What if ...

[englertdk]

it is YOUR fault

Comments

Relationships

[abond]

When I went to George a couple years ago, he said some things that really stuck with me. He mentioned that most of the situations I've been have been situations that are undeniably one sided. In other words, I had been undeniably victimized. But, since there's such a similarity between the situations, there is a question of my behavior. Do I turn women crazy? No, and though it is amusing, it's also a ridiculous thought. What happens is that there is a personality trait in me that's attracted to the type of people who will create these situations. "At fault" is a strong word, but I've certainly become comfortable with a certain type of failure in my interpersonal life. It took me realizing that it was a choice on my part to enter into said situations that helped me to work to a more healthy place. I had to choose to want a real relationship, or not want one at all. And when I wasn't looking, something kind of amazing blindsided me

[gwensoul]

It is never one persons fault or not so there is probably some element of you that was at fault, but at the same time you can't take on everything and say it was only your fault because that is going to far the other way. It is best to figure out what you can change and work from there, if you take all the blame you forget that the other person is human to and has their own role to play in a relationship.

So basically yes, you probably do have some fault, but not all of it and not even most or half of it in most cases (but I may be biased). Learning and changing what you need to is the only thing possible because there are always two (or more ;->) people who have responsibility in a relationship and take fault as well. The only fualt is never admiting and growing from the past.