Politically Correct ch. 11
One day, my chapters will be of consistent length and quality. That day is not today.
As always, constructive criticism is very much appreciated and (should) lead to better chapters in the future~
Title: Politically Correct
Rating: T
Word Count: 3,629
Pairing: Zoro x Sanji
Summary: AU set in the San Francisco Bay Area Nami has decided that she's tired of Sanji constantly chasing after girls only to be taken advantage of & decides to take a more active role in Sanji committing to a Real Relationship.
Disclaimer: One Piece is the brainchild of Odacchi.
Notes: Ch.10 (FFnet) will be replaced with a non-explicit version in a few days. After that you'll have to head over to LJ for the full experience ;D
[Previous Chapters]
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Zoro didn’t want to get up. The bed was warm and covered in what felt like infinite thread count sheets. Zoro looked over and noticed a distinct lack of Sanji, but he could hear muffled sounds coming from the next room. He slowly rolled out of the bed, pulling on his boxers as he opened the door.
“Finally. I was beginning to think you were in a coma.” Sanji was sitting at his desk, flipping through a stack of papers. He regarded Zoro over the top of a large binder.
Zoro squinted through the bright sunlight, mouth open in a huge yawn. “What time is it?”
“It’s almost one. You slept for a solid eleven hours. I put out some towels for you in the bathroom.” Zoro didn’t move, one hand absentmindedly scratching at his bare stomach. “That was me letting you know that I can smell you from across the room. Shower. Now.”
“What? Don’t like smelling yourself all over me?”
Sanji began to retort, but Zoro had already walked back into the room. He looked down at the binder in his hands before setting it aside and heading to the kitchen to prepare brunch.
Zoro leaned with his back against the bathroom door, listening to the faint sounds of Sanji in the kitchen. Zoro had always taken the time to train his senses. He needed to be able to fight even if he couldn’t see, needed to know what his opponent was doing even if he couldn’t hear. It had become natural for him to walk into a room and immediately take note of where everyone was and what they were doing. So he had been very aware of the fact that, lately, his eyes only followed Sanji and his ears were constantly straining to pick up the cook’s every move.
It was distracting and completely throwing him off. I need to get over this.
He pushed away from the door and peeled off his boxers, wondering why he had even bothered to put them on in the first place, as he headed for the shower. The bathroom was every bit the white minimalist design of the rest of the apartment. It was slightly narrow with the bath on one length of wall and the sink and counter directly across. The tub itself was long and deep, perfect for taking baths. Zoro pictured Sanji lounging in the tub, surrounded by candles, wine in one hand while the fingers of the other held a cigarette to his lips.
He laughed at the image. Sanji was a hopeless romantic, sure, but only when girls were around. He tries so hard to act like Mr. Classy Prince Charming, but the second the women leave the room he’s just as impatient and brutish as all us other men. Zoro took a quick shower and realized he had left his duffle bag in the middle of the dining room the night before, only to find it resting against the wall next to the bathroom door. He could smell breakfast coming from the kitchen. Idiotic pain in the ass that he is, he’d really make a good house wife. Sanji was still standing at the stove by the time Zoro walked into the room fully clothed.
“Food’ll be done in a few minutes.” Sanji had an unlit cigarette hanging between his lips, but took a moment to light it on the gas stove. Zoro took a seat at the bar counter while Sanji added a final pancake to a stack already sitting on the counter. He set the plate in front of Zoro along with a side of sausages. “Blueberry pancakes. Here’s the syrup and napkins are over there. I’ve got coffee, juice, water…?”
It was almost frightening how attentive Sanji was being. “Water’s fine. Thanks, honey.”
Zoro ducked and Sanji’s foot swept over his head. “Did I say ‘blueberry’? Sorry, I meant arsenic. Here, have some crushed-glass-sprinkles as well.”
“Yes, yes. Everyone knows you could poison our food and we’d be none the wiser, but I’m beginning to doubt that you could ever bear to have your precious food be the instrument of death.” Sanji grumbled, unable to deny it, and sat down to watch Zoro dig into the food. “Did you already eat? How long have you been awake?” Zoro hadn’t failed to notice the cold sheets on Sanji’s side of the bed when he had first gotten up.
“Sometime around 8 or 9? Still got a good seven hours of sleep in, which is better than my average.” Sanji took a drink from his cup of tea.
Zoro looked slightly disgusted. “Why the hell did you get up early? I thought you didn’t have work.”
“Eleven hours isn’t normal, y’know. Seven hours is. And I’ve gotten into the habit of waking up earlier than everyone else in order to get breakfast ready. I had to look over some stuff for the soup kitchen anyways, so it worked out.” Sanji was staring unhappily at the binder still sitting on his desk.
“Right. Christmas is in a few days. Spending the whole day there like Thanksgiving?”
