Politically Correct ch. 02
Ohhoho! I finished this chapter about 2 days after the 1st one, but I thought I'd let it simmer for a bit before posting. Just in case I'd wake up the next day and realize "oh hey! Actually this is terrible." (haha this is probably why people get betas)
Title: Politically Correct
Rating: chapter: T [Overall: probably M we'll see if it goes into NC-17 range (might as well go all out yeah?) ]
Word Count: 2,195
Pairing: eventual Zoro x Sanji + a smattering of side pairings
Summary: AU set in the San Francisco Bay Area
Nami has decided that she's tired of Sanji constantly chasing after girls only to be taken advantage of & decides to take a more active role in Sanji committing to a Real Relationship.
Disclaimer: Oda is brilliant and I could only hope to borrow his characters for this story. Instead I'll be using clones mutated by the inevitable OOCness of a new fanfic writer.
Notes: Blahblah still getting used to this Blah. For the past few days I couldn't help but feel there was just... something off with this chapter compared to the first one. & I realized it's because this chapter actually has dialogue and action. Apparently it's easier for me to write when everyone is just having an inner monologue. Don't be afraid of being blunt, critical, or harsh. I can take it. &if I can't, I need to learn how to someday, might as well be now. Whether it be mechanical errors or plot/character errors, dooooo speak up!
[Previous Chapters]
=D
Zoro had never really held a steady job. Or at least not one in any traditional sense. The closest thing he had to a regular paying job was at the Galley-La Company and Frankyhouse. Galley-La was a big name shipyard that did both repairs and new commissions. Frankyhouse was ‘pimp my ride’ for ships. The two were situated right next to each other and always had at least one collaboration project active.
Zoro stepped out of Galley-La and headed over to the Frankyhouse dock. He had been helping out with general labor tasks for most of the day and the only workers left were going over blueprints.
As he approached the luxury shipyard, he saw a large blue-haired man chatting with a couple square-afro’d twins. Franky was loud, obnoxious, and brilliant. His infinite creativity made him an interesting drinking buddy, even if the guy only seemed to order rum and coke.
Franky saw Zoro and stood up, clapping a large hand on the young man’s back.
“ZORO! My man! It’s been too long. Still doing your sword thing across the bay?” Franky waved in the direction of the inactive Naval base which was clearly visible from their dock.
“Mnn. Yeah. But not for much longer, which is actually why I came over. Tomorrow’s last day of filming and we’re having a wrap party afterwards, if you want to come.”
“Awww man. The Lady’s already made me promise I’d attend some shindig or other tomorrow. Not Supaaa! Maybe later we should get drinks?”
Zoro agreed and the two chatted before he began heading off.
Guess I’ll head to the dojo and train a bit. Or maybe stop by one of the college kendo clubs. They’ve got a few competent sparring partners. Zoro tried not to think about the fact that he was getting tired of ‘competent’ and hopped on the BART [1].
At least tomorrow held the promise of food and booze. The two things in his life that he knew he would never tire of.
Franky watched Zoro walk away. He never could figure out exactly how the guy managed to look so alone despite being surrounded by some of the most fiercely loyal friends in existence.
“Bro needs to find a woman.”
Franky pondered the thought for a second.
“Or just get laid.”
XXXXX
Zoro found himself sitting in a white room scowling. They had saved one of the action scenes to be the last segment filmed. It was a relatively difficult scene when it came to technical skill, but it was a scene that they had been rehearsing for the past couple weeks.
The group he had been training with had done their parts perfectly. It was the set crew that had screwed up. Someone had failed to properly secure something small and when Zoro had leapt up to jump from one raised platform to an even higher platform, the whole thing had collapsed and he was left with a gash on his leg and a wrist fracture.
“-ROOOO! You’re not even listening to me and this is important! No alcohol! If you want the fracture to heal quickly you need to know what to eat and drink. Got it?”
Zoro glared at the paper being held out to him and looked up at the stern faced boy.
“You’re kidding right? They’re holding the wrap party tonight. I’ve stayed completely sober these past few weeks in the name of filming and now I can’t celebrate?”
