Unexpected Merlin Review
Because the season premier of Merlin was on after the season finale of Doctor Who, I still had the Notepad file open. This is what happened.
-Ah, the crossbow fodder has arrived. Oh dear, I hope that wasn't Sir Leon just bit the dust.
- Evil apparently doesn't hold with lippy. Checking Gwen's makeup first chance I get.
- Oh yes, because magic in the middle of the surprisingly bustling corridor is such a great idea. Was he just dazzled by Sir Hotness's smirk?
- Arthur in wearing-a-shirt shocker! And his hair's gone all flat.
- Gwen has (slightly unflattering) lippy, so still not even. Uther looking all old and vulnerable and generally heart-rending.
- Now look, I like Gwen, but she's being rather insufferably good-two-shoes very early in the season.
- Yes! Sir Leon lives again! That man's shrugged off a dragon to the face before now, to be fair.
- Agravaine keeping up the Hot Older Man quotient in Uther's absence.
- Why is the Pendragon family all mad, bad, or dangerous to know? It's like a family-friendly version of the damn Borgias.
- Bugger me, did someone just pronounced Samhain correctly? And again look! Inner pagan celebrating!
- Oh damn, Emilia Fox couln't do another series, then? It's a shame, though her acting chops do rule the screen.
- Old ladies: not that startling.
- Hey, the Callileach got pronounced correctly too! So much unexpected love!
- Please don't lean over an unconscious Merlin in that way, I'm trying to think clean thoughts here.
- Oooh, we've got the intense faces out already! And everyone's intense faces really have improved over the years, haven't they?
- Hello, Maya! Did you know you name means "the veil"? My decoy sense is tingling!
- The bantering's a bit half-hearted, but I like the idea of Merlin having a comfort blanket. Or possibly a little plush Arthur that he will never, ever, tell anyone about.
- Goat of DOOOOOM! No? Apparently not.
- Apple munch of DOOOOOM!
- Chicken of DOOOM! It's like an 80s slasher flick.
- Oooh, the power's gone out. You may have to cuddle for 20 minutes then try again.
- Screaming skulls, marvellous! Are they waiting for the question, too?
- Remind me never to move to Camelot. Weird shit scythes through the civilians on a twice-yearly basis.
- Goodness, the Gaius databse has finally run out of files.
- Again, a spot of desultory banter and then back to being scared.
- Children or flame? Children or flame? He's a knight of the round table, what choice is there?
- Why not close the sodding v- ah, there we go.
- Woah, woah Arthur, can't you dredge up someone from the dungeons for sacrificing? Someone, you know, less vital to the kingdom?
- Oooh, Agravaine! Even eviller than I thought.
- Oh, Morgana, your smirk of evil was always rubbish, but your vaguely incestuous glances are always suitably offputting.
- Hey, Uther, wanna volunteer? Credit to Tony Head- he sells both the stillness and the sudden desperation with utter conviction.
- They're all being so brave! And in two cases, going unncessary over Gwen. I appreciate there were only two pretty girls in Camelot and one of them is now spectacularly evil, but...
- Are Merlin and Lancelot sneaking off for yet another tryst? The subtext gets impressively texty with those two.
- The reappearance of the old-age makeup, and Morgana's patented suddenly-woken face. Hello, familiar touchstones.
- You could have, I dunno, stopped to bury them? Or left a party behind since you're in a hurry? Tch. Good guys these days are so untidy.
- It being a night-time operation, wouldn't a black tabard over the shiny armour be a plan? Because right now, Arthur, you're looking like a big shiny target.
- Merlin would look great in motley. No, he would.
- Oops. Merlin went for what I'll forever think of as the Rory-leap.
Next week: Slash Dragon! That'll warm Merlin up, right enough.
I don't think I'll be doing any more reviews for Merlin. I like the series well enough, but I tend to watch it passively rather than shout things at the screen.
-Ah, the crossbow fodder has arrived. Oh dear, I hope that wasn't Sir Leon just bit the dust.
- Evil apparently doesn't hold with lippy. Checking Gwen's makeup first chance I get.
- Oh yes, because magic in the middle of the surprisingly bustling corridor is such a great idea. Was he just dazzled by Sir Hotness's smirk?
- Arthur in wearing-a-shirt shocker! And his hair's gone all flat.
- Gwen has (slightly unflattering) lippy, so still not even. Uther looking all old and vulnerable and generally heart-rending.
- Now look, I like Gwen, but she's being rather insufferably good-two-shoes very early in the season.
- Yes! Sir Leon lives again! That man's shrugged off a dragon to the face before now, to be fair.
- Agravaine keeping up the Hot Older Man quotient in Uther's absence.
- Why is the Pendragon family all mad, bad, or dangerous to know? It's like a family-friendly version of the damn Borgias.
- Bugger me, did someone just pronounced Samhain correctly? And again look! Inner pagan celebrating!
- Oh damn, Emilia Fox couln't do another series, then? It's a shame, though her acting chops do rule the screen.
- Old ladies: not that startling.
- Hey, the Callileach got pronounced correctly too! So much unexpected love!
- Please don't lean over an unconscious Merlin in that way, I'm trying to think clean thoughts here.
- Oooh, we've got the intense faces out already! And everyone's intense faces really have improved over the years, haven't they?
- Hello, Maya! Did you know you name means "the veil"? My decoy sense is tingling!
- The bantering's a bit half-hearted, but I like the idea of Merlin having a comfort blanket. Or possibly a little plush Arthur that he will never, ever, tell anyone about.
- Goat of DOOOOOM! No? Apparently not.
- Apple munch of DOOOOOM!
- Chicken of DOOOM! It's like an 80s slasher flick.
- Oooh, the power's gone out. You may have to cuddle for 20 minutes then try again.
- Screaming skulls, marvellous! Are they waiting for the question, too?
- Remind me never to move to Camelot. Weird shit scythes through the civilians on a twice-yearly basis.
- Goodness, the Gaius databse has finally run out of files.
- Again, a spot of desultory banter and then back to being scared.
- Children or flame? Children or flame? He's a knight of the round table, what choice is there?
- Why not close the sodding v- ah, there we go.
- Woah, woah Arthur, can't you dredge up someone from the dungeons for sacrificing? Someone, you know, less vital to the kingdom?
- Oooh, Agravaine! Even eviller than I thought.
- Oh, Morgana, your smirk of evil was always rubbish, but your vaguely incestuous glances are always suitably offputting.
- Hey, Uther, wanna volunteer? Credit to Tony Head- he sells both the stillness and the sudden desperation with utter conviction.
- They're all being so brave! And in two cases, going unncessary over Gwen. I appreciate there were only two pretty girls in Camelot and one of them is now spectacularly evil, but...
- Are Merlin and Lancelot sneaking off for yet another tryst? The subtext gets impressively texty with those two.
- The reappearance of the old-age makeup, and Morgana's patented suddenly-woken face. Hello, familiar touchstones.
- You could have, I dunno, stopped to bury them? Or left a party behind since you're in a hurry? Tch. Good guys these days are so untidy.
- It being a night-time operation, wouldn't a black tabard over the shiny armour be a plan? Because right now, Arthur, you're looking like a big shiny target.
- Merlin would look great in motley. No, he would.
- Oops. Merlin went for what I'll forever think of as the Rory-leap.
Next week: Slash Dragon! That'll warm Merlin up, right enough.
I don't think I'll be doing any more reviews for Merlin. I like the series well enough, but I tend to watch it passively rather than shout things at the screen.