Politically Correct Ch.17
Japan life & new job is finally settling down into something stable.
Ended up having to re-read this fic and some old chapters of One Piece to get back into the proper state of mind. Once again, I blame BBC!Sherlock.
Title: Politically Correct
Rating: T
Word Count: 2,099
Pairing: Zoro x Sanji
Summary: AU set in the San Francisco Bay Area Nami has decided that she's tired of Sanji constantly chasing after girls only to be taken advantage of & decides to take a more active role in Sanji committing to a Real Relationship.
Disclaimer: One Piece = Eiichiro Oda =/= me.
Notes: Expect regular updates from here-on-out!
[Previous Chapters]
mnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmn
Sanji slipped his cell phone back into his pocket and turned his head towards the sound of heavy boots thudding on the metallic stairs leading up to the narrow passage he had found himself in after climbing in from the unguarded second story window. Looking over the steel railing and out onto the main floor of the warehouse-turned-film studio, Sanji estimated that it was a good twenty feet to the solid concrete floor below.
“Established visual with the intruder! Second floor, interior balcony.”
Sanji turned away from the railing and faced the men who had appeared at the top of the stairs, hefting guns at the end of the passage. He stretched his arms above him and rolled his head side to side. He could hear a new set of footsteps behind him. Sanji flashed the approaching men a smug smirk and vaulted himself over the balcony railing behind him without a moment’s hesitation.
Knees bent. Arms tucked. Roll. Sanji hit the ground hard, wincing at the twinge of pain in his ankle, but was immediately up and running towards a lit hallway he had caught sight of. The heavy clanging of heavy boots followed above him. Sanji could hear the men cursing and shouting at each other as they ran.
“Intruder is heading towards the captives. Send reinforcements.”
The voices were much closer this time; the men had reached the foot of the stairs before Sanji. The cook barreled into them before they could properly aim their guns. Sanji reached down and grabbed their walkie-talkies. He grinned down at them. “’Heading towards the captives,’ huh? Good to know.”
Sanji continued towards the hallway he had spotted earlier, but immediately changed trajectory as he heard muffled shouting coming from a just past it.
“Get AWAY from my face!”
“Could I please have my clothes back?”
Sanji sprinted towards the door as he recognized both voices.
“Stop it! Ow! What the hell are you trying to do?! Keep your fucking hands off of me!”
This time an unfamiliar voice chimed in, offended. “Pourquoi?! Are you saying there’s something wrong with my technique? Now, hold STILL.”
Sanji didn’t bother checking whether the door was locked and aimed the heavy heel of his foot at the weak area beneath the doorknob. The weak wooden door splintered open and Sanji found himself faced with the two girls and a tall skinny man whose face was caked with make-up. Everyone in the room froze and Sanji took in the scene before him. Vivi had her hands wrapped around the ridiculous looking man who in turn had Nami pressed flat against a table. “What the hell do you think you’re doing you ugly fucker?” The moment the words left Sanji’s mouth everyone snapped back into motion.
Bon Clay hopped off the table and gave twirling bow, ignoring Nami rolling off the table to kneel on the floor behind him. “Oooohh~ if it isn’t Sanji,” he sneered.
“If you hurt either of my two ladies…” Sanji made eye contact with Vivi and Nami, whose faces were powder white, eyes elaborately lined with dark swirls, and their lips and cheeks a bright pink and red. Sanji blinked and snarled out a “What THE HELL did you do to their precious faces?!”
Bon Clay scoffed, “you know, you should try using a bit of blush, maybe some bronzer. Take care of that pasty skin.” He pranced around Sanji who had edged away from the door and closer to the girls. “Having to disguise myself as you was perhaps the dullest costume work I’ve ever had to do.” Bon Clay gave a dramatic shudder, wiping the back of his hand across his forehead. “The uglification necessary to pass my gorgeous bone structure off as yours still gives me nightmares.”