Chopper looked non-plussed. “You stayed sober these past few weeks because if you got hurt with any trace of alcohol in your system then you wouldn’t be covered by the studio’s insurance.” The med student moved to stuff the paper outlining the recommended diet for recovery into the jacket lying at the foot of the bed.
Zoro grumbled and shrugged on his jacket, pulling his sleeves over the temporary splint, making it easier to slip off inconspicuously as soon as he was sure Chopper was no longer in the area. Chopper was another intern who had been recruited to help out. He had been patching up the small injuries the stuntmen and crew had gotten throughout filming and Zoro couldn’t help but be drawn to the guy.
“Thanks.”
Chopper spluttered. “What the hell?! You think I need your gratitude? Shut up and go find some food!”
Zoro chuckled as he watched the doctor-in-training rush out of the tent. The boy was damn adorable.
Zoro could hear the steady thump of music and loud chatter filter in from outside the open window. He knew that Ace had invited his younger brother, who also happened to be Usopp’s best friend, and wondered if anyone had even considered setting aside a plate before the human garbage disposal arrived.
He was taken aback as he stepped out of the building. One of the (properly secured) platforms housed an energetic band and was surrounded by a huge crowd.
“What the hell is this?” Zoro hadn’t even noticed he had spoken aloud until Ace thumped him on the shoulder.
“This, my dear friend, is what happens when you throw a party promising free beer and food and tell your staff full of college kids that they can invite whomever they want. We’re just lucky it’s such a lovely day today! How’re the battle wounds?”
Zoro found himself grinning. It was difficult to stay moody around the guy. Ace and his brother radiated sunshine and smiles.
“They’re barely scratches,” Zoro scoffed as Ace led him towards the buffet tables.
“What’s this I hear about no alcohol during recovery? Drinking by my lonesome is no fun.”
“Eff that Ace. I’m pretty sure Chopper just meant no hard stuff. I doubt a bit of beer will leave me crippled.”
In order to punctuate his point, Zoro headed directly for the tub of iced beer. As he pulled out a can, he saw a dark blur from the corner of his eye and suddenly a firm hand gripped his wrist.
Zoro turned to growl at the offender as an unfamiliar voice asked,
“Are you Roronoa?”
Zoro held back his growl. Maybe this guy wasn’t trying to prevent him from getting his alcohol.
“Yeah, what’s it to you?”
Didn’t mean he hadn’t pissed Zoro off.
“Sorry, but Doogie Howser [2] left a note explicitly stating that there would be no alcohol for the invalid. He did, however, leave specifications on what food you should be eating for now.”
Ace burst out laughing behind Zoro.
Chopper. Fucking. Shit. “What the hell is that crap?”
The plate of food being held out to Zoro didn’t look bad per se. It just didn’t look good surrounded by the, surprisingly, grand buffet that was laid out in front of him.
“It’s a variation of Tofu triangles in creamy nut butter sauce.”
“Ouch. Chopper’s never been this much of a hardass when you’ve gotten injured, what the hell did you do to him Zoro?” Ace didn’t even try to mask the glee etched on his face.
“Fuck if I know.”
“Look. Just be a good boy and eat your food. Maybe I’ll even find you some nice fat-free yogurt for dessert.”
Sanji’s head was throbbing. He had just spent a ridiculous amount of energy preventing a hyperactive kid and his long nosed partner-in-crime from wheeling off an entire table of food.
“Don’t bullshit me. I’ve been patched up enough times to know that eating meat isn’t going to hamper my recovery.”
Sanji had been irritated all week and being asked to play mother to some guy who apparently couldn’t take care of himself wasn’t making his day any better. When the fun-sized doctor had pointed to the well-built green-haired man and handed over a list of food with a “please make sure at least one of these gets on his plate,” Sanji had decided to make a meal out of it.
It was still a damn good meal, but one he had (rightfully) assumed the muscle head wouldn’t be very pleased with. Sure, the doctor hadn’t said ‘no steak’, but he hadn’t listed it as a recommended dish either.
Really, it was left up to interpretation.
Sanji turned a sickeningly sweet smile back to Zoro.
“Buffet rules, sir. If you don’t finish what’s on your plate you can’t come back for more.”
