left my ability to care in my other pants, all systems GO

[engulfed]

eagle: 0, me: 0, jet engine: 2. this is where i make my great escape, i am officially 21, why do i feel so fucking old. let's put this behind us & start again! i know i do this every five minutes! but what's a real alarm without a few false ones to heap scorn upon? admit it if there wasn't someone crying wolf all the time you'd be up on the hill

Comments

[tongueeatcheek]

I turn 21 in exactly 20 days. People keep telling me it's the beginning of the end, that after that, there's nothing really left to look forward to. I think it's a very demented and untrue thing to say. Feeling old for the first time is a weird experience.

[kuiskaus]

LOL. are these other twenty somethings?!!?? That sounds naive.

I'm about to be thirty three and I dont hide that fact. I'd much rather be in my thirties than twenties, absolutely no question there. If I could freeze time I'd stay in this little spot. Looks, mentality especially, confidence and real maturity, and good health= delightful. I'm speaking only about me of course.

wait til you hit late twenties and THEN thirty, boy then you'll be SO old and pathetic :D!!!

obviously you understand it's about perspective. I'm just saying I hear that every decade. Dwell and it's true- ta da!!

Enjoy your youth. It's a power that isnt earned and gets used up quickly.

[engulfed]

i feel like it's somehow legitimizing the fact that i already felt old. ugh. if i ever buy a tv & sit in front of it drinking warm milk, please come to brooklyn & shoot me in the face.

your attitude will fade, but your beauty is forever

[tongueeatcheek]

this is the face that makes me sit by the fire and write poetry to the glory of life and some of its more wonderous elements

[kuiskaus]

somewhere along the way you'll either make it in a way that pleases you or you wont. and then when you hit some age in the future you start to realize instead of dreaming big. It isnt dreaming that's the problem, it's the repetition of chasing down similar paths(then giving up) to get IT but IT's on the highway doing 900 miles an hour and way harder than any map in your head.

realization is the bad cliche that works.

[engulfed]

mmmm, bad cliches...i'm thinking there has to be some way to consciously TRY to give up, & tricking my brain into failing at that, then having a nice laugh at its expense.

then i realize that if i'm THINKING, my brain is already in on it, & my logic starts getting leaky

this journal is all melodrama soup these days anyway, i wish i felt more like writing in it when i wasn't in the middle of some half-assed existential crisis or another

[though they do make for entertaining metaphors]

Come and get your enema

[jibberish_joe]

just dont tempt the furies that repose at the gate acting as sentinels for our fair lady

Re: Come and get your enema

[engulfed]

dude you couldn't get a fair lady if you chloroformed her & stuffed her in an unmarked white van
come to think of it, you've probably tried