Sanji grimaced. “Are you serious? Kohza mistook this freak of a man for me?” Sanji glanced at Vivi, “we’ve got really good laser eye surgery here in the states. We can set him up with an appointment tomorrow if you’d like?”
The young princess smiled up with him and let out a whispered, “Sanji, thank you for coming.” She reached up and grabbed her friend’s hand and he helped her up from the floor, Nami following suit soon after.
There was a loud crashing of metal and all three quickly turned towards the entrance with the now broken door. Bon Clay had pulled shut a gate of criss-crossed metal that Sanji hadn’t noticed earlier. The eccentric man gave a little wave and said, “Lovely reunion, but I’ve really got to prepare for the show. Try not to smudge your make-up before then! Tah-tah~” Sanji slammed himself into the gate, which rattled and shook, but showed no signs of giving.
“Well, shit.”
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
There was a soft splash as Zoro slipped into the water. He didn’t wait for Usopp to jump in after him before he began pulling the kayak out of the water and onto the rocky shore.
Usopp stood up on wobbly legs and tripped out of the boat, teeth chattering. “I th-th-thought-t-t th-that B-b-rook had-d-d ac-ctual b-b-boat-t-ts with a c-c-cab-b-in and-d-d heat-t-t.”
Robin, wrapped in a warm jacket and high boots, stepped out of the kayak she and Franky had taken. Franky offered her a hand to help her onto a rock jutting out over the water as she turned to look at Usopp and said, “Brook’s other available vessels wouldn’t have been very subtle; either because of the sound of engines or the visibility of sails.”
When all the kayaks had been safely pulled ashore and stashed a safe distance from the water, the group of friends made their way onto level ground and gathered in the shadow of a nearby building.
Luffy zipped up his hoodie, dark and warm, before complaining loudly, “Are we there yet?”
Usopp, wearing a matching hoodie, met Luffy’s complaint with a smack to the head. “Didn’t you notice that we’re on land now?”
Luffy frowned at Usopp. “Yeah, but where’re Sanji, Nami, and Vivi?”
Both turned at the soft rustle of clothing as Robin pulled off her black leather gloves and walked towards the closest street, dimly lit by flickering street lamps. “If memory serves…” she turned back to look at the tallest member of their group. “Brook, did we manage to land near the north-east shore of the island as intended?”
“Oh-ho-yo-ho! That we certainly did~! Right on the mark.”
There was a ringing of metal as Franky pulled the strap of a duffel bag onto his shoulder. Everyone had turned to stare at him. “Well, we gotta have the right equipment if we’re gonna pull off a proper rescue.”
Zoro placed a hand on the swords strapped snug against his hip and said, “I’ve got all the equipment I need right here.”
Usopp pulled out his slingshot and punched his fist into the air. “Me too. Captain Usopp, ready for battle!”
“Well then,” Zoro grinned, “I guess I’ll have my work cut out for me with you watching my back.”
Usopp quickly lowered his arm and stuffed his slingshot into his back pocket. “Haha, yeah, of course, but, y’know. I mean. I’m a long-distance fighter so I’ll definitely have your back, but it’ll… it’ll be from back here. Because. Slingshot. Not really good up-close. You understand,” he stammered.
“Me too!” Chopper piped in. “I’m really just support so, I’ll… support.”
Luffy tilted his head and scratched at his stomach. “Were we supposed to bring weapons?”
“Ahem!” Everyone turned to look at Robin, who now had a massive camera hanging from her neck. “I think Brook and Chopper should stay and watch the boats. The rest of us should try and find a way into the studio warehouse.” Her knee-high boots crunched the gravel as she turned away and briskly headed towards the shadow of the neighboring building. “Which would be this way,” she called over her shoulder.
Ten minutes of walking in silence later, Luffy dropped to the floor in a huff. “Can’t we just ask someone?”
Usopp pulled his hood low over his eyes and leaned in towards Luffy. “It’s said that Black Beard killed the natives that once inhabited Treasure Island. But not before burying his treasure somewhere on this island.”
