Yesterday.
5:00AM
•Wake up
•Sleep
•Sit up
•Go over yesterday
5:30AM
•Wake up
•Wonder when I fell asleep again
•Wonder what it would feel like to continue an endless sleep
•Knock out until...
6:00AM
•Wake up
•Get up
•Do some Honors Trignometry/Pre-Calculus work
•Wonder why I'm attempting to do schoolwork
•Think about Mallisa
•Create a theory; Girls I want don't want me, girls I don't want seem to want me
•Put on a CompactDisc
•Switch it to OK Computer - Radiohead
•Listen to Exit Music (for a film) - Radiohead
•Relax myself by clearing out my thoughts
6:30AM
•Go to closet, grab first things I can see in there. Independent shirt, gray,black,&red.Black shorts.
•SeriesOfThoughtsAllClusteredTogetherThatLoseAllMeaning.
•Get ready for school
7:00AM
•Eat
•Cleanse
•Car
•CD
•change it
•change it, again, put in Amnesiac - Radiohead. Listen to Pyramid Song - Radiohead
•drive
•avoid accident
7:30AM
•arrive in parking lot
•sit in car for 5 minutes trying to find a reason to go to school
•none.
8:00AM-3PM
•Gone, can't remember first hand.
3:30PM
•Up in yearbook
•People giving me shit for never being up there
•Feel bad
•Feel guilty
•Work on Concept Mag
•Finish 2 sets
4:30PM
•Mr. C wants the one Chris made
•Chris stole the first spread from me
•Angrier
•Trying to remember why I already felt angry
4:45PM-4:50PM
•Frustration rising
•Leave the room
•No one noticed. Thankful.
5:00PM
•Arrive at home
•Grab a bag of ice
•Grab a butcher knife
•Throw ice up in air while in kitchen
•Slice it with the knife
•Take it outside
•Continue 30 minutes
5:30PM
•Wondering why the hell I'm doing that
•Throw last one in air, everything slows down. I see it. I attack it. everything speeds up. I break it. Can hear shards flying into neighbors backyard. Grim satisfaction.
6:00PM-5:00AM today
•No idea what's happening, feeling angry.
•Feel distant
•Not sure what's real and what's not
I was sober that entire time.
•Wake up
•Sleep
•Sit up
•Go over yesterday
5:30AM
•Wake up
•Wonder when I fell asleep again
•Wonder what it would feel like to continue an endless sleep
•Knock out until...
6:00AM
•Wake up
•Get up
•Do some Honors Trignometry/Pre-Calculus work
•Wonder why I'm attempting to do schoolwork
•Think about Mallisa
•Create a theory; Girls I want don't want me, girls I don't want seem to want me
•Put on a CompactDisc
•Switch it to OK Computer - Radiohead
•Listen to Exit Music (for a film) - Radiohead
•Relax myself by clearing out my thoughts
6:30AM
•Go to closet, grab first things I can see in there. Independent shirt, gray,black,&red.Black shorts.
•SeriesOfThoughtsAllClusteredTogetherThatLoseAllMeaning.
•Get ready for school
7:00AM
•Eat
•Cleanse
•Car
•CD
•change it
•change it, again, put in Amnesiac - Radiohead. Listen to Pyramid Song - Radiohead
•drive
•avoid accident
7:30AM
•arrive in parking lot
•sit in car for 5 minutes trying to find a reason to go to school
•none.
8:00AM-3PM
•Gone, can't remember first hand.
3:30PM
•Up in yearbook
•People giving me shit for never being up there
•Feel bad
•Feel guilty
•Work on Concept Mag
•Finish 2 sets
4:30PM
•Mr. C wants the one Chris made
•Chris stole the first spread from me
•Angrier
•Trying to remember why I already felt angry
4:45PM-4:50PM
•Frustration rising
•Leave the room
•No one noticed. Thankful.
5:00PM
•Arrive at home
•Grab a bag of ice
•Grab a butcher knife
•Throw ice up in air while in kitchen
•Slice it with the knife
•Take it outside
•Continue 30 minutes
5:30PM
•Wondering why the hell I'm doing that
•Throw last one in air, everything slows down. I see it. I attack it. everything speeds up. I break it. Can hear shards flying into neighbors backyard. Grim satisfaction.
6:00PM-5:00AM today
•No idea what's happening, feeling angry.
•Feel distant
•Not sure what's real and what's not
I was sober that entire time.