I am made of fail. Forgive me for the cruel way I tore out your eyes.

[enchant]

This is something I need to deal with.  The abject misery and blatant darkness inside

Comments

[ladygzb]

So, are you talking with a therapist about this stuff? 'Cause a therapist is the sort of person who knows how to help you learn to do things in a way that's more healthy.

[enchant]

I kinda do talk about the whole "men" thing and feeling bad about myself, self-esteem. But I had been feeling good up until recently. I know what the catalyst is, but I can't say. All I hear echoing through my head is "STUPID, STUPID, STUPID".

It may be wrong and awful. But it happens.

He said I should stop sleeping around. And I have as of last week stopped.

I feel so fucking empty, alone, and that the goals in my life might never be achieved. I want love so badly that I would do just about anything. And for that I'm stupid.

[ladygzb]

Maybe you ought to consider taking in a lot of your lj posts to show the therapist (and you) how much of your time you do spend agonizing over this sort of thing.

It's not good for you to constantly set yourself up to fail in something that's so important to you.

It's not very nice of you to treat yourself in a way that you'd NEVER treat anyone else. You should be nicer to yourself :) A therapist can help you learn how.

[ladygzb]

Hey, sorry I wasn't there to answer the phone. I had an MRI this afternoon.

So's you know, though, it is really, really setting off head/neck pain to talk on the phone, and I can't figure out what I'm doing to change it. It must be the way I'm holding my head, or something... I need to get some kinda phone headset, I guess.

[enchant]

hug

I recommend blue tooth.

[ladygzb]

Cell phone doesn't work well at home. :(