To everyone’s surprise Luffy sat up and scowled, “Don’t be stupid, Usopp. Everyone knows that all the real pirates sailed in the Atlantic Ocean.”
Usopp stuttered out a loud, “Shut up! If we didn’t have pirates in California, then why do we have TREASURE Island?”
Luffy tilted his head, eyes growing wide. “That’s true! Do you really think there’s treasure here?”
“Actually,” Robin interrupted, “Luffy was right. Most pirates sailed in the Atlantic along the East Coast, Europe, South American, or the Indian Ocean. The only real pirates in the Pacific were those from Asia, but even they they stayed closer to their own countries and rarely, if ever, crossed over to California.” Robin looked up and smiled. “Not to mention the fact that this Treasure Island was artificially built in the 1930s. Its only connection to pirates is that the author of the book ‘Treasure Island’ spent some time in San Francisco.”
“Right,” Luffy stood up, pulling his sleeves up to his elbows. “Let’s get Nami, Vivi, and Sanji. And then we’re moving to the Atlantic Ocean!” He grinned at Zoro, “You’ll come with us, right, Zoro? We’ll need a swordsman.”
Zoro grinned back. “How the hell are you going to live in the middle of the ocean when you never even learned how to swim? I’m not going to spend the rest of my life saving your dumbass from drowning.”
Luffy’s eyes were glinting at the mention of a possible confrontation. “Yeah, let’s do it! Sanji and the girls are waiting!”
“Damn right, we’ve been fucking waiting.” Everyone’s head snapped towards the voice coming from a window on the building across the street. “So glad you guys could make it.”
Luffy grinned and sprinted towards Sanji’s voice. “Found you!”
The rest of the group soon joined Luffy under the barred window resting just a couple feet above their heads. They could barely make out Sanji’s blue eye and blond hair peeking down at them in the dark. Zoro smirked up at him and said, “I can’t believe you got yourself kidnapped, you idiot.”
“I didn’t get kidnapped, asshole. I agreed to go for a ride with some well-dressed men and may or may not have run into a complication once I found the girls.” Sanji returned the smirk, “Which, by the way, I did do. Rescued the girls, that is.”
Zoro rolled his eyes. “We’re the one’s here to rescue you, apparently.”
“Last time I checked,” Sanji smiled, “I snapped my fingers and here you are.”
“Well then, magical curly brows, let’s see you snap your fingers and get yourself out of this fucking mess.”
Sanji opened his mouth to grumble back at the swordsman, but his head suddenly disappeared from the window and in his place popped up Nami. “Right. Sanji’s an idiot and is terribly sorry. He bows down to all your manly prowess, Zoro, and will no doubt confirm this himself later with all sorts of sexual favors. I am sure.” She glared straight down at Zoro. “Now get us the fuck out of here.”
Everyone looked around a little unsure. Luffy tilted his head up and asked, “Can’t Sanji just kick the bars out?” Nami sighed and shook her head.
“No, this window is too high. Sanji can’t get enough leverage to reach it at full force.” She bit at the corner of her lip, “Not that he hasn’t tried.”
“Uhmmm…” Usopp nervously chimed in, “Exactly how much room do you have in there?” They watched as Nami turned her head to look back into the room appraisingly.
“Well, it’s not what I’d call roomy, but I’d approximate it’s about thirty-five feet by twenty feet? It’s longer than it is wide.”
Usopp nodded at her response and set down his back-pack, digging something out. “Aha!” He pulled out a handful of wires and blocks. “I’ll need you guys to stand as far back as possible and make sure you shield all your vital organs.”
Everyone stared at him. Franky peered at the materials in Usopp’s possession. “Dude, bro. Where’d you get all the explosives?”
“Goodbye present from Ace. And Chinatown fireworks from Sanji.”
Franky’s mouth split into a wide grin. “Need any help rigging it up?”
“Pleasepleaseplease,” Nami rubbed her eyes, “accomplish this rescue mission without getting me killed.”
Robin smiled up at her. “You might want to take cover.”
