The Exam FMA Fan-Fic

[enigmaroolz]

The Exam.
NC-17 (Non-con, underage, MM)
2363
RoyxEd. Fullmetal Alchemist.
This really isn't a spoiler for anything other than Edward's becoming a State Alchemist.

It was one of the military’s dirty little secrets. Actually, like so many other aspects of military life, it wasn’t all that secret within the ranks.

Comments

[momoiro_usagi]

WOW! This is really, really good! Your writing style is fresh and keeps the reader's attention. You worked with a common theme, but shed some new light onto the issue that kept this piece interesting. I really enjoyed it! ^__^ Great job!

Hmmm, I think "major" is under "lieutenant"...but maybe I'm wrong. There is a period of several years between the Alchemy Exam and Roy's reappearance in episode 13...I know Roy gets promoted to Colonel in that time...maybe Riza also gets promoted when they move to the East?

[enigmaroolz]

Thanks again for reading this (heh, before anyone else would/did!), and for your encouraging words. I'm glad it kept your interest, even though you don't care for the pairing.

And, as someone else also pointed out, "major" is actually above "lieutenant" (with "captain" in between), at least in the U.S. Armed forces. However, the DVD overwrites the Japanese on the screen as "Major Riza Hawkeye" in that particular episode. Later, though, she is referred to as a first lieutenant, with Havoc and Breda being second lieutenants. So . . . hmmm. Maybe it's just an error, as someone suggested.

[fenm]

Could you put a non-con warning, as well as stating what pairing you're using? Some people prefer certain pairings; and either prefer to, or prefer not to, read non-con stories.

[enigmaroolz]

Yes, I will. I did that in a comment to my entry on the community, since I couldn't figure out how to edit the intial community entry. :-/ I'll learn! Thanks!

[l_envyxedward_l]

The only tip I have is that you use 'Roy' alot. You should try to address him as something else, like 'him', 'his', or 'he', in stead of Roy's or Roy. Other than that, it's awesome @_@

[enigmaroolz]

Thank you for reading and for your helpful criticism. Yes, I realized that I was using "Roy" too much, but I didn't want to confuse him with other possible males. Heh, once he becomes a full colonel, it is at least a good option to refer to him by title. However (though I did use it twice), citing him as "the lieutenant colonel" seems a bit awkward to me. (And if you've ever been around military personnel, you know that one NEVER refers to a lieutenant colonel as a full colonel. That's a BIG faux pas.)

Again, thanks for reading and for your kind words!

[xeviscerax]

Um, I know not many of you are FMA enthusiasts, but those of you who are . . . can you tell me why in the anime of "The Alchemy Exam" Riza Hawkeye is listed as a "major" but everywhere else, she's referred to as a first lieutenant? Did she get demoted or something?

I never noticed this. Was this in one of the subbed versions? I have the dub, and I never heard anyone refer to her as a Major. She was a Second Lieutanant in that episode, and was promoted to First Lieutenant later on. A Major would be two ranks higher than a First Lieutanant.

That aside, a very good fic. I like how you had Roy being an unwilling participant in the whole affair. Are you planning to continue this, or was this merely a one-shot?

[enigmaroolz]

I have the Funimation DVD in English that was (is) sold in the U.S. Printed on the screen, overwriting the Japanese, is "Major Riza Hawkeye" when she is first introduced in that episode. Was she actually a second lieutenant in that episode? (I knew she couldn't possibly have been a major, but I honestly thought she was a first lieutenant with Havoc and Breda being second lieutenants.) Wow! Well, maybe, as someone else suggested, it was just an error

[black_wing_cat]

Wow.... I'm serious.... wow... that was short of rape and far from sensual. But damn good. For some reason I can see this taken part more in the manga then it is in the anime. Might just be me. As for the Major thing... If you got the DVD, that might be something that they might have accidently forgot to pull out and put something else in. In my DVD one of the ep Winry says to Ed: "Come on Al, lets to apologise to Al." though it was supposed to be: "Come on Ed." So it might be a mistake that they didn't change.

[enigmaroolz]

Thank you for reading and for your very complimentary words! I have both the manga and the DVD, but I actually took this from the DVD version. (Heh, now I'll have to go back and re-read the manga!)

I think I remember that mistake where Winry says that Al needs to apologize to Al! --grin-- So I'll bet you're right: it was a mistake that no one caught. --pout-- Stuff like that makes it difficult to be absolutely sure of oneself when one is trying to write as close to canon as possible!