Zoro snatched the plate from the blonde and scarfed down the food in a manner that would have made Luffy proud.
Fuuuck. What did he say this was? Peanut butter tofu?
He swallowed the food, slightly regretting not taking the chance to savor the taste.
Like hell he’d let the smug bastard know.
“Plate’s clean. Now I want some real food.”
Zoro shifted to reach around the blonde to fill his plate and instead found a firm foot against his chest.
“If you want more food then you need to get back in line.”
Sanji knew he was picking a fight. He knew he was picking a stupid fight at that. But he had suddenly become very aware of how long it had been since he had actually fought with someone. He had often gotten into scuffles while working at the Baratie, but the parties he tended to cater at nowadays conducted all animosity in an underhanded fashion. It was all pointed words and not-so-subtle implications. This outdoor frat party was perfect.
Come on! Make a move!
“Mosshead.”
And suddenly there was a blade at his throat. It was a blunted edge, but it was enough.
Thankyouthankyouthankyou
Sanji pushed off from his leg still pressed against the muscled chest and dodged as the blade swung towards him again. He ducked and swung his legs out low, catching one foot that hadn’t been lifted fast enough.
Zoro was caught off guard. He had expected the blonde to have some skill simply by the strength and control he had felt when the foot had been pressed against him.
But damn.. fucker’s fast too.
The two continued to clash and separate for a minute longer. Both were ignoring the ring of people that had formed around them.
Sanji was slightly disappointed. The guy--had his friend called him Zoro?--was strong and lighter on his feet than Sanji had expected with his size, but there were holes. Not often and not big, but there nonetheless. The guy had barely lifted his left arm throughout the fight and was just a millisecond slow on his right leg.
Fucker better not be holding out on me. Oh. Right. Shit.
Zoro saw his opponent stiffen and pause right before the (admittedly easy to dodge) blade made contact with his gut.
“Oi, what the hell are you-”
“You’re fucking injured and you’re fighting! What the hell is your problem?”
This guy can’t be serious. Zoro stared at him for a beat longer.
“Who the hell do you think started this fight in the first place?!”
“I forgot… about your injuries, I mean…”
“Whatever. They just level the playing field a bit. Why else do you think you’re still even standing?” Zoro returned the earlier smirk. It wasn’t convincing.
Sanji rolled his eyes. “I don’t need a fucking handicap to kick your ass.”
But there was no poison in the words. Sanji was distracted by thoughts of how the swordsman would fight in top form. How fun it would be.
He sighed. “Just… wait here a minute.” And the man disappeared into the building behind the food setup only to come back wheeling a couple carts heaped with food.
“Here. Every plate contains at least one thing that’s supposed to be helping your recovery. Also, seeing as how the strawhat kid and Pinocchio seem to know you and your friend, this should keep them away from the buffet tables.” He remembered the commotion they had caused earlier in the day. “For a bit.”
Zoro looked behind him and saw Luffy perched on Ace with Usopp right behind him. He was grinning around a mouthful of food and waving energetically.
He looked at the food and turned a suspicious eye to the guy offering it.
“Eat. The Fucking. Food. And listen to your fucking doctor.” He paused. “That way, next time, when I kick your face in For Real you won’t have an excuse.”
The blonde disappeared before he could retort. Zoro grumbled and noticed only half the food was left.
He and Luffy had gotten close during the few years Ace had been gone. He would easily concede that he considered Luffy to be his closer friend. He had no idea how it had happened, but sometime during Ace’s absence Zoro had found himself being dragged along with Luffy and Usopp on their ‘Nighttime Adventures’.
Damn it all to hell if I don’t die of starvation because I’ve kept this kid around.
“Boy Zoro! You definitely know how to make friends!” Another column of food disappeared. “Can you ask him if they do doggie bags?”
“Doggie bags? You say that like you’re capable of carrying food around outside your mouth,” Usopp said around his own mouthful of food.
Zoro picked up the beefiest plate he could find. Had the curly-brow said ‘next time’?
I don’t even know the bastard’s name.
Footnotes:
[1] BART: Bay Area Rapid Transit. It’s pretty much a subway. Except it goes above land and underwater.