[ Next Chapter: 18 ]
Ended up having to re-read this fic and some old chapters of One Piece to get back into the proper state of mind. Once again, I blame BBC!Sherlock.
Title: Politically Correct
Rating: T
Word Count: 2,099
Pairing: Zoro x Sanji
Summary: AU set in the San Francisco Bay Area Nami has decided that she's tired of Sanji constantly chasing after girls only to be taken advantage of & decides to take a more active role in Sanji committing to a Real Relationship.
Disclaimer: One Piece = Eiichiro Oda =/= me.
Notes: Expect regular updates from here-on-out!
[Previous Chapters]
mnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmn
Sanji slipped his cell phone back into his pocket and turned his head towards the sound of heavy boots thudding on the metallic stairs leading up to the narrow passage he had found himself in after climbing in from the unguarded second story window. Looking over the steel railing and out onto the main floor of the warehouse-turned-film studio, Sanji estimated that it was a good twenty feet to the solid concrete floor below.
“Established visual with the intruder! Second floor, interior balcony.”
Sanji turned away from the railing and faced the men who had appeared at the top of the stairs, hefting guns at the end of the passage. He stretched his arms above him and rolled his head side to side. He could hear a new set of footsteps behind him. Sanji flashed the approaching men a smug smirk and vaulted himself over the balcony railing behind him without a moment’s hesitation.
Knees bent. Arms tucked. Roll. Sanji hit the ground hard, wincing at the twinge of pain in his ankle, but was immediately up and running towards a lit hallway he had caught sight of. The heavy clanging of heavy boots followed above him. Sanji could hear the men cursing and shouting at each other as they ran.
“Intruder is heading towards the captives. Send reinforcements.”
The voices were much closer this time; the men had reached the foot of the stairs before Sanji. The cook barreled into them before they could properly aim their guns. Sanji reached down and grabbed their walkie-talkies. He grinned down at them. “’Heading towards the captives,’ huh? Good to know.”
Sanji continued towards the hallway he had spotted earlier, but immediately changed trajectory as he heard muffled shouting coming from a just past it.
“Get AWAY from my face!”
“Could I please have my clothes back?”
Sanji sprinted towards the door as he recognized both voices.
“Stop it! Ow! What the hell are you trying to do?! Keep your fucking hands off of me!”
This time an unfamiliar voice chimed in, offended. “Pourquoi?! Are you saying there’s something wrong with my technique? Now, hold STILL.”
Sanji didn’t bother checking whether the door was locked and aimed the heavy heel of his foot at the weak area beneath the doorknob. The weak wooden door splintered open and Sanji found himself faced with the two girls and a tall skinny man whose face was caked with make-up. Everyone in the room froze and Sanji took in the scene before him. Vivi had her hands wrapped around the ridiculous looking man who in turn had Nami pressed flat against a table. “What the hell do you think you’re doing you ugly fucker?” The moment the words left Sanji’s mouth everyone snapped back into motion.
Bon Clay hopped off the table and gave twirling bow, ignoring Nami rolling off the table to kneel on the floor behind him. “Oooohh~ if it isn’t Sanji,” he sneered.
“If you hurt either of my two ladies…” Sanji made eye contact with Vivi and Nami, whose faces were powder white, eyes elaborately lined with dark swirls, and their lips and cheeks a bright pink and red. Sanji blinked and snarled out a “What THE HELL did you do to their precious faces?!”
Bon Clay scoffed, “you know, you should try using a bit of blush, maybe some bronzer. Take care of that pasty skin.” He pranced around Sanji who had edged away from the door and closer to the girls. “Having to disguise myself as you was perhaps the dullest costume work I’ve ever had to do.” Bon Clay gave a dramatic shudder, wiping the back of his hand across his forehead. “The uglification necessary to pass my gorgeous bone structure off as yours still gives me nightmares.”
Sanji grimaced. “Are you serious? Kohza mistook this freak of a man for me?” Sanji glanced at Vivi, “we’ve got really good laser eye surgery here in the states. We can set him up with an appointment tomorrow if you’d like?”
