Better

[engelen]

Thanks to everyone who's been leaving supportiing messages. I'm really sorry my posts have been such downers, but you know... homesickness... Today I kinda feel like I wanna go back home, tho the idea of having to get on a plane again is such a drag that I just go "meh, let's go see the Capilano Suspension Brigde today."

Thursday was shit. I think

Comments

[kyvie]

Homesickness is a terrible feeling, especially at your distance! Roll with it bro, you got this. Once you start school and have regular distractions I'm sure it'll get easier to ignore the feeling - fake it til you make it etc

I hope eventually you feel safe there - I don't know what Vancouver is really like but I assume violence is an anomaly and not the norm there (unless you're mixed up in something). After knowing you I do not take being able to walk around my neighborhood at 3AM without seeing another soul for granted.

Glad you're exploring and treating yourself a little bit!

[engelen]

Yeah, I guess once I'm able to put my clothes into drawers, cook my own food and settle into a routine, it'll be easier for me to concentrate on chasing my dreams and being happy, etc.

This is not a violent place. I normally don't feel like I'm gonna get murdered, but the homeless people do make me feel a bit uncomfortable... mostly because I'm scared of being rude to them... Oh, and I DO hate the smell of pot.

Yesterday was a lot of fun at the Capilano Suspension Bridge ♥
I needed that "adventure" in my life.

[sowritesauds]

Wow. I don't smoke pot regularly... in fact the last time I did it was probably about 3 years ago. I've never bought it and I've never fixed it, just kind of joined in with the crowd. And yes, out in the open, in public (which is silly because there's still the danger of getting arrested). But I don't know why I never stopped to think about where the drugs came from and what that meant to the people in the areas where they're grown and sold. The situation in Mexico is clearly bad, very bad, and I am so thankful that you are no longer in danger by being there anymore. I definitely understand what it's like to be homesick, and all I can say is that it comes and goes in phases and it isn't really something you can cure by going home. It's hard to accept the fact that you're in a new place and all the things that are familiar to you are no longer within arm's reach

[engelen]

1) I love your avatar

[ungalad]

But still. In my mind, I can't disasociate doing drugs with murder.

Es bonito escuchar a los potheads de mi escuela criticando a Calderón y quejándose de la violencia y regalando calcomanías de "No+ [mancha de sangre]". Y por bonito quiero decir "chinguen a su puta madre". xD Er, sorry, también ando un poco sensible y te entiendo. :/ *hugs*

Por otro lado, me alegro de que andes conociendo lugares y de que con todo y el jamaicón te la pases bien. Ya pronto comenzarás la escuela, como dicen arriba, y tendrás más distracciones. Te quiero mucho. xoxoxo ♥ No te me achicopales, alégrate por las buenas nuevas. ;)

[engelen]

(siempre que veo lo de "no + [sangre]" pienso que es como que, un anuncio de toallas femeninas o tampones...)

Yo tambien siento algo bien parecido :/ es como que "vato, si te vas a quejar, hazlo por un ideal politico, no nomas porque extranas poder ponerte hasta el coco cuando se te antoje".
Puro hedonismo wey. Pinches cabrones.

[erniesaurus]

I'm sorry you're so homesick, and I'm sorry the people you were with were being insensitive. :/ Would it be possible find an exploring buddy? I know you've been isolating yourself, and I know if I were in your situation I'd be hesitant to reach out to people, but especially since you're scared of walking alone at night (which is complete legit and understandable, anyone who gives you shit for that deserves a punch in the face [which might be therapeutic?]), it might help. /probably unhelpful suggestion

[engelen]

I don' t think they were being insensitive on purpose. They just don't know. It's not their fault. The Mexican Drug war is clearly not a priority to states in the US that are not close to the border, much less should they be to Canada. I try to create international awareness, and I would have told her something, but that wasn't the right time.
Yesterday tho... I was THIS close to punching a middle-aged dude on the face after hearing him tell his middle-aged lady friend "You're in Vancouver, you're supposed to smoke pot!" And I am NOT a violent person.

[dearmisterecho]

I can understand why you would feel so uncomfortable with all that - where is your smoking-joints classmate from?

[engelen]

Somewhere in British Columbia. No reason for her to be aware of the situation going on in Mexico.

[dearmisterecho]

yeah, they're way more open about smoking and such in Canada because it's decriminalized.

I dunno about Canadian press but the American press does an awful job of covering what's going on in Mexico - I find out what's going on mostly through you :\ and I'm actually into the news...if she's not into it then there's no way she would know what's going on.

I think at some point of a similar situation happens again, it would help your case just to explain what's going on and that's why you're not comfortable with it.