[2] Doogie Howser an 80’s med show about a 16 year old doctor (played by the ever lovely Neil Patrick Harris! who, BtheDUBS I would totally cast as Sanji!)
[Ch. 03]
Title: Politically Correct
Rating: chapter: T [Overall: probably M we'll see if it goes into NC-17 range (might as well go all out yeah?) ]
Word Count: 2,195
Pairing: eventual Zoro x Sanji + a smattering of side pairings
Summary: AU set in the San Francisco Bay Area
Nami has decided that she's tired of Sanji constantly chasing after girls only to be taken advantage of & decides to take a more active role in Sanji committing to a Real Relationship.
Disclaimer: Oda is brilliant and I could only hope to borrow his characters for this story. Instead I'll be using clones mutated by the inevitable OOCness of a new fanfic writer.
Notes: Blahblah still getting used to this Blah. For the past few days I couldn't help but feel there was just... something off with this chapter compared to the first one. & I realized it's because this chapter actually has dialogue and action. Apparently it's easier for me to write when everyone is just having an inner monologue. Don't be afraid of being blunt, critical, or harsh. I can take it. &if I can't, I need to learn how to someday, might as well be now. Whether it be mechanical errors or plot/character errors, dooooo speak up!
[Previous Chapters]
=D
Zoro had never really held a steady job. Or at least not one in any traditional sense. The closest thing he had to a regular paying job was at the Galley-La Company and Frankyhouse. Galley-La was a big name shipyard that did both repairs and new commissions. Frankyhouse was ‘pimp my ride’ for ships. The two were situated right next to each other and always had at least one collaboration project active.
Zoro stepped out of Galley-La and headed over to the Frankyhouse dock. He had been helping out with general labor tasks for most of the day and the only workers left were going over blueprints.
As he approached the luxury shipyard, he saw a large blue-haired man chatting with a couple square-afro’d twins. Franky was loud, obnoxious, and brilliant. His infinite creativity made him an interesting drinking buddy, even if the guy only seemed to order rum and coke.
Franky saw Zoro and stood up, clapping a large hand on the young man’s back.
“ZORO! My man! It’s been too long. Still doing your sword thing across the bay?” Franky waved in the direction of the inactive Naval base which was clearly visible from their dock.
“Mnn. Yeah. But not for much longer, which is actually why I came over. Tomorrow’s last day of filming and we’re having a wrap party afterwards, if you want to come.”
“Awww man. The Lady’s already made me promise I’d attend some shindig or other tomorrow. Not Supaaa! Maybe later we should get drinks?”
Zoro agreed and the two chatted before he began heading off.
Guess I’ll head to the dojo and train a bit. Or maybe stop by one of the college kendo clubs. They’ve got a few competent sparring partners. Zoro tried not to think about the fact that he was getting tired of ‘competent’ and hopped on the BART [1].
At least tomorrow held the promise of food and booze. The two things in his life that he knew he would never tire of.
Franky watched Zoro walk away. He never could figure out exactly how the guy managed to look so alone despite being surrounded by some of the most fiercely loyal friends in existence.
“Bro needs to find a woman.”
Franky pondered the thought for a second.
“Or just get laid.”
XXXXX
Zoro found himself sitting in a white room scowling. They had saved one of the action scenes to be the last segment filmed. It was a relatively difficult scene when it came to technical skill, but it was a scene that they had been rehearsing for the past couple weeks.
The group he had been training with had done their parts perfectly. It was the set crew that had screwed up. Someone had failed to properly secure something small and when Zoro had leapt up to jump from one raised platform to an even higher platform, the whole thing had collapsed and he was left with a gash on his leg and a wrist fracture.
“-ROOOO! You’re not even listening to me and this is important! No alcohol! If you want the fracture to heal quickly you need to know what to eat and drink. Got it?”
Zoro glared at the paper being held out to him and looked up at the stern faced boy.
“You’re kidding right? They’re holding the wrap party tonight. I’ve stayed completely sober these past few weeks in the name of filming and now I can’t celebrate?”
Chopper looked non-plussed. “You stayed sober these past few weeks because if you got hurt with any trace of alcohol in your system then you wouldn’t be covered by the studio’s insurance.” The med student moved to stuff the paper outlining the recommended diet for recovery into the jacket lying at the foot of the bed.
