interlude truth | end of daydreaming
( WARNING: Gore, very slight references to suicide. The dream is written in prose for easier flow, but I would definitely prefer action tags. )
Even though the classroom was filled with people - students, all girls, all in similar school uniforms, sitting and standing wherever they can in the classroom; on tables, in windowsills, on the ground, anywhere - the atmosphere wasn't warm or lively at all. It felt cold, heavy, a heavy silence hanging in the whole room except for an occasional giggle from one of the sneering girls. They all seemed to be gathered around a different girl standing in the front of the classroom in a similar brown uniform, standing out because of her bright red hair. Her head hung down a little, as if she didn't want to make eye contact with any of the other girls. If one would look closely enough, they might have noticed there's something red about her eyes, as if she cried recently.
"Hey!! Are you listening to us?! It's not like anything'll be resolved if you just stand there hanging your head, right?!" One of the girls in the crowd spook up, giggling.
"... I hear you," the red-haired girl - Ange - responded, but her head was still turned towards the ground.
Another girl spoke up, nudging the one next to her. "Ah, you finally answered. You aren't thinking that this'll end if you stay silent, or that we'll forgive you if you cry, right?! We're asking if you are aware! We're asking if you are aware of the trouble you're causing those around you...!!"
There was only a slow nod from Ange in return as she started read something off a paper, something the other girls had made her write down during those tedious hours they had tried to 'correct' her behavior. "... I, Ushiromiya Ange, do not have a cooperative attitude and caused trouble for my classmates. There is nothing to blame for that except my excessive inferiority complex towards all of my classmates because I am unable to study. And," she paused for a moment, dropping the paper. This wasn't what they made her tell anymore, but what she needed to say herself. "... it's a shame that I am alive."
Some of the girls frowned at the sudden development, but most continued sneering and listening to what Ange said.
"That's right. It's a shame that I am alive. I should have had them take me with them on that day in 1986." Ange shook her head lightly. "Why am I here, I wonder? This is not the world I'm supposed to be in. No one will save me. I have no family. I've thrown my friends away too. There is no longer anything left for me. ... Why haven't I died? Someone asked that a short while ago. ... I think they're right. Why am I alive, I wonder? I should have died in the year 1986. ... No, I must really have died. But even so, my soul that was killed is still locked up inside this cage of flesh."
Finally she turned up her head now, looking towards the group of girls. "So I'll ask someone. If no one answers, ... I'll do it myself." An expectant pause, as the entire group of girls somewhat waited with baited breath.
"Someone---"
--- please let me die.
She couldn't finish that sentence, the words still hanging in the back of her throat. Perhaps because she suddenly realised how ridiculous it was. That wasn't right, this wasn't like the time she had really stood in front of those girls. She had family, friends, a boyfriend-- things to live for.
The realisation hit as if she was punched in the stomach, but when she looked down she saw there was actually something sticking out of her stomach, as if it had somehow hurled itself through her back and her guts without her even noticing. A long and thin black and red glaive, the same from back on that night. It disappeared as if pulled out again only a moment later, red blood slowly starting to stream out over her school uniform (no, over her regular clothes, they were slowly turning back to her usual jacket and shirt) no matter how much she pressed her hands against the wound to stop the bleeding.
She looked up at the other girls almost franctically, but they started to slowly warp into more familiar faces - all the people in Demeleier, including the people she knew well there, just standing there and staring at her.
"No.." Her voice almost shook a little in panic, somewhat broken, shaking her head to herself. "I-- I don't want to die..! I don't want to lose everything I have gotten only just now again, my happiness-- I want to live..!"
Even though the blood kept flooding out of the wound, slowly spreading out over the ground until it even reached the feet of the people, it didn't seem like she was actually dying ( - it's just a dream, after all - ) but nonetheless Ange herself seemed panicked enough over it, holding her hands over the wound as if it was the only way to stop herself from disappearing right there and then.
"Someone.. n-no, anyone, please, let me live!"
Even though the classroom was filled with people - students, all girls, all in similar school uniforms, sitting and standing wherever they can in the classroom; on tables, in windowsills, on the ground, anywhere - the atmosphere wasn't warm or lively at all. It felt cold, heavy, a heavy silence hanging in the whole room except for an occasional giggle from one of the sneering girls. They all seemed to be gathered around a different girl standing in the front of the classroom in a similar brown uniform, standing out because of her bright red hair. Her head hung down a little, as if she didn't want to make eye contact with any of the other girls. If one would look closely enough, they might have noticed there's something red about her eyes, as if she cried recently.
"Hey!! Are you listening to us?! It's not like anything'll be resolved if you just stand there hanging your head, right?!" One of the girls in the crowd spook up, giggling.
"... I hear you," the red-haired girl - Ange - responded, but her head was still turned towards the ground.
Another girl spoke up, nudging the one next to her. "Ah, you finally answered. You aren't thinking that this'll end if you stay silent, or that we'll forgive you if you cry, right?! We're asking if you are aware! We're asking if you are aware of the trouble you're causing those around you...!!"
There was only a slow nod from Ange in return as she started read something off a paper, something the other girls had made her write down during those tedious hours they had tried to 'correct' her behavior. "... I, Ushiromiya Ange, do not have a cooperative attitude and caused trouble for my classmates. There is nothing to blame for that except my excessive inferiority complex towards all of my classmates because I am unable to study. And," she paused for a moment, dropping the paper. This wasn't what they made her tell anymore, but what she needed to say herself. "... it's a shame that I am alive."
Some of the girls frowned at the sudden development, but most continued sneering and listening to what Ange said.
"That's right. It's a shame that I am alive. I should have had them take me with them on that day in 1986." Ange shook her head lightly. "Why am I here, I wonder? This is not the world I'm supposed to be in. No one will save me. I have no family. I've thrown my friends away too. There is no longer anything left for me. ... Why haven't I died? Someone asked that a short while ago. ... I think they're right. Why am I alive, I wonder? I should have died in the year 1986. ... No, I must really have died. But even so, my soul that was killed is still locked up inside this cage of flesh."
Finally she turned up her head now, looking towards the group of girls. "So I'll ask someone. If no one answers, ... I'll do it myself." An expectant pause, as the entire group of girls somewhat waited with baited breath.
"Someone---"
--- please let me die.
She couldn't finish that sentence, the words still hanging in the back of her throat. Perhaps because she suddenly realised how ridiculous it was. That wasn't right, this wasn't like the time she had really stood in front of those girls. She had family, friends, a boyfriend-- things to live for.
The realisation hit as if she was punched in the stomach, but when she looked down she saw there was actually something sticking out of her stomach, as if it had somehow hurled itself through her back and her guts without her even noticing. A long and thin black and red glaive, the same from back on that night. It disappeared as if pulled out again only a moment later, red blood slowly starting to stream out over her school uniform (no, over her regular clothes, they were slowly turning back to her usual jacket and shirt) no matter how much she pressed her hands against the wound to stop the bleeding.
She looked up at the other girls almost franctically, but they started to slowly warp into more familiar faces - all the people in Demeleier, including the people she knew well there, just standing there and staring at her.
"No.." Her voice almost shook a little in panic, somewhat broken, shaking her head to herself. "I-- I don't want to die..! I don't want to lose everything I have gotten only just now again, my happiness-- I want to live..!"
Even though the blood kept flooding out of the wound, slowly spreading out over the ground until it even reached the feet of the people, it didn't seem like she was actually dying ( - it's just a dream, after all - ) but nonetheless Ange herself seemed panicked enough over it, holding her hands over the wound as if it was the only way to stop herself from disappearing right there and then.
"Someone.. n-no, anyone, please, let me live!"