“Well, usually I do all of Christmas Eve and make sure to put in a few hours on the day of, but the 24th is Chopper’s birthday so I’ll probably switch it around. I also need to work on his cake. I know he likes things super sweet, but not everyone else does so I should make a second cake…”
Zoro put his dishes in the sink, aware that Sanji was, at this point, talking to himself. He let the cook babble on, but decided to interrupt once he began mulling over the possibility of coordinating the color of the food with the color of the birthday decorations. “Does this mean you’ll be out and about for the next few days?”
Sanji paused mid-sentence. “Probably. But you’re free to stay here even if I’m out. It’s not like you need me to watch you train and take naps all day.”
“Make fun of my training all you want, I’m not the one who spends all my time around food. But I’m going back to my own apartment today.”
“I guess that takes care of the issue, then.” Sanji wasn’t disappointed. He didn’t have a reason to be disappointed and Zoro had every reason to want to stay at his own place instead of Sanji’s. “When are you heading out?”
“Bathroom and then I’m off.”
“As long as you’re not taking a shit. You can stink up your own place, thanks.”
“I forget how classy you are sometimes.”
“Class is wasted on the likes of you.”
“And yet I still manage to survive,” Zoro called out the bathroom door. When he was done, he grabbed his jacket and headed out. “I left the seat down for you. I know how much you women hate having it left up.” He shut the apartment door just in time to hear a heavy something thud against the door behind him.
Sanji pushed away the nagging realization that Zoro was getting the last word in more often. He rolled up his sleeves and stood in front of the sink. His kitchen was his haven. It always had been and it probably always would be. But the downside of taking on the position of personal chef for all his friends meant that he spent most of his time in someone else’s kitchen. When he worked, he’d take the leftovers at the end of the day and would rarely have a reason to cook for himself while at home.
Zoro’s ‘visits’ had been the only times in a long while that Sanji had gotten around to cooking in his own kitchen. And that stretch of time when he was making brunch for Zoro, with the blue of the ocean always in sight, had been utter peace. Or, at least, when that loud-assed mossball kept his mouth shut.
Sanji felt the emptiness of the apartment. The silence. It’d be nice to have someone to cook for at home on a regular basis. He mulled over the way Zoro never complimented his cooking, yet always looked at the food with appreciation. He wasn’t picky and would finish whatever was placed in front of him. Sanji loved that about him.
He froze. Hands submerged in sudsy water. What the hell am I going on about? He says something nice about my eyes and suddenly I want to cook for him every day? Zoro was winning. Sanji wasn’t sure what the competition was, but Zoro was winning. And Zoro had been winning from the moment he hadn’t freaked out on the bus while Sanji had.
Zoro was right. Sanji wasn’t training enough.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
There were people in Zoro’s apartment. He could barely hear the voices from down the hall, but they were there. Zoro pressed an ear to his door, hand resting on a sword.
“We’ll get him eventually and I’ll relish taking you down with him.” The first voice was unfamiliar.
“I’d love to see you try and contain the massive turf wars that’d result if Whitebeard ever did disappear. Pops takes better care of his territories than you suits ever could. And even you know that the top brass prefers it that way so they don’t have to deal with it themselves.” Aaaand that’s Ace.
“What’s that, Portgas? Even if I can’t touch you officially, there’s enough in your file to justify my making your life one hell of an inconvenience.”
“I’d love to be inconvenienced by you, Smoker.”
Zoro pushed the door open. He knew that Ace had more secrets than most and he had never been particularly interested in finding out what they were. “Oi.” Ace was lounging in a chair with a mischievous glint in his eye while a large white-haired man in a fur-trimmed white jacket stood glaring.
“Oh hey, Zoro! You have a guest.” Ace waved at him before motioning towards the other man.
“You’re Roronoa?”
“Zoro. Who the hell are you?”
“Agent Smoker, FBI.” [1] He flashed an ID card. “I just have a few questions.” The man’s face looked as though it were stuck in a permanent scowl, but, Zoro reasoned, it might’ve just been because of the way Ace was grinning at him.
“If this has anything to do with Mihawk or Vivi, then I’m not interested and there’s nothing to tell, anyways.” Zoro made his way to his liquor cabinet, only to have the empty shelves remind him that he had taken everything to Vivi’s house.
He was going to blame this on Ace.
“Your level of interest in the matter doesn’t concern me. I have questions and you’ll answer them.” Zoro’s grip on his sword tightened. Ace noticed.
“Now, now, Smoker. Didn’t you say you were planning on meeting up with your lovely partner? Why don’t we all just go out and have this nice little discussion over lunch, then?”
“I already ate.” Zoro saw the empty beer cans in the trash. “Have you been living in my apartment?”