Zoro grumbled and shrugged on his jacket, pulling his sleeves over the temporary splint, making it easier to slip off inconspicuously as soon as he was sure Chopper was no longer in the area. Chopper was another intern who had been recruited to help out. He had been patching up the small injuries the stuntmen and crew had gotten throughout filming and Zoro couldn’t help but be drawn to the guy.
“Thanks.”
Chopper spluttered. “What the hell?! You think I need your gratitude? Shut up and go find some food!”
Zoro chuckled as he watched the doctor-in-training rush out of the tent. The boy was damn adorable.
Zoro could hear the steady thump of music and loud chatter filter in from outside the open window. He knew that Ace had invited his younger brother, who also happened to be Usopp’s best friend, and wondered if anyone had even considered setting aside a plate before the human garbage disposal arrived.
He was taken aback as he stepped out of the building. One of the (properly secured) platforms housed an energetic band and was surrounded by a huge crowd.
“What the hell is this?” Zoro hadn’t even noticed he had spoken aloud until Ace thumped him on the shoulder.
“This, my dear friend, is what happens when you throw a party promising free beer and food and tell your staff full of college kids that they can invite whomever they want. We’re just lucky it’s such a lovely day today! How’re the battle wounds?”
Zoro found himself grinning. It was difficult to stay moody around the guy. Ace and his brother radiated sunshine and smiles.
“They’re barely scratches,” Zoro scoffed as Ace led him towards the buffet tables.
“What’s this I hear about no alcohol during recovery? Drinking by my lonesome is no fun.”
“Eff that Ace. I’m pretty sure Chopper just meant no hard stuff. I doubt a bit of beer will leave me crippled.”
In order to punctuate his point, Zoro headed directly for the tub of iced beer. As he pulled out a can, he saw a dark blur from the corner of his eye and suddenly a firm hand gripped his wrist.
Zoro turned to growl at the offender as an unfamiliar voice asked,
“Are you Roronoa?”
Zoro held back his growl. Maybe this guy wasn’t trying to prevent him from getting his alcohol.
“Yeah, what’s it to you?”
Didn’t mean he hadn’t pissed Zoro off.
“Sorry, but Doogie Howser [2] left a note explicitly stating that there would be no alcohol for the invalid. He did, however, leave specifications on what food you should be eating for now.”
Ace burst out laughing behind Zoro.
Chopper. Fucking. Shit. “What the hell is that crap?”
The plate of food being held out to Zoro didn’t look bad per se. It just didn’t look good surrounded by the, surprisingly, grand buffet that was laid out in front of him.
“It’s a variation of Tofu triangles in creamy nut butter sauce.”
“Ouch. Chopper’s never been this much of a hardass when you’ve gotten injured, what the hell did you do to him Zoro?” Ace didn’t even try to mask the glee etched on his face.
“Fuck if I know.”
“Look. Just be a good boy and eat your food. Maybe I’ll even find you some nice fat-free yogurt for dessert.”
Sanji’s head was throbbing. He had just spent a ridiculous amount of energy preventing a hyperactive kid and his long nosed partner-in-crime from wheeling off an entire table of food.
“Don’t bullshit me. I’ve been patched up enough times to know that eating meat isn’t going to hamper my recovery.”
Sanji had been irritated all week and being asked to play mother to some guy who apparently couldn’t take care of himself wasn’t making his day any better. When the fun-sized doctor had pointed to the well-built green-haired man and handed over a list of food with a “please make sure at least one of these gets on his plate,” Sanji had decided to make a meal out of it.
It was still a damn good meal, but one he had (rightfully) assumed the muscle head wouldn’t be very pleased with. Sure, the doctor hadn’t said ‘no steak’, but he hadn’t listed it as a recommended dish either.
Really, it was left up to interpretation.
Sanji turned a sickeningly sweet smile back to Zoro.
“Buffet rules, sir. If you don’t finish what’s on your plate you can’t come back for more.”
Zoro snatched the plate from the blonde and scarfed down the food in a manner that would have made Luffy proud.
Fuuuck. What did he say this was? Peanut butter tofu?