The young princess smiled up with him and let out a whispered, “Sanji, thank you for coming.” She reached up and grabbed her friend’s hand and he helped her up from the floor, Nami following suit soon after.
There was a loud crashing of metal and all three quickly turned towards the entrance with the now broken door. Bon Clay had pulled shut a gate of criss-crossed metal that Sanji hadn’t noticed earlier. The eccentric man gave a little wave and said, “Lovely reunion, but I’ve really got to prepare for the show. Try not to smudge your make-up before then! Tah-tah~” Sanji slammed himself into the gate, which rattled and shook, but showed no signs of giving.
“Well, shit.”
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
There was a soft splash as Zoro slipped into the water. He didn’t wait for Usopp to jump in after him before he began pulling the kayak out of the water and onto the rocky shore.
Usopp stood up on wobbly legs and tripped out of the boat, teeth chattering. “I th-th-thought-t-t th-that B-b-rook had-d-d ac-ctual b-b-boat-t-ts with a c-c-cab-b-in and-d-d heat-t-t.”
Robin, wrapped in a warm jacket and high boots, stepped out of the kayak she and Franky had taken. Franky offered her a hand to help her onto a rock jutting out over the water as she turned to look at Usopp and said, “Brook’s other available vessels wouldn’t have been very subtle; either because of the sound of engines or the visibility of sails.”
When all the kayaks had been safely pulled ashore and stashed a safe distance from the water, the group of friends made their way onto level ground and gathered in the shadow of a nearby building.
Luffy zipped up his hoodie, dark and warm, before complaining loudly, “Are we there yet?”
Usopp, wearing a matching hoodie, met Luffy’s complaint with a smack to the head. “Didn’t you notice that we’re on land now?”
Luffy frowned at Usopp. “Yeah, but where’re Sanji, Nami, and Vivi?”
Both turned at the soft rustle of clothing as Robin pulled off her black leather gloves and walked towards the closest street, dimly lit by flickering street lamps. “If memory serves…” she turned back to look at the tallest member of their group. “Brook, did we manage to land near the north-east shore of the island as intended?”
“Oh-ho-yo-ho! That we certainly did~! Right on the mark.”
There was a ringing of metal as Franky pulled the strap of a duffel bag onto his shoulder. Everyone had turned to stare at him. “Well, we gotta have the right equipment if we’re gonna pull off a proper rescue.”
Zoro placed a hand on the swords strapped snug against his hip and said, “I’ve got all the equipment I need right here.”
Usopp pulled out his slingshot and punched his fist into the air. “Me too. Captain Usopp, ready for battle!”
“Well then,” Zoro grinned, “I guess I’ll have my work cut out for me with you watching my back.”
Usopp quickly lowered his arm and stuffed his slingshot into his back pocket. “Haha, yeah, of course, but, y’know. I mean. I’m a long-distance fighter so I’ll definitely have your back, but it’ll… it’ll be from back here. Because. Slingshot. Not really good up-close. You understand,” he stammered.
“Me too!” Chopper piped in. “I’m really just support so, I’ll… support.”
Luffy tilted his head and scratched at his stomach. “Were we supposed to bring weapons?”
“Ahem!” Everyone turned to look at Robin, who now had a massive camera hanging from her neck. “I think Brook and Chopper should stay and watch the boats. The rest of us should try and find a way into the studio warehouse.” Her knee-high boots crunched the gravel as she turned away and briskly headed towards the shadow of the neighboring building. “Which would be this way,” she called over her shoulder.
Ten minutes of walking in silence later, Luffy dropped to the floor in a huff. “Can’t we just ask someone?”
Usopp pulled his hood low over his eyes and leaned in towards Luffy. “It’s said that Black Beard killed the natives that once inhabited Treasure Island. But not before burying his treasure somewhere on this island.”