“Well, you weren’t using it. And my booty calls, unlike yours, don’t come with a five star meal, so I want lunch. We’ll go to some place with a bar so you can drink and Smoker can have the cigar I know he’s itching to have.” Zoro didn’t ask why Ace was so well acquainted with an FBI agent. It probably had to do with all his unannounced trips down to San Diego.
“Just let me pack some stuff.”
Smoker didn’t look amused, but he really did want a cigar, so he agreed.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sanji couldn’t quite remember what life was like before Zoro. And not necessarily because of Zoro himself, but because of the friends Zoro had brought with him.
“You honestly don’t know what Chopper’s favorite color is?” Sanji stared at Luffy, strawhat loyally sitting atop his head despite the cold weather.
“Ehh? He likes candy?”
Sanji sighed. “I know he likes candy, but that’s not really a color, Luffy. Though… I don’t think I really know what his favorite non-sweet food is.”
Luffy perked up. “As one of his best friends, I feel like I should tell you that he really likes meat. He’d probably be really angry if you didn’t make lots of steak and chicken and ham and fish and-“ Sanji smacked him on the side of the head.
“I’m not an idiot, Luffy. I at least know that Chopper’s a vegetarian.” Sanji smiled. “Maybe, I should design the party around that. It’ll be a no meat zone!”
Usopp raised his hand. “Ah, sorry. My doctor said that it is absolutely necessary for me to eat meat with every meal.”
Luffy’s eyes sparkled. “Is that a contagious disease?”
“Alas~ it is not a disease, but a side-effect of me being a Real Man. Because Real Men are carnivores and, if I am forced to eat only fruit and vegetables all day long, I will be driven crazy by the hunger and will eat the closest source of meat. EVEN IF IT’S A FRIEND!”
Sanji shut them up with two swift kicks and headed towards the grocery store entrance. “I guess I should get tofu. There’s a lot that I can do with tofu.”
Usopp dusted himself off. “Uhh… I guess I could always call Kaya and ask if she has any ideas?”
Sanji grabbed a cart. “Kaya?”
“She’s my childhood friend and she went to the same pre-med school with Chopper. They used to live on the same floor in the dorms.”
Sanji frowned. “But I’m really quite warming up to the idea of an all-organic-vegetarian party.”
Usopp quickly pulled out his cellphone and made the call.
A few hours later found Sanji’s trunk filled with pink decorations and bags full of groceries. He had planned on going straight back to his apartment and sorting out the paperwork for the soup kitchen, but despite their nonstop complaining and moping about for the majority of the shopping trip, Luffy and Usopp had stayed to help.
“We’ll drop the stuff off at my apartment and then we’ll head to Chinatown.” Sanji pulled the driver-side door open.
“More shopping? Can’t we just go to the zoo?” Luffy was eyeing a colorful advertisement featuring a monkey.
“Fisherman’s Wharf isn’t too far from Chinatown. They’ve got a few rides and you can check out the sea lions?” Luffy visibly brightened.
But Usopp paled. “Y-you mean. The sea lions with teeth? And weigh thousands of pounds? The one’s that aren’t in secure cages? Those sea lions? I just remembered that I have a huge project I need to finish so I’ll probably be leaving now.”
“That’s too bad. I thought that, since New Years is around the corner, you’d be able to pick out some fireworks and firecrackers that we could all set off.” Sanji was hanging on the open car door.
“Like sparklers? All the hardcore fireworks and stuff are illegal.”
“That’s why we’re going to Chinatown. I know a guy.” At least, I think Gin deals in fireworks too.
Usopp’s eyes were conflicted. It was obvious he found the idea of getting his hand on fireworks exciting, but the “illegal” aspect made him hesitate. But only for a second. “I could take them apart and maybe see if I could create my own effect or even just use the materials and design for some of my own projects…” Usopp climbed into the car as he continued to consider the possibilities.
“Alright! Let’s go eat some sea lions!”
“Dammit, Luffy! How many times have I told you that you’re not allowed to ride on the hood of my car?”
“But this is the best view, right Usopp?”
“You know, I bet we could get Franky to make us seats out there.”
Sanji didn’t care what life was like before he met Zoro. It’s not such a bad thing, surrounding myself with idiots.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
“Of all the restaurants, Ace.” Zoro found himself standing in front of a familiar floating wooden fish.
“What? Franky recommends the place. It’s just an added bonus that we might see your girlfriend working too.”
“He said he has other stuff to do today.”
“It’s no fun if you don’t fight it.”
The Baratie was much more crowded than the first time Zoro had been there. The customers were a mix of dockworkers, tourists, and locals. The atmosphere was less violent than when Sanji had been there, but it was still much livelier than most restaurants he had been to.
“My partner said she’d be here soon so we might as well get a table.” Smoker lit his cigar. [2]
“Ahh~ Welcome back, moron!” Patty was fluttering his eyelashes, hands clasped together, as he led them to an empty table.