He swallowed the food, slightly regretting not taking the chance to savor the taste.
Like hell he’d let the smug bastard know.
“Plate’s clean. Now I want some real food.”
Zoro shifted to reach around the blonde to fill his plate and instead found a firm foot against his chest.
“If you want more food then you need to get back in line.”
Sanji knew he was picking a fight. He knew he was picking a stupid fight at that. But he had suddenly become very aware of how long it had been since he had actually fought with someone. He had often gotten into scuffles while working at the Baratie, but the parties he tended to cater at nowadays conducted all animosity in an underhanded fashion. It was all pointed words and not-so-subtle implications. This outdoor frat party was perfect.
Come on! Make a move!
“Mosshead.”
And suddenly there was a blade at his throat. It was a blunted edge, but it was enough.
Thankyouthankyouthankyou
Sanji pushed off from his leg still pressed against the muscled chest and dodged as the blade swung towards him again. He ducked and swung his legs out low, catching one foot that hadn’t been lifted fast enough.
Zoro was caught off guard. He had expected the blonde to have some skill simply by the strength and control he had felt when the foot had been pressed against him.
But damn.. fucker’s fast too.
The two continued to clash and separate for a minute longer. Both were ignoring the ring of people that had formed around them.
Sanji was slightly disappointed. The guy--had his friend called him Zoro?--was strong and lighter on his feet than Sanji had expected with his size, but there were holes. Not often and not big, but there nonetheless. The guy had barely lifted his left arm throughout the fight and was just a millisecond slow on his right leg.
Fucker better not be holding out on me. Oh. Right. Shit.
Zoro saw his opponent stiffen and pause right before the (admittedly easy to dodge) blade made contact with his gut.
“Oi, what the hell are you-”
“You’re fucking injured and you’re fighting! What the hell is your problem?”
This guy can’t be serious. Zoro stared at him for a beat longer.
“Who the hell do you think started this fight in the first place?!”
“I forgot… about your injuries, I mean…”
“Whatever. They just level the playing field a bit. Why else do you think you’re still even standing?” Zoro returned the earlier smirk. It wasn’t convincing.
Sanji rolled his eyes. “I don’t need a fucking handicap to kick your ass.”
But there was no poison in the words. Sanji was distracted by thoughts of how the swordsman would fight in top form. How fun it would be.
He sighed. “Just… wait here a minute.” And the man disappeared into the building behind the food setup only to come back wheeling a couple carts heaped with food.
“Here. Every plate contains at least one thing that’s supposed to be helping your recovery. Also, seeing as how the strawhat kid and Pinocchio seem to know you and your friend, this should keep them away from the buffet tables.” He remembered the commotion they had caused earlier in the day. “For a bit.”
Zoro looked behind him and saw Luffy perched on Ace with Usopp right behind him. He was grinning around a mouthful of food and waving energetically.
He looked at the food and turned a suspicious eye to the guy offering it.
“Eat. The Fucking. Food. And listen to your fucking doctor.” He paused. “That way, next time, when I kick your face in For Real you won’t have an excuse.”
The blonde disappeared before he could retort. Zoro grumbled and noticed only half the food was left.
He and Luffy had gotten close during the few years Ace had been gone. He would easily concede that he considered Luffy to be his closer friend. He had no idea how it had happened, but sometime during Ace’s absence Zoro had found himself being dragged along with Luffy and Usopp on their ‘Nighttime Adventures’.
Damn it all to hell if I don’t die of starvation because I’ve kept this kid around.
“Boy Zoro! You definitely know how to make friends!” Another column of food disappeared. “Can you ask him if they do doggie bags?”
“Doggie bags? You say that like you’re capable of carrying food around outside your mouth,” Usopp said around his own mouthful of food.
Zoro picked up the beefiest plate he could find. Had the curly-brow said ‘next time’?
I don’t even know the bastard’s name.
Footnotes:
[1] BART: Bay Area Rapid Transit. It’s pretty much a subway. Except it goes above land and underwater.
[2] Doogie Howser an 80’s med show about a 16 year old doctor (played by the ever lovely Neil Patrick Harris! who, BtheDUBS I would totally cast as Sanji!)
[Ch. 03]