LJ Idol Season 11: Week 28 - Sawubona

[encrefloue]

link to the song

The Two Men of Pompeii

Salve, amāns mei.

Be well on this day.

I saw you see

the black pumice tree

defile the chariot of Sol.

I felt you feel

the crash of its wheel

upon our hallowed Terra's knoll.

As Pluto erupts in anger,

don't flee, my heart; let's linger.

Prized of Venus,

say, has she seen us

crawl beyond this garden gate

through the

Comments

[marlawentmad]

Oh, my heart. This is such a lilting melancholia. I adore your masterful use of language, as usual.

[encrefloue]

I'm touched by your reaction to the piece. Thank you!

[halfshellvenus]

This is such a fantastic poem.

I saw you see
the black pumice tree
defile the chariot of Sol.
This sets it all up-- the twisting of the verbs, the rhyming scheme, and the terrifying (and probably mystifying) reality of Vesuvius' eruption.

Prized of Venus,
say, has she seen us
And I really liked the echo of this stanza (and outer rhyming scheme) in showing the progression to and beyond these mens' death. They are now joined as ash, together forever, as a tragic ending they could not escape is rendered somehow beautiful by this small mercy.

I think you should try to get this one published. Truly.

[encrefloue]

Thank you for always looking for what lies in the text. I am truly moved by your response to this piece. Maybe one day it will have a wider reach! That would be a dream.

[rayaso]

This was a great choice, although I would be hard pressed to name just one favorite of your songs. Your ability to write new songs week after week is amazing.

[encrefloue]

That's incredibly kind, thank you! I fumble with coming up with plot lines (I think I made two true ones this whole season...?), so I am similarly amazed by your well-oiled fiction-writing machine!

[flipflop_diva]

I was wondering which one you were going to choose for this. I think this is a great choice :)

[encrefloue]

I'm so glad-thank you! :)

[halfshellvenus]

:D I think you already know that I am all over this choice as your "Best" of this season. It stands with your poem about ballet from last season as one of those entries that blew me away and seemed worth really trying to get published. Both are outstanding. ♥

[encrefloue]

<3 Thank you so much for this kindness. This song is special to me, as is that poem! I do feel some vindication on behalf of that ballet poem that this time around, I fought past my natural inclination to bye-out. It was a blow to leave after that poem, so getting to the point where this song could come out is such a gift to myself. That's definitely of my favorite things about LJ Idol-the grind is real, but with so many darts thrown, the prize is getting to see the ones that hit the target. I can't wait to read your bulls-eyes next season!