Zoro loosened up as soon as he had his drink in hand. “I honestly have no idea what you’re expecting to get from me. I challenged Mihawk, lost, and that’s as far as my association with him goes.”
“We already assumed as much. Mihawk generally works alone, from what we know. Do you have any idea what he was doing in Spain at the time? Overhear any conversations?”
“I have nothing.” Smoker looked thoroughly bored, as though he hadn’t really expected to get any information of use in the first place. “How’d you guys even hear about that, anyways? I doubt Vivi and that kid tipped off the feds.”
“You’re an idiot if you thought that you were the only form of surveillance they had on the girl.” Smoker nodded to someone behind Zoro.
“I hear you’re still using your swords for cheap tricks. I bet you’d join a circus if it paid better.” Zoro stiffened at the voice.
“Geh. Tashigi. Will you give it up already?” Go Away. Go Away.
“You have such beautiful swords and you treat them like party favors. It’s insulting!” Tashigi made her way around Zoro and towards the empty chair next to Smoker, managing to trip within the short distance.
“She’s your partner? You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. FBI?”
“You can only imagine my surprise when I found out you had been given a license to carry your swords with a sponsor from the Alabastan government.”
He had never been able to properly fight Tashigi. Not when she looked so much like Kuina. “Ugh. Can’t you grow out your hair or dye it red or something? Even better, start wearing a mask.” He downed his bottle of beer.
At least. He tried to.
Instead, he watched his bottle shatter on the ground a few feet away. He grit his teeth.
“You really need to learn how to respect women. Telling such a beautiful lady to cover her face…” Sanji had gotten a hold of Tashigi’s hand and given her a quick kiss before she could yank it back.
“I thought you weren’t working here today, shit-cook.” Zoro could hear Ace snickering.
“Luffy got hungry.”
“He’s always hungry.”
“He wanted to eat the sea lions.”
Smoker got up from the table. “This was fairly unproductive. We’re heading back, Tashigi.”
Tashigi stood up, looking at Zoro. “I spoke to Kohza before I came here and I agree with him that there’s something going on, but Vivi’s refusing to accept our protection until we can present a solid threat. So, if you’re serious about keeping her safe, then you need to keep an eye out.” She followed Smoker out the door.
“Anyone else notice how she failed to mention the part where she arrested Kohza because he’s a rebel?” Zoro hadn’t realized how tense he was until Tashigi had left the restaurant. I know she’s not Kuina, but it’s uncanny how similar they are.
Sanji was still standing. “While individuals can be arrested for vandalism and stuff like that, Vivi’s dad never deemed the rebels as a whole to be criminals since they haven’t resorted to violence. He considers it a way to encourage his citizens to speak freely.”
“Which reminds me that I need you to explain what the hell’s up with this whole ‘Baroque Works’ thing.” Zoro could see that Ace had joined Luffy and Usopp at a table not too far behind Sanji. “Smoker, the white-haired guy, left before any of us actually ordered anything so we might as well head back to your place.”
“I promised Luffy and Usopp food and we just got here.”
Zoro pushed his chair back. “Which means you haven’t had time to order yet, either. Too bad you hate cooking and don’t have a kitchen in your apartment.” Sanji rolled his eyes. Zoro looked down at the forgotten bag at his feet. “And I don’t want to carry this shit all over the city.”
Sanji looked at the bag. “I thought you were going back to your apartment.”
“Yeah, but just to grab a few things.” He could see Sanji visibly relax. It wasn’t a reaction Zoro had been expecting. But it also wasn’t a bad reaction. He grinned. “Did you think I wasn’t coming back, ero-cook? Did you miss me?”
He was taken aback by the seriousness in Sanji’s eyes. But it was temporary. “It’s your turn to wash the sheets.” Zoro watched as Sanji returned to his table, said a few words, and left the restaurant with Luffy and Usopp close at his heels.
Ace was still at the table, smiling at Zoro. “What now, Ace.”
“Used to be, Sanji would aim for your face. This time he just kicked over your beer and you didn’t even reach for your swords. You guys sure bicker a whole lot, but you barely do any real fighting nowadays.”
Zoro hadn’t noticed. “I’ll fix that.” He lifted his bag and followed Sanji.
Ace sighed. “I wasn’t saying it was a bad thing, you idiot.”
Footnotes:
[1]: For those who don’t know~ CIA deals with foreign threats/issues while the FBI deals with domestic. The situation in this story deals with both, but even if the Alabastan uprising would be a CIA issue, they would need to go through the FBI if they want info/surveillance on an American citizen (i.e. Zoro).
[2]: So, technically, California has a statewide smoking ban that includes all restaurants. But we’re going to pretend this isn’t the case or that there’s some loophole because they’re on a boat. The Baratie boys are rebels anyways soooo yeah. We’ll go with that. (I also obviously ignore this when I have Sanji smoking everywhere.)
