A SRD Con Talent Show
Title: A SRDCon Talent Show
Author: EmonyJade
Fandom: EVERYTHING. Merlin RPS, Supernatural RPS, Smallville RPS, Sherlock Holmes, Gaither, Lion King RPS, Saw, School Real Life, Johnny Depp RPS, Hilarious-Ass Comedian RPS, Singers To Make You Swoon RPS, Singers To Make You Gag And Punch Something/Someone *cough*billgaither*cough* RPS, 70’s/80’s Singers Who Are Gross And Passed There Prime RPS
Pairing: Colin/Bradley, J2, MES, Doug/Ry, Lissa/Hirschey, Michael/Phelps.
Rating: PG 13
Warning: MUCHO MUCHO innuendo and CrackTASTIC Ficness
Word Count: really? Does it need a word count?
Plot: Lissa arrives to a Con, The Stephanie Rebecca Derksen Con.
An Emcee, old but still somewhat cute although he is in his ripe sixties, enters the stage behind a podium and begins to read.
“Thank you all for coming to the SRDCon. We have a great line-up for you today so without further ado, I will tell you what we have planned.
Colin Morgan: Will have Lissa chose him to be either her servant for the day or Bradley’s (but he kinda hopes Lissa will make him be her servant cause he’s always Bradley’s (even though secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) he doesn’t mind all that much and actually kind of loves it) servant)
Bradley James: Will perform “We’re All Gonna Die: the roller coaster song” in full chain mail (bg vocals by Colin), after which he will do an awkward but still adorable strip tease out of the chain mail and into a tennis outfit. By the end of his act he will have changed 13 times and his wonderful facial hair will have grown to fulfill it’s hotttttt potential and he will accept kisses and petting.
Jensen Ackles: Will take of his shirt and pants and accept touches to any portion of his body.
Jared Padalecki: Will Also take off his shirt and pants and accept touches to any portion of his body while Jensen is taking touches and they will taunt each other with ‘who is better looking’ the entire time (at the end of the routine, Emony will steal Jared and lock him in her basement to do with what she wishes)
Michael Rosenbaum: Will enter the stage and do nothing but polish his perfect bald head.
Sherlock Holmes: Will say anything that the fan wants.
Ryan Seaton and Doug Anderson: Will do a duet of All I Want Is You, singing to each other, with a surprising ending.
Marshall Hall and Wes Hampton: Will sit on stage and cuddle while people ask questions and relish in the past and present long-distance relationship.
Jeremy Irons: (performing To Make You Feel My Love)
Tobin Bell: Will come on stage and give everyone there very own saw trap complete with working parts (some assembly required) (Lissa will receive severed arm from Saw VI)
Josh Hirschey: will perform a dancing lecture about Sexual Gender Sexual Politics dressed as a Hershey bar. And although, the suit will not melt when touched, if licked, kissed or placed in mouth in any way, it will melt (fyi- when wearing a chocolate suit, its usually best to be naked underneath) *holds out bucket to catch Lissa’s drool*
Multiple Arabian-ish Men: Will say nice things about Lissa
Johnny Depp: Will accept questions in which he will answer all in ‘Arrrrrgh’s to the tune of the Willy Wonka Theme Song
Bo Burnham and Stephen Lynch: Will be performing 2 songs (written together) about how Gay Jokes are always funny in a song and one entitled “How Much Is Too Much: time to push the FCC”
Josh Groban and Adam Pascal: Will be forced to play Chess (no singing or affairs will happen but just because it’d be meanly ironic)
Michael Phelps: Will stand on stage in naught but a Speedo, dripping wet, and perform a Gaither song. (although it would be more appetizing to have the gold medalist here, he is somewhere getting his picture taken)
Halloween: Will arrive on stage slow, leave slow, and in between have 12 hours of simultaneous purring, then 12 hours of sleeping, then purring, then sleeping….
Are we gonna have any other participants after the cat?
The Show will commence with David Bowie whispering songs into Lissa’s ear (its not romantic, its just that he doesn’t want to be responsible for a pandemic of Deafness)
Unfortunately, since only one person showed up, only two of the acts decided to come.
Enjoy your CON!”
Lissa gapes and then coos as she sees her cat saunter onto the stage.
“KITTY!” She yells and goes to run on the stage.
Unfortunately, she is stopped, not because something stopped her physically but because her eyes burn. There, on stage, Michael English and David Phelps in Speedos, dripping wet, singing Pray For Me.
Needless to say, Lissa didn’t stay at the Con for very long. But she did have a memory (albeit a bad one) to remember her entire life.
Stupid Moral of the Day: *Emony sings* You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need!
Notes: Although some people may understand, this was made for KatelynnLynn because she is AH-MAZZING! and she needs something to make her laugh.
P.S. This was made completely for profit, you can buy tickets at www.noreally_youactuallythoughttheywouldnameaconafteryou_yousorrygirl.com