the police car. I couldn't move, or think, just stare. And stare. And stare. I thought about the party. I thought about my family. I thought about the officer. I fell down and began to suffocate on my thoughts. I called 911 and told them that I didn't know what to say but I had the intersection. I was shocked and had no feeling left at that moment. I sat down, I stared, and I cried.