[Chapter 12]
As always, constructive criticism is very much appreciated and (should) lead to better chapters in the future~
Title: Politically Correct
Rating: T
Word Count: 3,629
Pairing: Zoro x Sanji
Summary: AU set in the San Francisco Bay Area Nami has decided that she's tired of Sanji constantly chasing after girls only to be taken advantage of & decides to take a more active role in Sanji committing to a Real Relationship.
Disclaimer: One Piece is the brainchild of Odacchi.
Notes: Ch.10 (FFnet) will be replaced with a non-explicit version in a few days. After that you'll have to head over to LJ for the full experience ;D
[Previous Chapters]
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Zoro didn’t want to get up. The bed was warm and covered in what felt like infinite thread count sheets. Zoro looked over and noticed a distinct lack of Sanji, but he could hear muffled sounds coming from the next room. He slowly rolled out of the bed, pulling on his boxers as he opened the door.
“Finally. I was beginning to think you were in a coma.” Sanji was sitting at his desk, flipping through a stack of papers. He regarded Zoro over the top of a large binder.
Zoro squinted through the bright sunlight, mouth open in a huge yawn. “What time is it?”
“It’s almost one. You slept for a solid eleven hours. I put out some towels for you in the bathroom.” Zoro didn’t move, one hand absentmindedly scratching at his bare stomach. “That was me letting you know that I can smell you from across the room. Shower. Now.”
“What? Don’t like smelling yourself all over me?”
Sanji began to retort, but Zoro had already walked back into the room. He looked down at the binder in his hands before setting it aside and heading to the kitchen to prepare brunch.
Zoro leaned with his back against the bathroom door, listening to the faint sounds of Sanji in the kitchen. Zoro had always taken the time to train his senses. He needed to be able to fight even if he couldn’t see, needed to know what his opponent was doing even if he couldn’t hear. It had become natural for him to walk into a room and immediately take note of where everyone was and what they were doing. So he had been very aware of the fact that, lately, his eyes only followed Sanji and his ears were constantly straining to pick up the cook’s every move.
It was distracting and completely throwing him off. I need to get over this.
He pushed away from the door and peeled off his boxers, wondering why he had even bothered to put them on in the first place, as he headed for the shower. The bathroom was every bit the white minimalist design of the rest of the apartment. It was slightly narrow with the bath on one length of wall and the sink and counter directly across. The tub itself was long and deep, perfect for taking baths. Zoro pictured Sanji lounging in the tub, surrounded by candles, wine in one hand while the fingers of the other held a cigarette to his lips.
He laughed at the image. Sanji was a hopeless romantic, sure, but only when girls were around. He tries so hard to act like Mr. Classy Prince Charming, but the second the women leave the room he’s just as impatient and brutish as all us other men. Zoro took a quick shower and realized he had left his duffle bag in the middle of the dining room the night before, only to find it resting against the wall next to the bathroom door. He could smell breakfast coming from the kitchen. Idiotic pain in the ass that he is, he’d really make a good house wife. Sanji was still standing at the stove by the time Zoro walked into the room fully clothed.
“Food’ll be done in a few minutes.” Sanji had an unlit cigarette hanging between his lips, but took a moment to light it on the gas stove. Zoro took a seat at the bar counter while Sanji added a final pancake to a stack already sitting on the counter. He set the plate in front of Zoro along with a side of sausages. “Blueberry pancakes. Here’s the syrup and napkins are over there. I’ve got coffee, juice, water…?”
It was almost frightening how attentive Sanji was being. “Water’s fine. Thanks, honey.”
Zoro ducked and Sanji’s foot swept over his head. “Did I say ‘blueberry’? Sorry, I meant arsenic. Here, have some crushed-glass-sprinkles as well.”
“Yes, yes. Everyone knows you could poison our food and we’d be none the wiser, but I’m beginning to doubt that you could ever bear to have your precious food be the instrument of death.” Sanji grumbled, unable to deny it, and sat down to watch Zoro dig into the food. “Did you already eat? How long have you been awake?” Zoro hadn’t failed to notice the cold sheets on Sanji’s side of the bed when he had first gotten up.
“Sometime around 8 or 9? Still got a good seven hours of sleep in, which is better than my average.” Sanji took a drink from his cup of tea.
Zoro looked slightly disgusted. “Why the hell did you get up early? I thought you didn’t have work.”
“Eleven hours isn’t normal, y’know. Seven hours is. And I’ve gotten into the habit of waking up earlier than everyone else in order to get breakfast ready. I had to look over some stuff for the soup kitchen anyways, so it worked out.” Sanji was staring unhappily at the binder still sitting on his desk.
“Right. Christmas is in a few days. Spending the whole day there like Thanksgiving?”
