So, yesterday was two years since I lost my cousin. The aura of anniversaries are much worse than the actual anniversary itself, I've found. I was more upset the week before than on the actual day. But then again, I did sit down with someone and talk to them about it for an hour, which helped a lot. It's still something unreal to me, though. ( Read more... )

Thanksgiving really hasn't been the same since we lost Erika, it's like she was the staple to everyone being together. The only family I have on Long Island are my two older cousins, their husbands, and their three kids. We've spent every Thanksgiving together besides this one; this year it was just my parents, Theresa and me. It's been a year ( Read more... )

Hey what's up. I should be writing a paper evaluating the value of fiction when describing politics, but I really can't write a thing right now! So, let me give you a quick update on my life: I had a show last week and the week before called "Aloha, Say the Pretty Girls" and it went very well. The more and more I do theater the more I want it to ( Read more... )

I walked to May Moore tonight by myself and went on the roof. I went through my phone book and there was not one person that I think I could call that I could talk to about what's on my mind. I've never felt more lonely in my whole life. I keep thinking of excuses or reasons for why I feel this way at this time but I can't rationalize anything ( Read more... )

Before I went home this summer I told my friend that this summer was going to help me find out more about myself. So far, it hasn't. I don't feel like I'm acting like myself at all and I'm doing things I told myself I would never do. I hate being inside my house but it's where I can't get away from. My body is aching all the time and I can ( Read more... )

I went for a bike ride today at Belmont Lake in the woods because that's what I like to do to just get at ease and calm down. When I went today I did the trail and all that, then I just decided to go down random streets. I rode my bike for an hour down streets I've never been down before and ended up in East Islip. Every face and every tree was ( Read more... )

When I'm home next week, I want to:
Go to the beach
Go see a show in the city
Go to the zoo
Hang out with Alex in New Jersey
Play baseball

Who's with me?

I hate making my schedule, it's always so stressfun because it brings me back to realizing that I don't know what I want to do. Do I definitely want to go to law school, or is being a teacher still something plausible? Do I really like doing theater to the point where I am going to start taking classes and maybe do something with it in the future ( Read more... )

I can't wait to be home. I miss everyone and I miss everything. I miss my bed and I miss the beach and I miss having no obligations. I need everyone around me and I just need to be able to dig my feet into the sand again. I need to go camping and have nothing to do except have fun and worry about invading Pennsylvania from New York. I want my ( Read more... )

I had the worst dream of my life last night, and tonight when I went to try to sleep I was having another one just like it but I made myself wake up. I feel like I should write down my dream from last night so that I do not forget it ( Read more... )