To everyone’s surprise Luffy sat up and scowled, “Don’t be stupid, Usopp. Everyone knows that all the real pirates sailed in the Atlantic Ocean.”
Usopp stuttered out a loud, “Shut up! If we didn’t have pirates in California, then why do we have TREASURE Island?”
Luffy tilted his head, eyes growing wide. “That’s true! Do you really think there’s treasure here?”
“Actually,” Robin interrupted, “Luffy was right. Most pirates sailed in the Atlantic along the East Coast, Europe, South American, or the Indian Ocean. The only real pirates in the Pacific were those from Asia, but even they they stayed closer to their own countries and rarely, if ever, crossed over to California.” Robin looked up and smiled. “Not to mention the fact that this Treasure Island was artificially built in the 1930s. Its only connection to pirates is that the author of the book ‘Treasure Island’ spent some time in San Francisco.”
“Right,” Luffy stood up, pulling his sleeves up to his elbows. “Let’s get Nami, Vivi, and Sanji. And then we’re moving to the Atlantic Ocean!” He grinned at Zoro, “You’ll come with us, right, Zoro? We’ll need a swordsman.”
Zoro grinned back. “How the hell are you going to live in the middle of the ocean when you never even learned how to swim? I’m not going to spend the rest of my life saving your dumbass from drowning.”
Luffy’s eyes were glinting at the mention of a possible confrontation. “Yeah, let’s do it! Sanji and the girls are waiting!”
“Damn right, we’ve been fucking waiting.” Everyone’s head snapped towards the voice coming from a window on the building across the street. “So glad you guys could make it.”
Luffy grinned and sprinted towards Sanji’s voice. “Found you!”
The rest of the group soon joined Luffy under the barred window resting just a couple feet above their heads. They could barely make out Sanji’s blue eye and blond hair peeking down at them in the dark. Zoro smirked up at him and said, “I can’t believe you got yourself kidnapped, you idiot.”
“I didn’t get kidnapped, asshole. I agreed to go for a ride with some well-dressed men and may or may not have run into a complication once I found the girls.” Sanji returned the smirk, “Which, by the way, I did do. Rescued the girls, that is.”
Zoro rolled his eyes. “We’re the one’s here to rescue you, apparently.”
“Last time I checked,” Sanji smiled, “I snapped my fingers and here you are.”
“Well then, magical curly brows, let’s see you snap your fingers and get yourself out of this fucking mess.”
Sanji opened his mouth to grumble back at the swordsman, but his head suddenly disappeared from the window and in his place popped up Nami. “Right. Sanji’s an idiot and is terribly sorry. He bows down to all your manly prowess, Zoro, and will no doubt confirm this himself later with all sorts of sexual favors. I am sure.” She glared straight down at Zoro. “Now get us the fuck out of here.”
Everyone looked around a little unsure. Luffy tilted his head up and asked, “Can’t Sanji just kick the bars out?” Nami sighed and shook her head.
“No, this window is too high. Sanji can’t get enough leverage to reach it at full force.” She bit at the corner of her lip, “Not that he hasn’t tried.”
“Uhmmm…” Usopp nervously chimed in, “Exactly how much room do you have in there?” They watched as Nami turned her head to look back into the room appraisingly.
“Well, it’s not what I’d call roomy, but I’d approximate it’s about thirty-five feet by twenty feet? It’s longer than it is wide.”
Usopp nodded at her response and set down his back-pack, digging something out. “Aha!” He pulled out a handful of wires and blocks. “I’ll need you guys to stand as far back as possible and make sure you shield all your vital organs.”
Everyone stared at him. Franky peered at the materials in Usopp’s possession. “Dude, bro. Where’d you get all the explosives?”
“Goodbye present from Ace. And Chinatown fireworks from Sanji.”
Franky’s mouth split into a wide grin. “Need any help rigging it up?”
“Pleasepleaseplease,” Nami rubbed her eyes, “accomplish this rescue mission without getting me killed.”
Robin smiled up at her. “You might want to take cover.”
[ Next Chapter: 18 ]