“Well, usually I do all of Christmas Eve and make sure to put in a few hours on the day of, but the 24th is Chopper’s birthday so I’ll probably switch it around. I also need to work on his cake. I know he likes things super sweet, but not everyone else does so I should make a second cake…”
Zoro put his dishes in the sink, aware that Sanji was, at this point, talking to himself. He let the cook babble on, but decided to interrupt once he began mulling over the possibility of coordinating the color of the food with the color of the birthday decorations. “Does this mean you’ll be out and about for the next few days?”
Sanji paused mid-sentence. “Probably. But you’re free to stay here even if I’m out. It’s not like you need me to watch you train and take naps all day.”
“Make fun of my training all you want, I’m not the one who spends all my time around food. But I’m going back to my own apartment today.”
“I guess that takes care of the issue, then.” Sanji wasn’t disappointed. He didn’t have a reason to be disappointed and Zoro had every reason to want to stay at his own place instead of Sanji’s. “When are you heading out?”
“Bathroom and then I’m off.”
“As long as you’re not taking a shit. You can stink up your own place, thanks.”
“I forget how classy you are sometimes.”
“Class is wasted on the likes of you.”
“And yet I still manage to survive,” Zoro called out the bathroom door. When he was done, he grabbed his jacket and headed out. “I left the seat down for you. I know how much you women hate having it left up.” He shut the apartment door just in time to hear a heavy something thud against the door behind him.
Sanji pushed away the nagging realization that Zoro was getting the last word in more often. He rolled up his sleeves and stood in front of the sink. His kitchen was his haven. It always had been and it probably always would be. But the downside of taking on the position of personal chef for all his friends meant that he spent most of his time in someone else’s kitchen. When he worked, he’d take the leftovers at the end of the day and would rarely have a reason to cook for himself while at home.
Zoro’s ‘visits’ had been the only times in a long while that Sanji had gotten around to cooking in his own kitchen. And that stretch of time when he was making brunch for Zoro, with the blue of the ocean always in sight, had been utter peace. Or, at least, when that loud-assed mossball kept his mouth shut.
Sanji felt the emptiness of the apartment. The silence. It’d be nice to have someone to cook for at home on a regular basis. He mulled over the way Zoro never complimented his cooking, yet always looked at the food with appreciation. He wasn’t picky and would finish whatever was placed in front of him. Sanji loved that about him.
He froze. Hands submerged in sudsy water. What the hell am I going on about? He says something nice about my eyes and suddenly I want to cook for him every day? Zoro was winning. Sanji wasn’t sure what the competition was, but Zoro was winning. And Zoro had been winning from the moment he hadn’t freaked out on the bus while Sanji had.
Zoro was right. Sanji wasn’t training enough.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
There were people in Zoro’s apartment. He could barely hear the voices from down the hall, but they were there. Zoro pressed an ear to his door, hand resting on a sword.
“We’ll get him eventually and I’ll relish taking you down with him.” The first voice was unfamiliar.
“I’d love to see you try and contain the massive turf wars that’d result if Whitebeard ever did disappear. Pops takes better care of his territories than you suits ever could. And even you know that the top brass prefers it that way so they don’t have to deal with it themselves.” Aaaand that’s Ace.
“What’s that, Portgas? Even if I can’t touch you officially, there’s enough in your file to justify my making your life one hell of an inconvenience.”
“I’d love to be inconvenienced by you, Smoker.”
Zoro pushed the door open. He knew that Ace had more secrets than most and he had never been particularly interested in finding out what they were. “Oi.” Ace was lounging in a chair with a mischievous glint in his eye while a large white-haired man in a fur-trimmed white jacket stood glaring.
“Oh hey, Zoro! You have a guest.” Ace waved at him before motioning towards the other man.
“You’re Roronoa?”
“Zoro. Who the hell are you?”
“Agent Smoker, FBI.” [1] He flashed an ID card. “I just have a few questions.” The man’s face looked as though it were stuck in a permanent scowl, but, Zoro reasoned, it might’ve just been because of the way Ace was grinning at him.
“If this has anything to do with Mihawk or Vivi, then I’m not interested and there’s nothing to tell, anyways.” Zoro made his way to his liquor cabinet, only to have the empty shelves remind him that he had taken everything to Vivi’s house.
He was going to blame this on Ace.
“Your level of interest in the matter doesn’t concern me. I have questions and you’ll answer them.” Zoro’s grip on his sword tightened. Ace noticed.
“Now, now, Smoker. Didn’t you say you were planning on meeting up with your lovely partner? Why don’t we all just go out and have this nice little discussion over lunch, then?”
“I already ate.” Zoro saw the empty beer cans in the trash. “Have you been living in my apartment?”
“Well, you weren’t using it. And my booty calls, unlike yours, don’t come with a five star meal, so I want lunch. We’ll go to some place with a bar so you can drink and Smoker can have the cigar I know he’s itching to have.” Zoro didn’t ask why Ace was so well acquainted with an FBI agent. It probably had to do with all his unannounced trips down to San Diego.
“Just let me pack some stuff.”
Smoker didn’t look amused, but he really did want a cigar, so he agreed.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sanji couldn’t quite remember what life was like before Zoro. And not necessarily because of Zoro himself, but because of the friends Zoro had brought with him.
“You honestly don’t know what Chopper’s favorite color is?” Sanji stared at Luffy, strawhat loyally sitting atop his head despite the cold weather.
“Ehh? He likes candy?”
Sanji sighed. “I know he likes candy, but that’s not really a color, Luffy. Though… I don’t think I really know what his favorite non-sweet food is.”
Luffy perked up. “As one of his best friends, I feel like I should tell you that he really likes meat. He’d probably be really angry if you didn’t make lots of steak and chicken and ham and fish and-“ Sanji smacked him on the side of the head.
“I’m not an idiot, Luffy. I at least know that Chopper’s a vegetarian.” Sanji smiled. “Maybe, I should design the party around that. It’ll be a no meat zone!”
Usopp raised his hand. “Ah, sorry. My doctor said that it is absolutely necessary for me to eat meat with every meal.”
Luffy’s eyes sparkled. “Is that a contagious disease?”
“Alas~ it is not a disease, but a side-effect of me being a Real Man. Because Real Men are carnivores and, if I am forced to eat only fruit and vegetables all day long, I will be driven crazy by the hunger and will eat the closest source of meat. EVEN IF IT’S A FRIEND!”
Sanji shut them up with two swift kicks and headed towards the grocery store entrance. “I guess I should get tofu. There’s a lot that I can do with tofu.”
Usopp dusted himself off. “Uhh… I guess I could always call Kaya and ask if she has any ideas?”
Sanji grabbed a cart. “Kaya?”
“She’s my childhood friend and she went to the same pre-med school with Chopper. They used to live on the same floor in the dorms.”
Sanji frowned. “But I’m really quite warming up to the idea of an all-organic-vegetarian party.”
Usopp quickly pulled out his cellphone and made the call.
A few hours later found Sanji’s trunk filled with pink decorations and bags full of groceries. He had planned on going straight back to his apartment and sorting out the paperwork for the soup kitchen, but despite their nonstop complaining and moping about for the majority of the shopping trip, Luffy and Usopp had stayed to help.
“We’ll drop the stuff off at my apartment and then we’ll head to Chinatown.” Sanji pulled the driver-side door open.
“More shopping? Can’t we just go to the zoo?” Luffy was eyeing a colorful advertisement featuring a monkey.
“Fisherman’s Wharf isn’t too far from Chinatown. They’ve got a few rides and you can check out the sea lions?” Luffy visibly brightened.
But Usopp paled. “Y-you mean. The sea lions with teeth? And weigh thousands of pounds? The one’s that aren’t in secure cages? Those sea lions? I just remembered that I have a huge project I need to finish so I’ll probably be leaving now.”
“That’s too bad. I thought that, since New Years is around the corner, you’d be able to pick out some fireworks and firecrackers that we could all set off.” Sanji was hanging on the open car door.
“Like sparklers? All the hardcore fireworks and stuff are illegal.”
“That’s why we’re going to Chinatown. I know a guy.” At least, I think Gin deals in fireworks too.
Usopp’s eyes were conflicted. It was obvious he found the idea of getting his hand on fireworks exciting, but the “illegal” aspect made him hesitate. But only for a second. “I could take them apart and maybe see if I could create my own effect or even just use the materials and design for some of my own projects…” Usopp climbed into the car as he continued to consider the possibilities.
“Alright! Let’s go eat some sea lions!”
“Dammit, Luffy! How many times have I told you that you’re not allowed to ride on the hood of my car?”
“But this is the best view, right Usopp?”
“You know, I bet we could get Franky to make us seats out there.”
Sanji didn’t care what life was like before he met Zoro. It’s not such a bad thing, surrounding myself with idiots.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
“Of all the restaurants, Ace.” Zoro found himself standing in front of a familiar floating wooden fish.
“What? Franky recommends the place. It’s just an added bonus that we might see your girlfriend working too.”
“He said he has other stuff to do today.”
“It’s no fun if you don’t fight it.”
The Baratie was much more crowded than the first time Zoro had been there. The customers were a mix of dockworkers, tourists, and locals. The atmosphere was less violent than when Sanji had been there, but it was still much livelier than most restaurants he had been to.
“My partner said she’d be here soon so we might as well get a table.” Smoker lit his cigar. [2]
“Ahh~ Welcome back, moron!” Patty was fluttering his eyelashes, hands clasped together, as he led them to an empty table.
Zoro loosened up as soon as he had his drink in hand. “I honestly have no idea what you’re expecting to get from me. I challenged Mihawk, lost, and that’s as far as my association with him goes.”
“We already assumed as much. Mihawk generally works alone, from what we know. Do you have any idea what he was doing in Spain at the time? Overhear any conversations?”
“I have nothing.” Smoker looked thoroughly bored, as though he hadn’t really expected to get any information of use in the first place. “How’d you guys even hear about that, anyways? I doubt Vivi and that kid tipped off the feds.”
“You’re an idiot if you thought that you were the only form of surveillance they had on the girl.” Smoker nodded to someone behind Zoro.
“I hear you’re still using your swords for cheap tricks. I bet you’d join a circus if it paid better.” Zoro stiffened at the voice.
“Geh. Tashigi. Will you give it up already?” Go Away. Go Away.
“You have such beautiful swords and you treat them like party favors. It’s insulting!” Tashigi made her way around Zoro and towards the empty chair next to Smoker, managing to trip within the short distance.
“She’s your partner? You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. FBI?”
“You can only imagine my surprise when I found out you had been given a license to carry your swords with a sponsor from the Alabastan government.”
He had never been able to properly fight Tashigi. Not when she looked so much like Kuina. “Ugh. Can’t you grow out your hair or dye it red or something? Even better, start wearing a mask.” He downed his bottle of beer.
At least. He tried to.
Instead, he watched his bottle shatter on the ground a few feet away. He grit his teeth.
“You really need to learn how to respect women. Telling such a beautiful lady to cover her face…” Sanji had gotten a hold of Tashigi’s hand and given her a quick kiss before she could yank it back.
“I thought you weren’t working here today, shit-cook.” Zoro could hear Ace snickering.
“Luffy got hungry.”
“He’s always hungry.”
“He wanted to eat the sea lions.”
Smoker got up from the table. “This was fairly unproductive. We’re heading back, Tashigi.”
Tashigi stood up, looking at Zoro. “I spoke to Kohza before I came here and I agree with him that there’s something going on, but Vivi’s refusing to accept our protection until we can present a solid threat. So, if you’re serious about keeping her safe, then you need to keep an eye out.” She followed Smoker out the door.
“Anyone else notice how she failed to mention the part where she arrested Kohza because he’s a rebel?” Zoro hadn’t realized how tense he was until Tashigi had left the restaurant. I know she’s not Kuina, but it’s uncanny how similar they are.
Sanji was still standing. “While individuals can be arrested for vandalism and stuff like that, Vivi’s dad never deemed the rebels as a whole to be criminals since they haven’t resorted to violence. He considers it a way to encourage his citizens to speak freely.”
“Which reminds me that I need you to explain what the hell’s up with this whole ‘Baroque Works’ thing.” Zoro could see that Ace had joined Luffy and Usopp at a table not too far behind Sanji. “Smoker, the white-haired guy, left before any of us actually ordered anything so we might as well head back to your place.”
“I promised Luffy and Usopp food and we just got here.”
Zoro pushed his chair back. “Which means you haven’t had time to order yet, either. Too bad you hate cooking and don’t have a kitchen in your apartment.” Sanji rolled his eyes. Zoro looked down at the forgotten bag at his feet. “And I don’t want to carry this shit all over the city.”
Sanji looked at the bag. “I thought you were going back to your apartment.”
“Yeah, but just to grab a few things.” He could see Sanji visibly relax. It wasn’t a reaction Zoro had been expecting. But it also wasn’t a bad reaction. He grinned. “Did you think I wasn’t coming back, ero-cook? Did you miss me?”
He was taken aback by the seriousness in Sanji’s eyes. But it was temporary. “It’s your turn to wash the sheets.” Zoro watched as Sanji returned to his table, said a few words, and left the restaurant with Luffy and Usopp close at his heels.
Ace was still at the table, smiling at Zoro. “What now, Ace.”
“Used to be, Sanji would aim for your face. This time he just kicked over your beer and you didn’t even reach for your swords. You guys sure bicker a whole lot, but you barely do any real fighting nowadays.”
Zoro hadn’t noticed. “I’ll fix that.” He lifted his bag and followed Sanji.
Ace sighed. “I wasn’t saying it was a bad thing, you idiot.”
Footnotes:
[1]: For those who don’t know~ CIA deals with foreign threats/issues while the FBI deals with domestic. The situation in this story deals with both, but even if the Alabastan uprising would be a CIA issue, they would need to go through the FBI if they want info/surveillance on an American citizen (i.e. Zoro).
[2]: So, technically, California has a statewide smoking ban that includes all restaurants. But we’re going to pretend this isn’t the case or that there’s some loophole because they’re on a boat. The Baratie boys are rebels anyways soooo yeah. We’ll go with that. (I also obviously ignore this when I have Sanji smoking everywhere.)
[Chapter 12]